Real life scenario, how would you respond?

[MotherEarthisaTerf]

Just curious how many GC women do react when there is a male in a female safe space? Have you ever glared, or said anything?

eg department store changing rooms, public bathrooms?

this isn’t something I’ve come across but I’ll be honest, I’m unlikely to react past a judgemental look.

@StuntNun sounds like an a- grade idiots. The father and coach. Their are some men that have the emotional intelligence of a nit.

Very good info there about Toilets matter. What a mess the NHS has got itself into. They of all people should know that sex matters.

@Hoosemover in a way I can understand the father's rudeness as he must have been worried about his wife but the manager insisted that it wasn't a safeguarding concern and refused to back down. In fact he was offended that I complained to him because he felt that he hadn't made a mistake to leave a man in a changing room where girls were undressing.

But very, very few women ‘look like men’ . They may have short hair ( like me) wear trousers instead of skirts ( me again) , but once you set aside clothing, you still have the female body shape ( narrower shoulders, wider hips) the gentler jaw line, the smaller hands, the completely different gait. Even women who have taken hormones and grown facial hair do not look like men after about….thirty seconds.

The Guardian ( who else) have recently had two episodes of their Blind Date feature , where the women & women category have actually featured two women, one presenting as male and the other having a male name or non binary name. The moment the reader sees the photos , it’s ‘ but that’s a woman’ ( one wonders what the girl who presumably applied for a chap thought, but they are all very courteous although there is ‘no romantic spark 🤣).

The instance of gender aka genital checks by those who espouse chaps in women’s spaces is interesting in itself, though.

I challenged a guy in the ladies changing room at the gym. I was pretty impressed with myself afterwards. I was on my own too. My outrage and anger kicked in and I properly challenged him. He was very belligerent but did leave. His excuse was he was using the scales as the one in the men’s wasn’t working. I also told management and they spoke to him.

edited to say- it’s open plan changing too, no cubicles. Luckily I was fully dressed when he came in.

But very, very few women ‘look like men’ . They may have short hair ( like me) wear trousers instead of skirts ( me again) , but once you set aside clothing, you still have the female body shape ( narrower shoulders, wider hips) the gentler jaw line, the smaller hands, the completely different gait. Even women who have taken hormones and grown facial hair do not look like men after about….thirty seconds.

The Guardian ( who else) have recently had two episodes of their Blind Date feature , where the women & men category have actually featured two women, one presenting as male and the other having a male name or non binary name. The moment the reader sees the photos , it’s ‘ but that’s a woman’ ( one wonders what the girl who presumably applied for a chap thought, but they are all very courteous although there is ‘no romantic spark 🤣).

The instance of gender aka genital checks by those who espouse chaps in women’s spaces is interesting in itself, though.

Same here. I'd love for a woman to challenge me because we could then have a discussion on the subject. I can't imagine anyone ever doing it (I'm called "conventionally attractive" and unfortunately no man has ever mistaken me for one of them!) but it would be fun.

Well now I know that calling someone 'disengenuous' is against the T&C's.

I called into the women's toilets at a motorway service station and immediately clocked a man dressed in dayglo tights and mini-dress and 6 inch heels brushing his long (obviously) hair in front of a mirror. Even though he was 3/4 turned away you could tell immediately.
It was quite busy and every other woman, including me was dressed in a variation of comfy leggings, sweatshirt and comfy shoes.

I don’t understand your post. Why would you “love someone” to challenge you? Why would you want to get into a discussion? And why would it be “fun”?

I don’t imagine many biological females get challenged in women’s spaces. Women don’t tend to make a fuss if they’re uncomfortable and secondly it’s quite unusual for biological women to look like men, especially to the extent that someone would feel confident enough in challenging them.

So you're more concerned about women being "harassed", i.e. asked if they're in the right place, than you are about male voyeurs, wankers, fetishists, abusers, rapists being allowed in the women's loos?

I think they'd know the difference, so no need to worry unnecessarily about that.

I'm really disappointed that genuine posters' posts were deleted and the TRA/MRA got to dominate the thread. I would love it if just one time, the penis-haver was ignored completely and the thread just continued. I have encountered men in women's bathrooms. One was a traumatic experience. I was surprised by how quiet I was on the other occasions. I definitely agree that the urge to flee to safety kicks in hard. I do like to take down 'this bathroom has cubicles only' signs and I am a pro sign-stealer now

Following someone into a shopping centre with my two children. They had long hair, mid thigh frilly skirt, over the knee socks and clumpy heeled shoes (would have worked on the right person). Clocked immediately that they were male from behind because of how they walked (stomped really). We needed the toilets so followed them into the women’s. They turned round in the queue and were clearly male, no doubt about it especially the male pattern baldness. Didn’t say anything but glared at them.

Calling someone 'he' did it for me. To be fair that was a bit of a (Freudian?) slip, I really just wanted to win at Lame Arguments For Men In Women's Spaces Bingo.

He sounds like the sort who would say “women don’t mind, they never mention it.”

Recently on the car ferry from Spain to Morocco I joined the queue in the Ladies. An older man, 60s plus, came out of one of the cubicles. I looked at the two girls queueing in front of me to see if they'd noticed, we were all warily watching him. There's no way he did not realise he was in the ladies.

I just glared at him and muttered something. He didn't acknowledge any of us.

The two muslim girls in front of me refused to go into the cubicle he'd just exited, so I did.

It was a power play on his part. In hindsight I am surprised I didn't react more forcefully, I've been accused of being "bolshy". I was just so shocked, and angry.

I entered some women's toilets which were down a very long and quiet basement corridor shared by a few restaurants. Two girls ages about 12 and 9 went in ahead of me and actually stopped in their tracks as there was person with their back to us, clearly a man, at the sinks. It was automatic and visceral.

The eldest one turned to leave, saw me and I gave her a facial expression type signal that it was okay to keep going. The toilets were empty bar the four of us and we had to walk towards him (still with this back turned) and then turn left which we did quietly.

I don't have kids but my instinct was immediately to protect them and they went into one cubicle and I went in the one next to them. My plan now was to ensure they got out safely. I whispered to them to stay in the cubicle until I gave the all clear.

I finished up ready to challenge the man who was still tinkering by the sink but as I approached the sink it was clear that he was a janitor fixing a tap; overalls and company name on them. He looked surprised to see me and apologised saying he usually leaves when people came in but didn't hear us.

He scampered out and said he'd come back in when we were gone so I told the girls they could come out.

What was interesting was the visceral and automatic response of fear at seeing a man in that space. It was split second. Also the tiny facial expression I was able to give the girls that conveyed so many words. 'Yes I see him too. Go ahead through I will protect you'

Were you too afraid to confront the man?

There was absolutely no indication that the drunk man was trans, which I told the employee, but he didn't care. He was just happy to have a chance to self righteously lecture a "bigot" aka a woman.

I feel like I’m pressing a point, and am almost annoying myself 🤣.

But is there a lawyer among us who can advise if we would currently be arrested for screaming due to fear (even if in 1950s kitten heel style) on finding a man in The Ladies?

I like small acts of strategic, and not unlawful, revolution. And, if I shout “I FEEL harassed by his glaring/scowling/lip-licking”, will it make a difference?

Because, if it IS all about the feels, then these feels are of equal merit. And I have a happy little fantasy of public toilets erupting cross-country with women exiting screaming, handbags and brollies aloft, and people running in, Dick Emery style, to scupper the upstart.

Once in the women’s loo at a theatre I saw a man came out of a cubicle and look startled to see a crowd of women (god knows why, as it was clearly marked for women). All the women burst out laughing, quite spontaneously, and he rushed out.

I was delighted. It was the perfect response, non/aggressive but got him out of there fast.

What a prick.

Actually they are. Men have penises, so do little boys. Women have a vulva, so do little girls. What biology book are you reading?

Just provoke the sod.