Premiere of Trans Widows Film on Friday 30th Aug

[TinselAngel]

Vaishnavi Sundar's long awaited documentary that was three years in the making, is having a worldwide premiere on the 30th of August, 7pm UK time.

Behind The Looking Glass is a feature-length film about the lives of women whose partners have/want to medically transition.

This is the link for the premiere:

That was amazing. A hard watch but amazing. Was it just me or were there no translated captions for the Japanese, Spanish or German contributors? I was frustrated not being able to understand what they were saying (sadly I can only speak English and a bit of French) Did I need to switch captions on or something? But it was a really interesting approach to take with the animation - worked really well. I hope many people get to see it.

You need to turn the English subtitles on.

So excellent. Brilliant production values and animation. Also wonderful to hear you, Tinsel. I'm very moved by this film. I was in a violent, coercive marriage and the commonalities for the trans wives are obvious. This has moved me to tears - the women speaking is powerful and wonderful to hear. Keeping silent for such a long time and then being so brave to share their anger and pain: wow.

Congratulations to everyone involved in its production, its amazing.

I loved the touches like the cats & dogs in the rooms, and Vaishnavi’s eyelashes moving when women were talking to her on the screen. It gave a sense of just how much love & care went into making the film.

Emma from Children of Transitioners nearly had me in tears.

The young Australian woman who was speaking, I've spoken to a few times. She's had a few struggles. Culturally speaking, she's not supposed to be a single parent or divorced, so she really has had a hard time. I told her to be careful of the counsellors she looks for, because there are very few support systems in Australia.

the recent Tickle V Giggle outcome here in Australia has reinforced to many in the feminist community that we have very little power. At some point I'll write another essay on women, power and AGP men but I need to finish the last of the current degree I am studying.

I've said a couple of times that we need behavioural scientists to study women who have been abused by the TWAW system (not just their spouses) but that will take years to do.

I've just watched it. That was incredibly moving. It's now had 19k views. In the comments someone said all MPs should watch it, I completely agree with that.

Also when I watched it the subtitles were already on it.

If only there was a way to force them to - they've cheered this abuse on so they should have to. Will write to mine and ask him to watch it, I suppose that's all we can do.

I watched it yesterday. It was very effective to use montages of the famous men who identify as women, it made me realise how we all are ‘boiling frogs’, being gradually exposed to them and their ‘stunning and brave’ narratives. To see them spliced together in quick succession was like being suddenly dropped in the boiling vat of this madness.

I loved Tinsel’s pithy comments. Such powerful jolts back to what is important. Her response to being asked if she thought her husband was happier now. Its insane how transwidows are expected to care about and prioritise the selfishness of these men.

Yes if I’m somewhere busy I usually put the captions on but I was totally on my own watching this and felt I wouldn’t need them. I appreciate this is the 1st showing and it’s going to have many differently captioned versions going forward. Wasn’t having a dig, just wondered if it was a glitch that could be fixed at this early stage. I’m going to go back and fast forward to those contributors who spoke in their own languages so I don’t miss what they had to contribute. I felt very moved by this film and think it will help so many people understand the suffering of trans widows. I’ve always thought it was rank hypocrisy that the use of ‘dead’ naming is perfectly allowable but trans ‘widow’ is somehow deeply offensive. As with most of this, there is no logic.

And it was great to hear your voice Tinsel - it’s an amazing film 💐

I saw half last night and it blew me away.

I agree with PP that the animations brought a huge amount to the film. The details really brought home how this is happening to women everywhere.

So many women, and horribly, so many things in common through this type of abuse.

Did anyone else note how many of the women were educators/ teachers?

Hearing about her woman behind Children of transitioners speak was also harrowing but so important and the children are so often forgotten.

Derrick Jenson is of the Deep Green Alliance and has also written a lot about how the concept of men being women is an abuse of women, and he draws parallels with some of the work of Lundy Bancroft and also abuse of the planet / ecology. This is their (DGA's) reasoning for being gender critical, alongside queer theory links to pedophilia. Obviously the Green Party doesn't like them.

The delightful image of a bloke using a breast pump that I stumbled across one evening on Twitter, and sent on to Tish/ Genevieve made its way in I see 🤢

God that image! Wish I could unsee that, although I think important that sort of thing is included (and thank goddess it was pixelated). This is all the stuff swept under the carpet by the media narrative and 'be kind'.

Next time someone tells me to 'be kind' I'm going to find out what point that image is in the video and tell them to have a look and think about what 'being kind' is enabling. Then, after they've done that watch the rest of the video and come and tell me afterwards if they think propping up AGPs is 'being kind' to transwidows and children of transitioners.

This video is going to be so useful in arguments with TRA handmaidens who claim to be all for the most vulnerable. I think I'm just going to refuse to engage until they've seen the film. If they won't watch it, it just shows how fake their social activism and moral righteousness is.

Really looking forward to watching this. Thanks so much.

I watched it earlier, definitely eye opening & seriously well done. It's long overdue that these women had the opportunity to speak & be heard. And how unsurprising interesting that decades ago, women were expected to be the human shield for society to keep these men in check & stop them 'escalating' & becoming society's problem instead of the wives/partners/children's problem to grapple with.

It's all the more shocking to realise how these women have been treated since the damn burst, and it proliferated. Canaries in the coal mine, ignored & smeared, and then vilified for not just keeping these men 'contained' & 'happy' while they lost their own sense of themselves as worthy of consideration in an often, if not always, abusive setting.

Well done to everyone who worked hard on this, especially Vaishnavi Sundar, but also our own tinsel who has endured through many years of being dismissed or undermined, to keep that lifeline for women open & accessible.

I've just finished watching it.

It's a tour de force.

The beautifully creative normality of the animation design, the different women's voices all contrasting with what they're talking about has real impact.

And bloody hell yes, the breast pumps, the proliferation of clearly fetishistic men in the grip of getting their rocks off, and the universal agreement that you, your kids, and everybody else seriously don't matter.

I was absolutely infuriated by that wanker writing that these men should get married, and that women should be persuaded to remain in the marriage. Like women are just a fucking piece of furniture.

It would be brilliant if every MP watched this. But even if they don't, it's out there now.

There's no putting that bloody genie back in the bottle.

Tinsel, Emma, and everyone else involved, I genuinely believe this will change everything.

@TinselAngel Just to say you were so clear, well done.

The CoTs founder Emma was brilliant too- she is so brave! If any viewers were confused about reference to falsifying babies' birth certificates, I think it's because it was filmed when these trans demands were still going through the courts https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2023/04/10/paperwork/

and before the recent Judges bench Book changes.
https://childrenoftransitioners.org/2021/12/28/the-judges-bench-book/

Was really glad to see the Cots research re NHS failing to safeguard babies from men who say they are trans referenced too...

I hope that the mumsnet mods will watch this and Justine. Both so they can see the good MN has done by allowing Tinsel a space to reach out to other transwidows but perhaps also so they consider whether or not deleting Tinsel's often robust but fair posts at the behest of what are likely AGP men or TRAs (propping up the ideology harming transwidows and their children) is a good thing to do.

Yes. Among all the other things that film has illuminated, the right side of history is positively neon lit, surrounded by fireworks you can see from space.

@Dumbledoreslemonsherbets Mumsnet mods also deleted an early Cots post about the Cots research evidence into NHS 'chestfeeding'/ safeguarding babies failure too - hench it was released to the national press instead.

Wow - I didn't know this. Not surprising I suppose if the post was deleted. Why on earth did they delete it?

Because it was reported, I suppose. We've all had threads pulled and posts deleted over the years. Women talking about men's abuse is difficult and.many people don't want to hear about it.

I forget which rule of misogyny it is:

'The worst things about male abuse is that it makes men look bad'.

And

'Women have all the rights they need - the right to stay silent'.

Yes Arabella it's another thing for the mods to reflect on, why there are so many reports on some threads and not others. And why some posters are targeted for reporting more than others who say basically the same things.

They could do with some training on abuse dynamics / coercive control so they don't perpetuate abuse in their modding decisions.

Thank you for that clarification. The part about changing a child's birth certificate was news to me. I'm so glad that it hasn't been allowed to happen.

Fantastic film. Huge respect for all involved.

@unwashedanddazed I have been told that although in countries where the ECHR holds power this cruelty and emotional abuse of children has been stopped. But in Sweden men who father children but say they are women can still get themselves listed as a baby's mother, but I have no idea if this is true or not. Perhaps someone with more knowledge than me can advise...