Used an 'all genders' bathroom today

[Dominoodles]

Sent to the theatre today and ended up in an 'all genders' bathroom. Walked in and came face to face with a man and we both instinctively apologised to each other. There was this instant understanding that we should not be sharing that space.

The toilet itself was awful. There was urine splattered all over the seat, a pool of urine on the floor around the base of the toilet, and no sanitary bin that I could see.

I can't say I felt unsafe, exactly - the only man in there was perfectly polite. But it didn't feel 'all genders'. It felt like I was in the men's and everything was covered in pee and nothing catering to women at all. I felt like an intruder, and that it was not a place for women.

I never gave any thought to the concept before but now I feel really uncomfortable about it and I don't really know how to put it into words. What are your thoughts on 'all gender' public bathrooms? I'd love to pick the brains of some ladies here.

I suggest stickering bad loos. Gender neutral toilets are, as we used to say in Another Place, SAFC.

SAFC

I'd forgotten about that, it's an excellent term.

Is that allowed in workplaces? Sounds awful.

Any that I've used have been clean in our local shopping centre. If they're filthy I think that is on the provider to be cleaning them more regularly. I've been in some absolutely disgusting women's bathrooms so I wouldn't say this is specifically a male issue.

We also have a gender neutral bathroom in work. Have never had an issue, it's always clean.

I've been in some absolutely disgusting women's bathrooms so I wouldn't say this is specifically a male issue.

Yeah, but the smell certainly is!

What?? Can't say that's something I've noticed. I'm my last workplace in the female only toilets every cubicle would be smeared with excrement by the end of the day and end up unusable. They didn't smell too great.

In my 62 years on this planet I have never come across a women's toilet where every cubicle was covered in shit. Where the hell do you work?

Lavender is bullshitting.

So many women on this board have rarely seen shit all over in womens toilets,yet lavender and a couple other posters have seen this many many times.

Its a lie, and then they say they cant smell the mens. Well either they lost their nose or they are lying again.
I'm going with lying, for what purpose, I could not say without getting deleted.

‘All’ genders? But there’s only two…this world is nuts

So badly informed. There's over a hundred, dontcha know?

I was at the Hippodrome last week and the toilets on the lower two floors were certainly single sex - highlighted by the massive queues for the women’s during the interval!

Sorry, meant to add that this could have been signposted by the gender neutral ones so you were aware there was a choice.

Totally. Especially in a place that serves alcohol because so many guys can't aim when they're drinking. In that kind of situation I throw a mountain of paper towels or toilet paper down to protect my shoes from the pee. I then go to town with sanitizing spray on the toilet seat and handle.

You must have had a coworker who was a coprophile and enjoyed smearing shit all over the walls. That's the only explanation how shit could get everywhere in every cubicle every single day. Since the odds of that happening are incredibly remote, I'm catching a whiff from this story.

I have never seen shit smeared all over the cubicles in either a women's or mixed sex toilet in my life. I have been in ones that smelled bad because the sanitary pad containers were full and overflowing and there were stinky diapers in the garbage, but shit smears? Give me a break. That is not a thing and the story has to be bogus.

100% agree. I'm willing to stretch as far as your suggestion of a single coprophile or mentally-disturbed individual, but for anyone to then extrapolate to "therefore women's loos are as bad as men's, and in fact loos used by men are even more sparkly clean!" is definitely a load of, um, excrement.

We've just moved into a new office at work the toilets on both floors are in pairs one set at either end, fully contained with basins, mirrors, hand dryers etc, with signs in the door indicate both male and female, the men were actually as uncomfortable if not more so than the women and in a week the unspoken agreement seems to be men on the left (the right ones all have a full length mirror rather than just an above sink one, they all have sanitary bins) it's really interesting.

There was also an actual discussion about loos for poos being the ones in the corridor rather than the ones that open into office or shared space. We do work in an environment where we see and deal with horrific things on a daily basis and discuss topics that would make most people's jaws drop, so there's no shyness around difficult topics.

Doesn't that leave men and women open to allegations?

"He flashed me" vs "she looked too long in my direction"

Don’t men close the cubicle door if they are doing a poo?

Or is that something they don’t do in a public loo, like the ?Andrex advert I saw recently which said something like 43% of people won’t use a public loo to do a poo?

(Lucky for them that they can choose, I thought)

Just asked the husband and he says they do close it for a poo.

You could complain, and say you are unlikely to go there again ...

Please please complain. This seems to be a thing in theatres as a lot of them have received "training" from Mermaids or Gendered Intelligence. But it's horrible for everyone and it won't stop if we don't say something. I recently went to the Kiln theatre which had all genders loos. It was great. The men were all going to one and the women were all going to, or rather queuing up for, the other one🤣

Thanks for your concern for the more sensitive men who are "disconcerted".

Yes. Most gents toilets have very few cubicles (typically one in a large busy pub) and a row of urinals. To cater for both men and women in gender neutral toilets would require many more cubicles. And I don't much like thinking about drunken men being expected to queue as long as women often have to - the more aggressive men would probably just go and pee in the street.

Your last sentence is correct.

Men do have to sit for a dump, you know?