Child excluded for using a ‘dead name’.

[OhForTheLoveOfMoney]

I keep my GC credentials close to my chest but a friend has just told me this and I am so furious I had to share here. (I NC’d for anonymity as this is not my DC).

My friend’s DC has a friend that they have known since primary school. This friend has is now non-binary and changed their name. My friend’s DC, in all innocence, has used the name they have known their friend as for their entire life and has been excluded for dead naming and it has been cited as a hate crime.

FFS.

I doubt that very much

Ludicrous. I wonder if the Safe Schools Alliance might be able to help, or the Free Speech Union.

Doubt it all you like. I don’t know how I can prove it to you but I assure you it’s true.

If the DC in question had been taking the piss, then I would agree with the exclusion but not with a simple error.

Really? I have been in education for 21 years. Never heard of anything like this?

I’ve been in education nearly 3 decades and I bet there’s a lot more to this

My friend and I both work in education too and I agree.

Who excluded them? Do they have an agenda (I mean presumably yes)?

The DC in question is certainly no angel, but it’s still no reason to exclude a child.

21 years ago there was no such thing as a dead name

So there is a lot more to this ?

If this is the UK and England, it won't be "cited as a hate crime". Presumably what has happened is that the school has recorded it and reported it to the LA as a hate incident.

If you trust the report of this situation from your friend, then I would encourage them strongly to make a formal complaint to the school, following their complains policy.

Ah ‘I know he’s no angel’. I wish I had a pound for every time I have had that said to me during my teaching career .

Yeah, it means he's an utter twat and makes teachers lives a misery.

Far more likely that the use of the dead name was intentional bullying, and not likely an isolated incident.

Child is no angel.

What is the rest of the story?

@indianwoman Indeed !

This. No way on earth it was only for this one time using a dead name. It is hard as hell to get children excluded.

They can appeal the decision but there must be a bit more to it than using the wrong name.

Not that I know about. Like I say, the excluded child has been in trouble in the past but even so that has nothing to do with using the wrong name and being told you have committed a hate crime.

There isn’t more to this as far as I know. I can’t say for certain as I wasn’t there. I have taught this child in the past myself, before I knew the mum. I know the difference between a character and a pain in the arse. This child is a character, you knew they were in the class but nothing you couldn’t control.

If this was a case of the ‘dead name’ being used as a bullying tactic then I’d agree but to the best of my knowledge it was a simple mistake.

The child has been told by the school that this is a hate crime and has been internally excluded.

Quite frankly I’m shocked that on this corner of MN people are far more bothered that this child can occasionally be a twat more than a school excluding for the ‘hate crime’ of using the name that a child has been known by all their life.

The school needs to cop on to itself - “deadnaming” isn’t a hate crime. They need to find out what the actual law is - want to bet if they’ve a list of protected characteristics it gives “gender” not “sex” & probably “gender identity” not “gender reassignment”? - & then act within it. Not apply Stonewall Law & discriminate against a load of their students.

I m an it would be classed as bullying, harassment or discrimination. I am sure the teacher has their reasons. Exclusion isn't usually a first option so...

Schools have a duty of care, as you will know. There have been high profile cases that started off exactly like this. Those kids were characters too, just saying.

I think like any other ism there has to be not tolerance.

.

'Deadnaming' is a ridiculous word. Nobody died. This child changed their name. Your friend's DC referred to them by their previous name. I'm sure it happens all the time in schools when a teacher marries and changes their surname, or a child decides to start or stop going by a nickname.

If it was accidental, any disciplinary action would be absurdly punitive.
Deliberately calling someone a name you know they dislike could be bullying behaviour in which case a sanction could be warranted.

In either case the child who went by the previous name is in no way 'dead'. If Teddy thinks his name is babyish and wants to be Ted or Edward instead, that should be respected but it doesn't change the fact that he was once known as Teddy. Demanding others mentally rewrite reality to suit your self-perception is unhealthily controlling.