You are invoking a false equivalence here and you are clearly canny enough to know precisely what you are doing, which places you firmly into 'bad faith argument' territory.
I utterly reject that assertion, and I find it offensive and in bad faith from you yourself.
abuse a member of a minority group by both dismissing their lived reality and knowingly weaponising language that they find harmful.
You are, either intentionally or because of your own bias, missing my point. I'm not placing one over the other. The answer I wanted was not "oh I guess we have to pick the female person then", it was the realisation that as long as we have the same word meaning two things this issue cannot be resolved. It is that, the claim on language itself, that need to be solved.
What you define it as "abuse" is in fact that a marginilised group, in this case women, does not agree to give up its own name, rights, language and autonomy, to accomdate another marginlised group.
When you define this as abuse you are creating a situation where the first group can never have a moral right to assert its own identity and needs as different, its own literal definition, self understanding and experiences as something that does not include the second.
How can this ever be considered reasonable, to literally overwrite people's own understanding of themselves and their own lives becausae you want their language for yourself?
It can't.
You cannot assert a group of people acknowledging real, meaningfully diference to you - not placing any value on that difference but simply acknowledging it exists - is "abuse".
oppression isn't a currency you pay to exempt your own harmful actions
And yet, in your reply, you are doing exactly this by prioritsing your need as a trans woman to be accepted a woman over female people's need to maintain their social, legal and political legitmacy as a single sex class.
The fact you assume your experience as a trans woman is "worse" than the lived reality of women in a sexist society speaks volumes.
If you honestly believe oppression isn't a currency you pay to exempt your own harmful actions, and I hope that you do, then please stop using your experience as a trans woman to justify the harm you do to female people when you redefine our womanhood and reframe lived experiences you have never had in support of your own projections on to us.
Women are not a metaphor for trans women's feelings of alienation from male society and their own male bodies.
My solution, different language for sex and gender, would allow both of us our existence, the truth of our lives and the language to speak of it, and our dignity. Yours does not. Please think about that.