how do we explain why we accept homosexuality as legitimate and beyond question but see transsexuality as a fetish/mental illness/fad/etc.
The difference can be answered by answering the simple question, "Does it affect women's rights?"
Acceptance of homosexuality strengthens women's rights, especially for lesbians. They can openly be in same sex relationships, don't risk having their children removed etc. It only strengthens women's liberation.
Trans ideology is the exact opposite. It weakens women's rights, takes away resources, prioritises male people's wants over women's needs in every single sphere from prisons to sports to lesbian spaces to - yes - crime statistics.
And then those dodgy statistics are used to argue that women are as violent as men and that we don't need those resources for refuges or our own prisons etc etc.
I am also extremely unlikely to go to prison. I've never committed any crimes either, but I do know that women in prison are some of the most vulnerable in the country, many of whom have been through absolute hell before they got there.
So yes, I will advocate for them when trans activists make life even harder for them. That's what feminism is.