My 18 year old says they are trans

[Chillichok]

2 days ago, my 18 year old daughter told me that she is actually a man. They have paid for an online assessment of gender dysphoria which is taking place today, and apparently an officially accepted document of diagnosis.

I am surprised because she has more interest in traditionally female things than I do! I gave her opportunities to try traditionally male things like football as a child but she cried when someone kicked a ball at her! She loved ballet and floaty dresses and make up!

More recently, she had a 2 year sexual relationship with a very heterosexual boy when in 6th form and had to have a coil fitted after a pregnancy scare!

Now, suddenly, she's a man and it's not a fad because she is paying big money to make it happen. She's looking into private top surgery and applying for jobs so she can pay for it!

Has this happened to anyone else? I thought that trans people usually show how different they are from their assigned at birth gender...it's obvious, surely?

OP - read “time to think” the book about the Tavistock and Portman GIDS, you’ll find tje NHS absolutely provided puberty blockers and hormones on a whim and it’s much easier for adults. Please ignore this fella.

OP. I'm ready to be flamed - I don't care - I am going to say this.

Please don't make the mistake of being too 'understanding' and passive. I know it's hard to navigate and that you are doing your best. We all want to support our children and guide them without inflicting our beliefs and wishes on them, but sometimes (and I strongly believe this is one of those times), we also have to protect them from making mistakes by being more vocal and insistent than feels comfortable.

There is a lot of evidence - some has been flagged on this thread - but it's easy enough to find - that tells us how many people go forward in the belief that they are trans for millions of reasons that aren't 'they are trans'. And it's not something that can easily be undone/reversed and even if it is - it leaves scars both mentally and physically.

What I am saying is - do your research and act accordingly. There will be lots of people high-fiving your DD and reinforcing her beliefs, and very few questioning her. And she needs to be challenged, in order to be really certain. You cannot rely on a councillor doing that properly - you have to do it. And maybe - down the line - you will all come to a decision that it is the right plan for her, but please do not let her drift into this by being TOO supportive and silent about the fact that she could be making a terrible mistake.

there is a very long and rigorous program of therapy, discussion and counselling first.

You might think that, but mostly if someone wants that kind of thing they would probably need to seek out and pay for it themselves privately. It’s limited otherwise. I don’t think this is a bad description of the kind of thing that actually happens: https://www.bayswatersupport.org.uk/adult-gender-clinics-a-clinicians-view/. Private assessment would be similar but more compressed.