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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Why are women so complacent re. trans nonsense?

411 replies

JazbayGrapes · 19/01/2024 18:29

I mean, outside GC or radfem circles, i have heard some of the most outrageous things, coming not from the loony left, but seeming well-meaning, semi-conservative women. Like "What is your problem? Can't you just #BeKind?"

  1. Re. sports: "A lesson in inclusion and acceptance for a girl is much more valuable than any trophy. Or maybe your daughter should train harder."

  2. Re. prisons: "That's easy - don't break the law and you'll have nothing to worry about."

  3. Re. homeless shelters: "Imagine being so ungrateful for a roof over your head that you would complaint about trans."

4)Re. public toilets/showers/changing rooms: "If you are such a prude to undress in front of male genitalia, them maybe you should stay home and never go to gyms or swimming pools or etc."

I'm a a loss...

OP posts:
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Ereshkigalangcleg · 19/01/2024 18:30

I think they would just rather not think about it in any way. I can understand that, however unhelpful it is to society.

fedupandstuck · 19/01/2024 18:34

Points one, two and three are showing a lack of knowledge and a lack of interest in ongoing disparities for girls/women.

Point 4... well, actually its lack of empathy and lack of knowledge perhaps too. It's disappointing to know how many people don't really engage their full faculties on this topic.

Peakypolly · 19/01/2024 18:37

Having just finished reading Glinners "Tough Crowd", I am also at a loss. I wish this book was required reading for the women in my life.

puncheur · 19/01/2024 18:38

IME the vast majority are simply unaware of the issue, and for those who are aware it comes at the end of a very long list of worries that are dominated by cost of living, housing, schooling, their children’s futures and crime.

Reallybadidea · 19/01/2024 18:38

Because it doesn't actually affect them (yet). And because they think they're on the right side of history (they're not).

Topofthemountain · 19/01/2024 18:58

The Post office/ Horizon scandal should be proof enough that even the absolute innocent can find themselves behind bars, even when there is no actual crime.

Froodwithatowel · 19/01/2024 19:08

Let them eat cake.

Oh to be so bloody privileged that none of the issues had dawned on me and I didn't have to listen to the kind of bloody awful stuff coming out of the Edinburgh court today. The parroting of the catch phrases and the pretty fig leaves is covering up and enabling some very, very ugly realities.

Hazil · 19/01/2024 19:08

Privilege. They’ve never been in a situation where they’ve felt physically afraid of a man.

That’s why it’s mostly young or rich women who are vocal about agreeing with trans activists, people like Emma Watson. You don’t see many rape victims saying brilliant yes making everything mixed sex sounds great.

JemimaFuddle · 19/01/2024 19:13

There is a certain privilege in this being an issue you can make headspace for.

A lot of women face racism, extreme poverty and a plethora of other issues that mean that their focus is on surviving day to day.

A lot of women recognise that trans ideology is a bad thing but it's a long way down the list of things that they struggle with.

Wellies54 · 19/01/2024 19:16

Because they believe transwomen all genuinely and truly feel that they are women inside. They feel huge sympathy for these gentle people who just want to wear a dress and be accepted into the warm bosom of womanhood. And they know that they are such kind and progressive women that they can be THE ONE who stands up for these poor transwomen and will be rewarded by being a shining example of generosity and open mindedness and receiving the love and gratitude of this tiny marginalised group.

I honestly think some women think like this. They have no clue!

Xoxoxoxoxoxox · 19/01/2024 19:37

The consequences for women are much harsher than for men.
Women work mainly in the Government funded social sector and they have been taken over by trans activists ideas.
Women are more likely to be sacked or disciplined for not complying.
Women - including those in the centre or right of politics have been the main beneficiaries of equality legislation and so so are more likely to automatically be supportive.

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 19/01/2024 19:52

They think they'll be protected as long as they don't rock the boat.

TheAntiGardener · 19/01/2024 19:56

Thankfully, I hear a lot less of this these days. A number of friends and acquaintances have had their eyes opened over the last year or so. Just as well, as I’d struggle not to insult the intelligence of someone who came out with your second example and therefore presumably hadn’t twigged that you could say exactly the same to a TW headed to jail.

Same old scenario of prioritising this one group over women’s concerns, while adding insult to injury by accusing us of hatred/ignorance/being easily led by the right wing.

The tide does seem to be turning on the forced acceptance of trans ideology, but the same base misogyny that allowed it to go as far as it did has gone nowhere. That women are - and must be shamed into being, if necessary - the kind, accommodating and passive half of humanity is part of that.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2024 20:01

Like the PP's said. Privilege. Women who thankfully haven't been raped, put into a prison or competed in a sport won't know the detrimental effects TW have on these. Privilege that they don't know they possess.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 19/01/2024 20:02

They think they'll be protected as long as they don't rock the boat.

Exactly, and they can only maintain this when they don't think about it, so they bat it away.

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 19/01/2024 20:11

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2024 20:01

Like the PP's said. Privilege. Women who thankfully haven't been raped, put into a prison or competed in a sport won't know the detrimental effects TW have on these. Privilege that they don't know they possess.

Many are aware of this privilege, it's lacking the empathy to see past your own experiences that's the issue.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2024 20:17

@CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment yes, true.

MrsGalloway · 19/01/2024 20:25

I’ve found this as well from some people who’ve really surprised me by not even slightly acknowledging there might be some conflict with self ID and women’s rights. These are highly educated women who would absolutely regard themselves as feminists.

Equally I’ve been surprised by others who I would have thought would be full on TWAW who have been very much the opposite.

I feel that some people live in a complete bubble, when I mentioned an article in the telegraph, one of my #BeKind friends said oh good god I’d never read that. They don't, they read the Guardian and BBC only and follow all the “right” people on Twitter.

PriOn1 · 19/01/2024 20:36

Wellies54 · 19/01/2024 19:16

Because they believe transwomen all genuinely and truly feel that they are women inside. They feel huge sympathy for these gentle people who just want to wear a dress and be accepted into the warm bosom of womanhood. And they know that they are such kind and progressive women that they can be THE ONE who stands up for these poor transwomen and will be rewarded by being a shining example of generosity and open mindedness and receiving the love and gratitude of this tiny marginalised group.

I honestly think some women think like this. They have no clue!

This is the only half decent answer I could sort of understand.

I had a long discussion on a forum where I occasionally discuss things with others from my profession. It’s a science based profession where sex is important and you’d assume most ought to take a logical view and I’d say there were more of us arguing the view that so-called “transwomen” are men and don’t belong in women’s spaces ever than were making transactivist arguments.

There was one younger man who was very TWAW, but without making anny real points and that didn’t surprise me. He’s always seemed left wing and idealistic and probably was in the “hasn’t really thought about it hard and thinks he supports women’s rights in theoretical terms without listening to women” group.

The one that shocked me was a woman about my age, perhaps a bit younger, who was vehemently in favour of gender identity replacing sex in all circumstances.

We discussed Will Thomas’s actions in women’s swimming and invasion of the changing room. To my shock, she actually gave point 1 and said that if her daughter was in the situation of those young women, she would expect her to embrace the situation and understand that including Thomas was more important than winning.

I cannot imagine, as a mother, ever being such a surrendered woman that I would ever put any selfish man over my daughter, but she said she would.

Honestly, I’m angry just thinking about it. If my daughter came to me in distress because there was a man with an erection in the changing room and unfairly beating her in the swimming pool when she’d spent her life working towards that goal, I would not in a million years let her down by siding with the man. How betrayed would the daughter feel in those circumstances?

I’d better stop now, but really it was an eye opener for me that a woman I previously thought fairly reasonable was completely in thrall to the trans agenda. I cannot understand her position in the slightest.

AmethystSparkles · 19/01/2024 20:56

You’re right that the issue shouldn’t be ignored.

However, you must surely understand that there are many mothers on here with trans teenagers who feel alienated by the anti trans brigade on here? I’m not one of them btw.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 19/01/2024 21:07

AmethystSparkles · 19/01/2024 20:56

You’re right that the issue shouldn’t be ignored.

However, you must surely understand that there are many mothers on here with trans teenagers who feel alienated by the anti trans brigade on here? I’m not one of them btw.

What's anti-trans? Do you have any examples?

ItsFunToBeAVampire · 19/01/2024 21:14

Because they don't think it will affect them. Simple as that.

They all know TWANW btw, they're just happy to lie about it to #bekind.

RueTroussevache · 19/01/2024 21:20

CheeseSandwichRiskAssessment · 19/01/2024 19:52

They think they'll be protected as long as they don't rock the boat.

"I didn't think the leopards would eat my face", after voting for the "Leopards eating people's faces party".

TheLonelyStarbucksLovers · 19/01/2024 21:21

I think for some women who are left wing politically there’s a tendency to automatically side with who they perceive to be the underdog.

And at a glance it can appear that trans people are the underdog - they’re a minority, they face particular struggles etc. And so a well meaning leftie who’s not actually stopped to think through the complexity of the issue can fall into this way of thinking.

Wellies54 · 19/01/2024 21:42

@AmethystSparkles As a parent you have a responsibility to make judgements in the way you care for your child. It is terrifying when your child is experiencing distress and you don't know what to do but you have to do your best to protect them. Children are being groomed into thinking they need to alter their bodies in harmful and irreversible ways and there has to be support to enable parents to find a way through this and to resist allowing this to happen. They must be empowered to say 'NO'.

It is not anti trans to speak about this. It is our responsibility to say loudly and clearly that to lie to children that they can change sex is wrong. We must be clear that there is an alternative and we must counter the harmful narrative that children will be happier if they 'transition'. It has to become socially unacceptable to say that you think your child is 'questioning their gender'.

I feel sorry for parents who were bullied or coerced into following that path but we must limit the future harm to children by speaking the truth.