Everyone scarper, the rozzers are coming

[ArabellaScott]

Dawn Butler's called the polis on us! Quick everyone, namechange and look busy.

https://twitter.com/DawnButlerBrent/status/1737853431413657806

Identical twins?

I'm not going to post a picture and you can't make me

Yeah, but I'm the pretty one!

Where on earth are kent police? How rude, I have been expecting you all evening

Goes without saying.

I'm in Canada; does the long arm on the Met stretch this far, or can I expect the RCMP galumphing up to the house?

Sarge: Where do you lads think you're going?
Constable: Mumsnet, sir. The Labour Party has told us to arrest them.
Sarge: What's the charge?
Constable: Thinking, I think sir.
Sarge: What, just thinking, or thinking clever?
Constable: Probably a bit of both sir.
Sarge: What about talking?
Constable: Yeah they do a lot of that sir, quite careless.
Sarge: Careless talk costs lives. Don't they know there's a war on?
Constable: I reckon they probably do, sir.

I'm really sorry. This is the closest thing I could find to a gay giraffe.

He's on his way

Feeling quite prepared having recently done Brownie Camp. Revolting mass catering 3 x a day (tick), patrolling the cells at night (tick), keeping inmates happy with 20 year-old magazines and annuals from the eighties (tick), daily enforced walk for 20 minutes (tick). At least I am not going to be forced by Brown Owl to wear a too-small standard issue child's t-shirt or read everyone a night-time story "with all the funny voices as you are really good at those Mummy".

or can I expect the RCMP galumphing up to the house?

Yes, I'm sure there must be some sort of special relationship.

Lol

😂

Anyone else put their nice pyjamas on in case of a night/early morning arrest?

I might have to post on the Style and Beauty forum for top makeup tips for a mugshot.

I have standards.....though I can't hear the sirens just yet. Maybe I have time to slap on a face mask?

https://media1.giphy.com/media/wAbtBi7nm3hfpbQOaN/200w.gif?cid=6c09b952ehtqjgjacjba8q5jxzjbodpls9jvehjfl1ui1rwp&ep=v1gifss_search&rid=200w.gif&ct=g

Even the guardian doesnt think 90% of giraffes are gay https://www.theguardian.com/science/shortcuts/2019/oct/29/99-per-cent-giraffes-gay-loving-looks-misunderstood

You lot have had me reading up on mallard sex - when the rozzers investigate my internet history they are going to love that. I'm never going to mention getting your ducks in a row again..

https://twitter.com/HadleyFreeman/status/1737974696300143087?s=19

"God bless @MumsnetTowers.
Proof that there is nothing more scary to some people than smart and funny women"

Wasn't me, was another caveman.

Is there a rule that any threads in FWR over 10 pages will include references to duck sex?!! 😂 (I skimmed so I'm hoping the bloody dolphins weren't mentioned)

Run run as fast as you can Dawnie 👋

"Name and address and where d'ye stay?"

You lot have had me reading up on mallard sex - when the rozzers investigate my internet history they are going to love that. I'm never going to mention getting your ducks in a row again..

Have you found the infamous Ignoble Prize involving mallards yet? Here's a piece which summarises this, and more...

arstechnica.com/science/2023/06/dead-duck-day-marks-that-time-a-scientist-witnessed-gay-duck-necrophilia/

Hide, hide, hide

It's the FWR version of six degrees of separation. Any subject over enough pages can be connected to duck sex!

Pssst … you ain’t seen me, right?

I can't stop laughing at the lads on Twitter who believe that a parenting forum, made up of mainly women and mothers, must have been brainwashed or 'radicalized' into knowing that biological sex is a real thing.

If anyone wants to help me dig a moat I plan to fill it with jelly, custard and sprinkles.
Foolish people deserve to be trifled with.