How do we find a middle ground?

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How do we find a place where it’s ok to say we believe their are transsexual people (in my lifetime it’s always been around and as far as I am aware not particularly fought against/prevented people accessing services/given equal rights) generally these people (who I totally support and would advocate for) appeared to me to want to go under the radar and just live their lives. I’d have NO issues sharing a bathroom with these people.

What shifted? Why is it now a case that we are bullied into accepting a man (with a beard who in every way looks and acts like a man) as a woman?

I thought in the 90s we accepted that what you wear, your hobbies, who you slept with and career choice did not define you. I was never girlie, wore boys jeans but at no point did I think I was a boy or prevented progressing my life.

We now have men that define themselves as women by going backwards in stereotypes, basically the clothes define the man.

The levels of irony baffle me ‘sex doesn’t exist, but if I wear heels I’m a woman’ ‘don’t assume or judge, but if you don’t assume correctly I’ll punch you’ and my favourite ‘I’m a non-binary lesbian’

The ironic thing is (and sorry if this offends anyone) I never coined myself as a feminist. I genuinely thought the previous amazing women had won the war, I earned equally or out earned my male counterparts, I never felt being a women provided me different opportunities to my brother, if anything maybe a tiny advantage.

But now I feel that all that has been pointless and at 41 I’ve become a feminist because I NEED too. Is this not such a rewind in society. I was genuinely a little nervous today at taking a book to the counter (material girls) a bloody (amazing) book, but a book.

How do we rationalise this?

Sorry for the long post but I am genuinely lost at the next steps to take.

I’m chalking this one up as a win.

I don’t believe any of you would deny a desperate trans woman access to a ladies loo - just the once - if she was desperate for a number 2 and the men’s loos were out of order.

Have a great day all!

Could it be any clearer by now?

Dream on with your fantasy hypothesis

Ah damn

What part of this are you missing? Do you think women have not been “desperate - touching cloth” and not still used the male toilets but used the women’s toilets by waiting for one to be free. After asking all the other women if they can push ahead.

Should be

What part of this are you missing? Do you think women have not been “desperate - touching cloth” and still not used the male toilets but used the women’s toilets by waiting for one to be free. After asking all the other women if they can push ahead.

I transposed my still and not.

Why? We have all said no.

Fuck you are off the planet on this one. I think you do honestly believe you presented a zinger ‘gotcha’!

I think you will realise that no, you just delivered another turd of an argument.

Another dead in the water sealion attempt.

I'd say the middle ground is somewhere between matt walsh and Posie Parker tbh

GoadessOfThunder seems very shit-and-penis-obsessed. What weird fetishes men cleave to. You’d think he’d keep it quiet.

Must admit though that I'm feeling very judgemental about this bloke who must know he has an over-reactive gut and an unusually uncontrollable sphincter and who still chose to eat that vindaloo before a day when he had to be out of the house early. A little personal responsibility and thinking like an adult would have prevented the situation from arising.

Certainly not someone I'd want in a cubicle I or any other woman has to use later.

Jeez, if we're not letting in one of your mythical, fragrant, unassuming, de-penised, passing transwoman, we're sure as shit not letting in some staggering piss head covered in crap.

Has anyone here ever had an egg vindaloo?

What was it like?

For clarity, I mean going in, not coming out.

Surely eggs are binding?

It’s what my Nana always said.

Because they got to shit all over the thread, and try to wind up some women. Perhaps not quite grasping that many of us spend a lot of time dealing with literal shit, including toddlers making jokes about bums and willies and poos.

These are the people who are insisting that women are not allowed boundaries.
Kucinghitam has it upthread. These are not people we want to share spaces with.

In case anyone was really looking for middle ground - consider what is the 'middle ground' of allowing fetishists and males with paraphilias into women's spaces?

Because they got to shit all over the thread, and try to wind up some women

And that's why women get to make up their own rules about the spaces they are in.

I've got two scenarios where a male could legitimately be in the women's toilets:

1. Someone in the toilets needs urgent medical attention and the attending paramedic/first aider is male.

1. The toilets need cleaning/maintenance and the staff member responsible is male. But in this case I'd expect to see one of those yellow signs warning you left outside while they were in there.

But that certainly doesn't then make it ok for any old male to stroll in any time it takes their fancy.

I've had egg curry (not Vindaloo) in an Indian restaurant above a hotel in the Strand that was like stepping back to a 1920s colonial service canteen. It was quite nice, but tasted like time travel as much as the surroundings looked like it. The eggs were hard boiled, and quartered.

I wonder if the restaurant is still there. If felt out of place even 20 years ago, so I can't imagine it surviving this long - but I hope it has.

I just googled egg vindaloo - it looks quite nice but has too much chilli for me. I might make a toned down version tomorrow.

I'll stay home until after the spirit moves me.

Did she mean you can use them for glue? I have done that to stick paper to paper at a pinch. And you use it to stick flowers to pastry and icing too, well I have.

Or did she mean 'binding' in a gastro sense? Like bananas are and the opposite to oranges?

Oh! It is still there. And egg curry is still on the menu.

https://www.theindiaclub.co.uk/menu

I’m chalking this one up as a win.

So women are all saying NO. But you are hearing yes or maybe? 😳

PP got their jollies and is off.

Oh, in the “binding up your whole gut and bringing it to a standstill” sense, it was her answer to all stomach bugs. I didn’t know about its use as an adhesive!

Yes. Shit doesn't scare us.

Thanks Arabella. Just another thing that this poster doesn't seem to realise about the female lived experience.

This thread really turned out to be a fantasy for somebody, that is for sure. Maybe screenshots like this are a turn on for diaper fetishists. And we all know what sex those people tend to be and that they mostly identify as girls. Although there is that one person who is female who identifies as a man who identifies as a baby girl and wears slogans such as 'baby slut'... That is one individual who needs plenty of therapy I would suggest.

I want to go to the India Club now!

We had that second one at one place of employment years ago, and the man contracted to do the cleaning was an abusive p3rv3. As soon as the powers that be copped to that they barred him from entering the women's loos, but he still tried it on (he used to carry a loo brush around with him as though it was a magic wand granting him access). I remember one occasion when he cornered one of my colleagues - luckily the office cleaner had been keeping an eye on him, and with two against one he retreated, though he had already started getting handsy and his victim was very upset.

Foul man, very smelly as well as creepy, the other blokes loathed him coming into the gents as well, and his habit of putting the loo brush down beside them at their work stations and trying to engage them in chat. Luckily eventually he broke enough of the rules he'd been given written warnings about that they could get rid of him.

He is one of many reasons I distrust men who try to access women's facilities.