Trans Widows' Escape Committee 6: The Next Generation

[TinselAngel]

Welcome to thread 6.

This is a support area for women who are, or have been, in unhappy relationships with male partners who are transitioning, or exploring their "gender identity"

If you are in that position-

1. You are not alone
2. It is not a situation that you should be expected to tolerate, let alone celebrate.
3. There is always a way out, if you want it. The thread is called Escape Committee for a reason.

Remember: women talking to each other is a powerful weapon!

The main event this year outisde the thread will hopefully be the release of Vaishnavi Sundar's film about Trans Widows- Behind the Looking Glass

If you would like to donate to help Vaishnavi finish the project, details are here:

Please feel free to say "Hi" below, even if you are not a trans widow, to start the thread off.

I forgot to post on here that I've seen a draft of Vaishnavi's trans widow film "Behind the Looking Glass". It brilliant and it going to be released very soon.

Is it fiction or a documentary?

It's a documentary. Some of the women here have contributed.

Trailer 1

Trailer 2

Possible tw --
Hey everyone! I'm sadly another trans widow..our entire marriage was tumultuous but decided he was trans Nov last year, after getting arrested for putting his hands on me & other issues...
I didn't give a statement because I knew at that point I just wanted out.
I'm from America, but live in the UK on a spouse visa because my husband is British. I only work part time, he's the breadwinner - but because over the years he tried to make me feel bad for picking up shifts.

I've grown up around healthcare professionals and was on my way to getting a nursing degree. But when we met I used all my savings to see him multiple times a year before my spouse visa.

Because of growing up around people who love healthcare - anatomy, biology, pharmacology, and psychology. It feels like biting my tongue off when he brings some sort of trans ideology crap to me. I can't ignore what I know is reality to feed his delusions. He also has bipolar, unmedicated, and thinks being trans cured it so he's not bipolar

I'm trying my hardest to save to get out of here. Sadly it's not easy as my support back in the US are not financially able to support me, but thats alright. I look back and realize I didn't know who I was with, and I definitely don't know who I'm living with now.

I came upon this thread as it was recommended on twitter/x. So I'm sorry if this isn't where i should put this.

Hi @kdunkin44 sorry to hear what you are going through.

Do you have to continue to live with him until you can afford to go back to the USA? I'd suggest prioritising your own immediate wellbeing. Given his history of mental illness, things are only likely to get more messy.

PS- don't worry about trigger warnings! If we did we'd never post anything

@TinselAngel

I think your website is name checked, in a positive way, at approx 2.20, thought you might be interested.

Gah! She gets the URL wrong! But thanks for letting me know anyway

Could you add a correction in the comments and ask her to pin it?

I done that on Twitter but yes you're right I should also do it on YouTube.

It's quite a good summary.

It's Fathers' Day in the UK today and I wanted to send good thoughts and admiration to all the women who've come onto this thread who are holding things together for their children while their fathers pursue self-absorbed identity projects. It's really hard work effectively being both parents but your children will remember what you did.
And of course for the great fathers we have or had in our lives, they are to be celebrated....

A salutary tale here for women who stay, you'll even be a supporting character in your own obituary.

archive.ph/pEmVp

That obit is so depressing. I feel so sorry for her daughter reading that summing up of the parent that actually parented.
Wouldn't it be amazing if the trans person biog was written in exactly the same way, trumpeting their partner's character and achievement.

It just shows that the trans woman was always a man and everyone knew it.

I'd rather not have an obituary at all than have one that's all about somebody else.

Agreed. That was depressing to read. Poor woman.

Yes it's a tale of Me Me Me to the very end...

Excerpts from Trans Widows film, which is coming out very soon!

This rang some bells

Midlife crisis: this is the script! www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1527705-Midlife-crisis-this-is-the-script

Release date for Trans Widows Film "Behind The Looking Glass" www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/5144147-release-date-for-trans-widows-film-behind-the-looking-glass

Have cleared the day for Sunday 1st Sept to watch and digest with tissues, notepad and probably wine and ice cream... have just listened to her appearance on Gender: A Wider Lens.

Wine is a good idea