I chased a man out of the changing rooms ----

[betterchange]

M+S, ladies'underwear section. It's all cubicles and to be fair, nowhere does it say that it is a women-only changing room, but I think it's likely to be seen as such by most users since it's in the bra-and-knicker-selling section of the shop and there are other changing rooms elsewhere!

A woman came out of one of the changing rooms whilst I was queueing and beckoned a man in. I said, I'm sorry, I don't think you should go in there, this is for women trying on underwear. The woman queried this but I stuck to my guns and the woman behind me in the queue backed me up; the man apologised and left. (It probably helped that they sounded as though English wasn't their first language so they may not have known the "rules"! I think it was a genuine misreading/mistake on their part.)

Anyway, no harm done, but it made me think - that was easy, but if it had been a very obvious man-dressed-as-a-woman, I'm far from sure that I would have felt able to speak out.

In that situation (the man-dressed-as-woman), would anyone here have said anything?

Gold star for bravery.

Well done OP. It's great that women like you are speaking out. Re a man wearing women's clothes, I'd definitely say something in the place where women are having bras fitted.

Let M & S be open & explain why they welcome men into lingerie changing rooms - especially given the data about risks to women and girls in mixed sex spaces.

You are a heroine OP, once one woman speaks up it empowers others like the woman behind you to speak up. And stop this .
It's exactly why the TRAs have punished and isolated women so furiously, but the times they are a changin'
Begone men!!

I buy online. I’d be too scared to challenge a male in ladies changing area. I’ve left a communal changing area in a swimming pool when a male was there. Just put my clothes over my swimsuit and left.

You did the right thing.

Hats off to you. I think we need to call people out.

I hope I would. Though I would be scared, because I feel that most people who are behaving in that way have a tendency towards arguing ( or worse) with women.

I am dreading the day I am faced with this sort of situation. Whenever we travel, I expect it to happen in an airport,but so far so good.

Apart from anything else, I struggle to keep a straight face sometimes, and worry about laughing and giving offence unintentionally. I can't be the only one, surely?

Well done. I wish I had spoken up recently in M&S when a bloke was sitting in the middle of the women’s changing room on a sofa whilst his wife or partner kept coming out to show him, discussing the pros and cons of this style in that colour and should she ask if they could order it and blah blah blah. I wanted to scream at the pair of them, him to fuck off out and her to grow up and act like an actual autonomous human with her own brain cells.

Well done.

I was in a women’s lingerie shop recently, and there was a man sitting outside one of the changing room cubicles (there is a long bench opposite) looking bored scrolling his phone. He was presumably waiting for his partner who was trying on underwear. However, his presence made me really uncomfortable. The fact that he had his phone out even more so.

But I didn’t have the guts to say anything. I have been thinking about it a lot since then and really wish that I spoke up.

Neither my DF nor DH even enter lingerie stores as they feel that they’ll make the other women uncomfortable.

His Mrs should have known better - he was beckoned in, not many men ignore such request from their partners

Changing rooms should be better designed

I hate that M and S don't label their changing rooms. My local shop has the same problem and gets men making the same mistake.

Well done OP. More of us should feel brave enough to do so.

I could never do this in M&S.

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(Because I’ve been boycotting them for years ever since they opened up their changing rooms to pervs and fetishists, and were rude and patronising in their reply to the email I sent to complain about the policy change.)

Well done OP.

I would be fuming especially if it was my 13 year old daughter. Young teens may not have the confidence to speak up in these situations but they should not be subjected to it. If we allow this to happen it just opens doors for more lines to be crossed.
Soon we will have a free for all changing room and toilets. I just can't get on board with any of it.

I buy NOTHING from M&S now that I have learned there is an online forum where men talk about wanking on underwear and putting it back on the rails.

I'd need a vat of luminol and a UV light to go near any of it.

Well done OP
Why would any woman allow a man to accompany her into the female changing area.
Fucking traitors.

What the ever living fuck…? The depths that some men will sink to never fails to dismay me.

I personally would not chase a man out of a cubicled changing room section that wasn't clearly designated as for women only, no.

I have resolved that should I ever come across any man in a women's changing room I will call them out and scream loudly if needed.
We all need to get our BIG girl pants on and banish these males from our spaces.
I've asked OH to set aside bail money for the eventuality...😂

Not even if it's in the lingerie section of a store?

It’s not a mistake. Men are welcome in the lingerie changing rooms at M+S. I’ve boycotted them ever since they started it.

check out the moderated reviews on women’s underwear on their site —if you want to see your lunch again—. Men in women’s clothing is exactly what M+S wants.

I wouldn’t challenge a man dressed like a woman, no.
I’ve seen plenty of videos of the “IT’S MA’AM!” kind to know how dangerous it is.

Also this.

Keep her out of Primark as well then. And (I think) Next. Maybe H+M too.

That's very kind of you.