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Original poster

Struggling to support JK Rowling…

144 replies

NitroNine · 01/08/2023 01:10

…because what sort of actual monster wants coffee [& walnut] cake for their birthday cake?

She even boasted about this [book-themed] bakery beastliness on Twitter.

It was surprise!cake, but clearly not in a Cake Roulette sort of surprise!cake way. Am shaken to my very core & clearing my diary for mad angry crying & performative packing-up of Potterphenalia.

I’m just not sure how to cope with this disturbance to the magical world. I mean, coffee cake. <shakes head sadly>

However, while I consider my position, I’m willing to be gracious & offer JKR birthday wishes as well as Superior Cake. It’s not as if people just have varying tastes & opinions or anything, after all, right? Oh & happy birthday to Harry Potter, too, who obviously doesn’t need to attend the cake reeducation course, because of course he agrees with me.

(Little late - courtesy of internet issues - & indeed little/lot silly. Not inspired by any specific individual, but rather the reflection even now, as support for JKR is trending there are people throwing wobblies because she is a real person with thoughts & feelings & opinions she expresses. And she doesn’t respond to demands/threats/tantrums so people make ridiculous claims about what the characters she wrote [would] think…)

https://twitter.com/jk_rowling/status/1686024491086798848?s=46&t=MY1IHKVfeDY_1v4HEEVDfA

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
PronounsBaby · 01/08/2023 01:48

I love coffee and walnut cake, as long as it's not iced....OhmyGod the horror... Spits on ground and builds bonfire

What is your superior cake out of interest?

miri1985 · 01/08/2023 01:59

When I read your post OP, I thought coffee and walnut makes me love her even more. Then I saw the monstrosity, fondant icing on a coffee and walnut cake makes me question everything

Boiledbeetle · 01/08/2023 02:37

Ooh coffee and walnut cake you say!

Woah.....

What the hell is that?

Who puts Christmas cake icing (can you tell I'm not a cook) on coffee and walnut cake?

That is wrong on so many levels.

So why do I want a piece?

I'm disgusted with myself right now!

Struggling to support JK Rowling…
maybebalancing · 01/08/2023 02:51

Coffee and walnut is a very classy and retro choice.
There is no excuse for the fondant icing but I like to think that that was the surprise element.

NotBadConsidering · 01/08/2023 03:24

Have you actually read what she wrote tried such a cake OP? Maybe when you’ve had a piece of iced coffee and walnut cake you’d like to return to tell us how wrong JKR is? They never do

PriOn1 · 01/08/2023 04:40

I love coffee walnut cake, but never get it as nobody else in my family likes it.

So I’ll be keeping all my Potterphanalia thanks!

MaggieBsBoat · 01/08/2023 04:49

Coffee walnut should be buttercream for sure.
The outrage!!!!

MrsTerryPratchett · 01/08/2023 04:52

maybebalancing · 01/08/2023 02:51

Coffee and walnut is a very classy and retro choice.
There is no excuse for the fondant icing but I like to think that that was the surprise element.

SURPRISE! I ruined your cake.

Form over function. That's a useful phrase.

RocketPanda · 01/08/2023 06:48

A big no to coffee and walnut. I like coffee and I like walnuts but not in a cake. Similarly I don't like those biscoff biccies but christ do they make excellent cheesecake base.

Igneococcus · 01/08/2023 06:51

I love coffee and walnut cake. I'm even planning to make one for dp's birthday later in the year. I won't let any fondant icing near it though, or near any of the cakes I make/eat.

BezMills · 01/08/2023 06:53

I prefer a victoria sponge. (misses point, woosh)

GreeboIsMySpiritAnimal · 01/08/2023 06:55

I adore coffee and walnut cake. And chocolate-covered coffee beans.

DiabolicalFinial · 01/08/2023 07:04

Does anyone have a favourite recipe for coffee and walnut cake? I’m off to hospital again on Thursday, and whenever I get home again, I now know just the thing to bake!

cuckyplunt · 01/08/2023 07:06

DH always as coffee and walnut cake.. although sometimes it identifies as a lemon drizzle cake.. despite the nuts🤨

Yirk · 01/08/2023 07:09

And yet she always came across as a lovely lemon drizzle fan to me, hope it was a great birthday JKR🎂🍷

Random789 · 01/08/2023 07:14

Phew! Was suckered by your thread title and thought she had said that poodles should be tortured or something. So that every time I claimed that sex was real and binary someone would say 'Oh, so you're fine with poodle torturing then?'

bellinisurge · 01/08/2023 07:21

I despise cake in all its forms and I am sick...SICK.. I tell you .. of people imposing THEIR idea of what a birthday celebration should be.

BabyStopCryin · 01/08/2023 07:23

I made coffee and walnut for DHs birthday. It was bloody lovely. DS had a pistachio one.

lordloveadog · 01/08/2023 07:23

I was very happy because I love c&w and now if she comes round for tea one day I shall know what to feed her.

Igneococcus · 01/08/2023 07:25

Pistachio, you say @BabyStopCryin Is there a recipe?
I bought a massive jar of pistachio butter from a middle Eastern shop in Edinburgh last week. I'm pondering what exciting baking I can do with it.

Slothtoes · 01/08/2023 07:27

I love C&W and JKR remains my spirit animal. So long as that disgusting fondant icing was peeled off and left to the side of the plate where it belongs. Acceptance with some exceptions chez Sloth.

Boiledbeetle · 01/08/2023 07:29

bellinisurge · 01/08/2023 07:21

I despise cake in all its forms and I am sick...SICK.. I tell you .. of people imposing THEIR idea of what a birthday celebration should be.

So, as a cake despiser (that's a terrible affliction to have, my thoughts and prayers are with you) what do you suggest (I'm with you in the cake despising corner if its lemon drizzle). A chicken wing for each year of age? A hamster jumping out of a pretend cake with a radish in its teeth? Marmite covered crackers laid out to spell your name?

What is the preferred option for cake despisers? I presume you are here to represent the total cake deniers.

AlisonDonut · 01/08/2023 07:32

I love coffee and walnut cake, with or without icing and with if pushed, coffee ice cream.

Florissante · 01/08/2023 07:35

JKR just went up in my estimation. I am not sure about the fondant icing, though. However, she is such a wonderful person I shall forgive her this transgression.

borntobequiet · 01/08/2023 07:45

I rather fancy making a cake, it will definitely be coffee and walnut. Very strong fresh espresso coffee in the mix really makes a difference.