Struggling to support JK Rowling…

[NitroNine]

…because what sort of actual monster wants coffee [& walnut] cake for their birthday cake?

She even boasted about this [book-themed] bakery beastliness on Twitter.

It was surprise!cake, but clearly not in a Cake Roulette sort of surprise!cake way. Am shaken to my very core & clearing my diary for mad angry crying & performative packing-up of Potterphenalia.

I’m just not sure how to cope with this disturbance to the magical world. I mean, coffee cake. <shakes head sadly>

However, while I consider my position, I’m willing to be gracious & offer JKR birthday wishes as well as Superior Cake. It’s not as if people just have varying tastes & opinions or anything, after all, right? Oh & happy birthday to Harry Potter, too, who obviously doesn’t need to attend the cake reeducation course, because of course he agrees with me.

(Little late - courtesy of internet issues - & indeed little/lot silly. Not inspired by any specific individual, but rather the reflection even now, as support for JKR is trending there are people throwing wobblies because she is a real person with thoughts & feelings & opinions she expresses. And she doesn’t respond to demands/threats/tantrums so people make ridiculous claims about what the characters she wrote [would] think…)

What is wrong with some people? Walnut and coffee, and weetabix and carrot? I've peaked Shit Cake mountain - no, thank you.

well that looks amazing

I shall be making that one

It is totally delish and guests always ask for seconds. I use dark chocolate for the base rather than milk chocolate and add a bit of kahlua liquer to make it more adult.

If anything merits book burnings it's fondant icing on a coffee and walnut cake.

The chocolate and coffee mousse cake, on the other hand, looks amazing and will be all-the-better as my husband won't eat any coffee-flavoured dessert so I can have it all to myself.

I love love love coffee and walnut cake. And I love it iced BUT with coffee flavoured buttercream, not fondant!

Always knew she's one awesome woman. My absolute favourite is coffee and pecan (not so keen on walnuts) cake. Hope she has a great birthday 🥳 dd has just discovered HP books (dd has SEN and really struggles with reading, but I've actually had to nag her to stop reading so she eats something!)

I am addicted to coffee but I absolutely despise anything coffee flavoured. There is nothing more vile than coffee cake. As for the Fondant icing another abomination.
I love walnuts in carrot cake though.

That cake is an edible example of the idiom

"Don't judge a book by it's cover".

But I'm going to judge anyway.

Coffee ice cream is the worst flavour ever.

That is even more wrong than Tunnocks lasagne would be. Buttercream with walnuts shoved in is the only topping.
Likewise weetabix in carrot cake????? Carrot cake with cream cheeses icing is the food of gods why the hell would weetabix even be in the same room?

You are me and I claim my £5!

Do you occasionally play Revels roulette or do you shun them completely for allowing the abomination to taint the packet at all?

I adore coffee cake but the icing is all wrong.

Sorry if anyone has law has posted it but while we are on a JKR thread I came across this in twitter just now - a list of schools that cancelled JKR and renamed houses that had been named after HP houses.

twitter.com/lottiehistory/status/1686056294367612928?s=46

My DM made the best coffee and walnut cake - and it had coffee fudge icing. That was delicious.

Are you serious? It’s delicious!

Coffee cake would be a good place to hide a horcrux.

No one, I mean no one, in their right mind would seek one out.

I find a lot of people regard fondant icing as a decorative wrapping to the actual cake. So they look at the whole thing, take photos, light and blow out candles, then peel off the fondant wrapping and eat the inside bit.

Because you can't really put iced writing or pictures on buttercream, it's not a practical artistic medium.

Dd doesn’t do cake. Her birthday treat is posh olives. They’re a bugger to get to stand up with candles in, despite the natural candle holder hole.

It’s nice to see there is another person out there with the correct opinion of coffee flavoured foods.

Revels are completely tainted and so are not an acceptable choice at all. Even thinking about the last sweet in the pack being coffee flavoured fills me with dread.

JUST BECAUSE ITS GOT NUTS DISNAE MEAN IT CANNAE BE A VICTORIA SPONGE

Could be worse. Could be carrot cake

There you go again Nicola trying to wedge in some nuts where they don't belong

Erm! I hate to be the one to break this to you...but those holes...they're not natural.

Don't hate me.

I'm the only person in my house that likes coffee, so a whole cake....I mean I do my best but the icing is usually very sweet. That cake recipe upthread looks amazing. Can it be eaten by one person?

Tunnocks lasagne? Mmmm... layer cooked pasta with marshmallowy mousse, a scant amount of chocolate, and squidgy biscuit. More of a sweet kugel than a savoury dish. But I could go with that.

I mean, if JKR can eat coffee and want cake covered in fondant...

They’re natural by the time they get to me via the destoning factory .
Any cake can be eaten by one person, have faith in yourself