Concerned teacher - 8yo 'trans' child

[EtherealAurora]

NC for this.

A family recently moved to my school. There is a 9yo girl and her 'brother', an 8yo 'boy' who is actually a girl. Staff are to call the 'boy' David (obvs not real name) and use pronouns he/him etc. Children in the class are NOT to be told this is a girl.

Currently, children use mixed sex toilets. However, from September, the class will be split to change for PE into girls and boys.

I am not comfortable with a girl changing in a room full of boys. I think if I suggest they change in another space (eg toilets) this would cause questions to be asked by other children in the class, potentially 'outing' the child. What would be a sensible suggestion for me to make to SLT in this instance?

What would be a sensible suggestion for me to make to SLT in this instance?

I'd frame it as a question ... "what do you think will happen when the boys realise that 'David' is a girl as a result of changing in the boys' area and how will you deal with this?".

I thought affirmation had recently been ruled out by the DOE.

Do the parents really believe that the boys ( and girls) don’t know ?

Yes framing as a question sounds useful. I am not sure how to approach it in the first instance as this won't be my class. I suppose I raise it as a general safeguarding concern?

From what I can see, 'David' is treated as a boy by the other children in the class. I would say 'passes' as a boy.

Yeah, trying to keep this kind of thing a secret impacts the other children as well as the one concerned about 'outing'.

And what happens when this child starts to get to puberty? That's going to be pretty 'outing', I would say.

I can definitely see how at 8 (i.e pre-puberty) children couldn't tell. Short hair and a boy's name is enough.

I know a pre-pubescent boy from a club I volunteer with who likes Barbie dolls and pink and has long hair. He is a boy with a boy's name and adults are still baffled when I refer to him as such.

As to the OP, I would start with throwing the problem back to SLT as mentioned by asking what will happen as the child gets older. I would also look up the current guidance around affirmation etc so you have some backing of and when you need to push harder for this child's safety.

It looks as if the new guidelines (finally scheduled to be released next week) will give some guidance - no mixed sex changing rooms / toilets and (if the Telegraph are correct) schools to be encouraged to work with parents to safeguard their children rather than to ally with dodgy adult queer theory groups. I'd suggest that the school takes a close look at the guidelines to work out how to manage this.
Of course what isn't addressed is how to manage parents who are openly transitioning their own children. And as the guidelines are for consultation it will take a while for them to embed.

Children are very curious and can be really perceptive so I wonder how the school plans to reign in what comes naturally to them (and indeed what is actually part of the school’s role: to encourage children to be curious and ask questions)?

I think the school is overstepping ethical boundaries in asking the parents to collude in the collective gaslighting of 30 children. If my child were in the class and asked me if X child really is a boy, I would tell them the truth.

And I also had the same understanding as a PP wrt affirmation.

What a sorry mess for everyone involved.

I believe that the government are trying to avoid a judicial review with the guidelines, hence the lengthy process and repeated amendments.
However, I reckon this needs legal challenge. Let's expose these adults who argue that even the youngest of children should be set on a path to sterilisation and become a life long medical patient. Let's hear why they think 8 year olds & younger should be subjected to this experimental medical treatment.

Could you email Safe Schools Alliance with your concerns and ask for their advice? I am sure you won’t be the first or last to ask similar questions. As others have said this involves other children and their parents too. If they believe that the changing areas are single sex they are giving consent on this basis. If something inappropriate did happen how could the school justify their actions? At a very basic level (and without giving anything away about this particular child) the parents need to know what the school’s policies are on single sex/mixed sex provision.

I'd just tell my kid the sex of the child, I'm not allowing my child to be lied and by colluding with this nonsense we aren't shutting it down and making everyone see just how ridiculous it is.

The school and the parents of the child concerned are making a huge and ill-judged assumption that everyone around the child is going to play along with what they stipulate. The child in question isn’t any more important or special than the other 29 children in the class. I suspect many parents feel very uncomfortable with this.

Everyone wearing PE kit to school on PE days is the only way for the child not to be outed and maintain single sex spaces.
If there's swimming on the curriculum then I realise that it won't work but it's a problem for your managers.

What's the basis of this family having socially transitioned their child? Has it happened under specialist medical care or did they just fancy having a boy?

Why is your school agreeing to pretend the child is male? Parents can change her name but not her legal sex.

Are there any other safeguarding factors at play (OBS be very circumspect)?

You wouldn't know though because the school wouldn't tell you.

Sorry - I didn’t realise you are a teacher at the school, I thought you were a fellow parent (failed to read the thread title).

Still, it’s a huge ethical issue for all staff involved.

A legal challenge is in the works. The Bad Law Project are just about to start proceedings. Barry, the EDIJester has just uploaded a video from a meeting at the HoP yesterday, presented by the lovely Anya Palmer. There’s a crowdfunder on Democracy 3 already. The best of luck to them!

Absolutely. No way would I be lying to my child.

OP I'd be objecting in no uncertain terms. How you go about this might depend on how secure you feel in your job. I make my views very clear at my school and, although one the Deputy Heads hates my guta and think I'm an evil transphobe, I'm not at any risk of losing my job. Check on the regulations on single sex toilets, I think they are required from age 8 up. I'd also be very clear I wasn't willing to lie to my classes. I'm a secondary teacher so the issues are slightly different as no child 'passes'. I think in Primay the issue of lying to children is more clear cut as they could quite easily genuinely believe the child is of the opposite sex.

Thank god for teachers like you and the OP. I hope the new guidance due out makes things easier for schools and makes children safer.

EIGHT years old. Bloody parents!

You could send an email asking for the risk assessment concerning social transitioning and switching single sex toilet/changing room policy to 'gender'. You could also ask for the equalities impact assessment - supporting social transition and mixed sex spaces creates conflict with other protected characteristics eg belief, religion, etc. There's a question of liability if other parents realise their beliefs and protected charactetistics have been infringed by the school's secret position.

Why on earth is the school providing mixed sex toilets? A primary school will certainly have Y5 and Y6 girls who have started their periods, and possibly Y4 girls as well . I thought the guidance was that single sex toilets were the norm. I am surprised that parents haven’t objected loudly to this.

I have to say that I also feel really sorry for the older sibling, who is having to collude in this lie about “David”, I think it is hugely unfair to expect a child to start in a new school carrying this burden of a secret, however it has been presented to her. I can’t think of many 9 year olds who would be able to maintain their pretence without sharing it with a friend, and once that cat is out of the bag there will be no way at all to persuade it back in.

Poor girl. Having everyone tell her she's a boy, she really will experience disphoria when puberty hits.

How strong (effective? applicable? Not sure what word I want here.) is the ruling on Maya's case? As I understand it, it backs up the EA2010 statement that the PC of ' Faith' includes lack of belief. So, legally, you cannot be required to profess a faith you do not believe in, and cannot be discriminated against for refusing to do so.

Surely the school requiring everybody to go along with this faith-based behaviour is contrary to the EA and the ruling in Maya's case?

Is their demand legitimate?