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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Ginny - an update

1000 replies

idontknowwhattosay23 · 09/07/2023 13:02

Massive apologies for the delay in an update. It's been tricky to know how to word it so that I don't get into trouble or have to ask for it to be taken down again. Plus I've been so depressed with the situation I haven't really known what to say.

I won't be able to post the full story as before so really this is only for the benefit of those that read the last (now deleted) thread and wondered what happened / can remember the details.

The meeting went ahead as planned, although with the massive twist that it wasn't actually just myself and "Ginny" but was turned into a whole office meeting, which turned into just giving Ginny a platform to talk about her life as a trans woman (all 6 months of it) and how she is constantly objectified by men, sexually harassed and cat called and suffers far more than any cis woman and as such, deserves (and needs so she doesn't harm herself) the support and cooperation of everyone in the office, especially other women. No, I'm not joking.

The tampon / being in the women's toilet issue was brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible and explained to us as a complex matter of dysphoria that we couldn't possibly grasp and was not to be spoken about again. We were then informed that female sanitary products would be provided by management in ALL toilets, men's women's and the disabled toilets to avoid any future "misunderstanding". I was asked if I wanted to apologise for my outburst and make a fresh start with Ginny, I did so because as I said in the last thread, I really need this job at the moment. I'm so disappointed in myself for doing so and feel gross. But I couldn't do anything else. I want to thank all those that said to just suck it up and apologise, it saved me my job 100% no question about it.

Overall it was bordering humiliating for all involved, we were spoken to like children and patronised beyond belief. Ginny has been given a new desk set up right by the bosses office, best view, newest computer and a client list that even people who have been there 10+ years wouldn't usually get a look in on and have been working hard to secure for a long time... myself and two other women have been relocated to the back office. Apparently absolutely unrelated incidents, based on "the continuing restructure of company operations to maximise productivity and output". Two men have handed in their notice, again entirely unrelated.... (I can't say much, please put the pieces together yourselves ❤️)

I'm speaking now because frankly I'm dreading Monday, as in physically feel crap and absolutely can't face going in, but for now I have to. I'm actively looking for another job and have had my 3 weeks holiday approved from mid-July so I just need to get through a week and a half and I'm free of the nonsense for a bit to regroup and figure out what I do next.

It's no understatement to say I am utterly baffled as to why there is such massive special treatment for Ginny, considering the huge mistakes they have made since starting and the constant drama. Current theories floated by colleagues suggest either the boss believes that this is legally how trans people need to be treated in the workplace and is entirely uneducated in it, thus airing massively on the side of caution and has pushed inclusivity so far he's excluded everyone else. And another theory to do with crushes that I couldn't possibly repeat.

So there we have it. I'm sorry it took a while to update, there is plenty more happening that I just can't really share at the moment. But when I can I will.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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BobaFeta · 13/07/2023 21:11

Whilst it's lovely that the job came at the right time op, you are the one who turned your life around and had the strength to restart. This is just a chapter in your story, the next one is about to begin.

BobaFeta · 13/07/2023 21:12

Boiledbeetle · 13/07/2023 21:10

😁 Yeah maybe she should keep quiet about the MN women standing behind her. She'll know we are there, the interviewer doesn't need to! 😁

Plot twist. The interviewer is on the thread.

PatatiPatatras · 13/07/2023 21:13

I think your boss is a kind soul who thinks he is doing the same thing he did for you for another deserving soul.

Unfortunately these things backfire when entitlement becomes involved.

I'm sure he's still a good man. G might not have been the best choice for a social justice case to win is all.

Pudmyboy · 13/07/2023 21:13

@idontknowwhattosay23 that is so poignant, it explains why what has happened has been so confusing for you. What was a safety net and a support has disappeared almost overnight. I am glad you feel stronger and know we are all rooting for you 💓

Pudmyboy · 13/07/2023 21:16

Luckydog7 · 13/07/2023 21:10

I always send this advice to people about to go into interviews

Don't for get to power pose! Link to the ted talk below.

So many excellent supportive posters on here!

PoseyFlump · 13/07/2023 21:17

PatatiPatatras · 13/07/2023 21:13

I think your boss is a kind soul who thinks he is doing the same thing he did for you for another deserving soul.

Unfortunately these things backfire when entitlement becomes involved.

I'm sure he's still a good man. G might not have been the best choice for a social justice case to win is all.

Or he just enjoys kinky sex whilst having an affair.

Pudmyboy · 13/07/2023 21:18

BobaFeta · 13/07/2023 21:12

Plot twist. The interviewer is on the thread.

Be a short interview!
Interviewer: good morning
OP: good morning
Interviewer When can you start?

canpinkydance · 13/07/2023 21:20

What?! The boss is shagging Ginny?

I'd be anonymously contacting his wife to give her the hint.

GurlWithACurl · 13/07/2023 21:23

Very best wishes for tomorrow, OP.

Boiledbeetle · 13/07/2023 21:23

Given the new info that G knew boss prior to being employed I can't help but feel he's been playing the long con on the boss.

mateysmum · 13/07/2023 21:24

Bet a few of your colleagues are dusting off their cv as well.
Although today started off really badly it ended with much more clarity and support. Your colleagues are stepping up. It's not just you as the lone bad guy with a target on your back.
You also have a much better idea of why your boss is behaving out of character.
Those 2 things alone will hopefully lift some of the stress off you. You also have a new job prospect
Remember everybody's job was above their level before they got that job.

Good luck tomorrow.

LonginesPrime · 13/07/2023 21:31

canpinkydance · 13/07/2023 21:20

What?! The boss is shagging Ginny?

I'd be anonymously contacting his wife to give her the hint.

I assumed it was more like they met at a trans support group that the boss attended for a family member or something.

MyKingdomforaNameChange · 13/07/2023 21:31

Good luck for tomorrow OP, you sound amazing from your posts here, please believe in yourself because we all believe in you!

Pudmyboy · 13/07/2023 21:32

LonginesPrime · 13/07/2023 21:31

I assumed it was more like they met at a trans support group that the boss attended for a family member or something.

Or maybe he is considering this for himself....

PoseyFlump · 13/07/2023 21:35

The OP said:

Secondly, I believe the above efforts to be entirely futile because (and I have to be very careful how I word this) it has become crystal clear to me since our lunch out, exactly why the boss is giving preferential treatment to G. It's a theory that I've seen floated here and sort of brushed over and not responded to because it seemed totally impossible to me. But sadly after what I've seen, I'm almost entirely convinced this theory is correct. Of course this is only my opinion and I'm not making any accusations, merely a personal observation. I'm incredibly disappointed.

Reads more like a secret affair to me.

Mummyoflittledragon · 13/07/2023 21:41

Having finally got to the end of your thread, it is terribly sad that things are now going wrong for you in the company. But there is a better future out there waiting for you. You’ve proved yourself to be resilient, resourceful and caring. Not only that but are willing to graciously put others mistakes right even though you’re being treated so poorly. Good luck for your interview tomorrow. Smile

Redshoeblueshoe · 13/07/2023 21:49

Good luck for tomorrow.

CatChant · 13/07/2023 21:50

Best of luck for tomorrow, OP.

OhHolyJesus · 13/07/2023 21:52

Just read the update. Don't even know where to begin!

Good luck tomorrow OP. Hope you can hightail out of there very soon!

Rowgtfc72 · 13/07/2023 21:54

Good luck for tomorrow!

suggestionsplease1 · 13/07/2023 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Oblahdeeoblahdoe · 13/07/2023 22:08

idontknowwhattosay23 · 13/07/2023 20:33

😩 this is so kind, and it means so much. Thank you so much for taking time out of your day to day that, you've made my day. And the poster earlier who said to imagine all the mumsnet friends at lunch supporting me, it's all so very kind x

🥰🥰

dapsnotplimsolls · 13/07/2023 22:12

Interviewer - can you give us a personal reference?
OP - Yes, dial 0800 Team Tunnocks

BeckyWithTheGoodHair010101 · 13/07/2023 22:22

Good luck tomorrow OP! Stay positive Flowers

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