Declining to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature

[HowDoIGetThisThingOff]

It's finally happened, I've been "told" to put my preferred pronouns in my email signature at work.

I've emailed back saying my preference is that I don't do this. But I'm feeling a bit anxious 😬.

Please can I get some advice on what to say if they come back with questions or pressure to comply?

I’d be tempted to put ‘my pronouns are sex based, like my oppression’.

Oppression? You define adding pronouns to your email signature as oppression. What has the world come to?

Sorry, haven't read the whole thread so someone may have suggested this already.

We have this where I work too, and it's not compulsory but very much encouraged. A friendly pro-pronouns colleague recently asked me what my preferred pronouns were as this wasn't indicated in my email signature. I just told her I have no preferred pronouns - people can use whatever pronouns they want. And I'm not writing "I have no preferred pronouns" in my signature as it's a rather meaningless statement.

It should be a choice

You can if you want to though

@SunnyEgg Yes, agreed mostly. I was referring to those who were suggesting things such as going to HR or making a childish joke of it by writing something silly.

That explains why you don't seem to have understood the thread.

Try reading that post again and you will hopefully understand that you have misunderstood. @stayflufft is not stating that adding pronouns is oppression.

God forbid you have to be seen anywhere near a r*nbow that is not on! What do you do when there's a rainbow in the sky, do you close all the curtains?

stayflufft
I’d be tempted to put ‘my pronouns are sex based, like my oppression’.

@janeinthewild "Oppression? You define adding pronouns to your email signature as oppression. What has the world come to?"

No, @janeinthewild , maybe you need to practice your reading comprehension.

Stayflufft is saying that her pronouns are sex based, like her oppression is sex based, because all over the world, women are oppressed because they are female (as in the actual biological sex female, not the personality/feeling/clothing choice type of female thats actually male)

Right. And the vast majority of us just opt out. Don’t do it. No fuss either way.

And some how, mysteriously - thanks to my name, tiny ID photo that comes up on all my email, and my general appearance - people refer to me as ‘she’ or ‘her’ when talking about me when I’m not around. Odd, isn’t it….

There is no need for me to state the obvious in my email signature.

If other people do need to inform people of their pronouns because they’re, say, male but wanted to be referred to as ‘she’ and ‘her’ when they’re being talked about, or they have a unisex name or androgneous appearance - more power to them, and they’re free to opt in and add pronouns to their email signature.

See how it works?

There's things in life I do have to do. But adding my pronouns to please people like you is certainly not one of them. 😂

And I don't want to. So I won't. I don't care about your pronouns. So butt out of mine ☺️

Have a feeling this is heading down the tracks in my workplace. I’m mulling over:
’She who must be obeyed/Her majesty’.

…..or resigning.

Thats why - for the ppl who have most definitely read this thread & not just jumped into tell us to beeee kiiiind

You probably missed my post so I will explain again.

She/her/hers pronouns go with Woman/Girl.

There are currently two conflicting decisions of the word "Woman".

The first is the original, sex based meaning. A woman is simply an adult person whose physical sex is female. By this definition I am a woman so she/her/hers I appropriate.

The second is mental. A woman is a person of either sex who believes they have a female mentality (whatever that is). By this definition I am not a woman so she/her/hers is not appropriate.

The second definition is the only one that allows trans women to be women, and since declaring pronouns is done in support of trans people, if you declare She/her/hers pronouns you are clearly declaring yourself to be a woman by this second, mental definition, ie that you see yourself as having a female mentality.

Like many female bodied people I am comfortable with my female body but do not see myself as having an especially female mentality, and in fact consider that to be an offensively sexist and reductive idea. Therefore, it is neither appropriate nor honest to declare myself to be She/her/hers.

Unfortunately since genderists chose to reuse words with existing meanings rather than coin new words for gender-based concepts, this leaves me a bit stuck on the pronoun front.

I therefore do accept that, in the absence of any pronouns for the just-female (other than the ones that have been stolen from us), people will have to call me she/her/hers, but I'm not going to actively declare them because that would be condoning ideas about womanhood I find offensive, and making a statement about myself which isn't true.

@janeinthewild - since you support gender identity, and clearly believe transwomen are women, perhaps you can help us out.

What does ‘feeling like a woman’ mean?

We now know that the old definition of woman (adult human female) is transphobic and hateful, so now the definition of a woman is ‘someone who feels like a woman’.

What does that mean? How do I now know if I’m a man or a woman?

So far, no-one has been able to explain that. It would be great if you could, so that we could understand.

I'll use a rough example for this. Imagine you see a photo of an attractive male and an attractive female. As a woman, I am more likely to think 'I wish I looked like that' when looking at the photo of the woman and not the man.

It's likely not exactly the same for being transgender, I would not know as I am not trans myself. But that is the best way I can describe the feeling of knowing what your gender is.

Of course that is only a small example and everyone's relationship with gender is not exactly the same but I hope that makes it a little bit easier to relate to/understand

@FlirtsWithRhinos If you don't want to use or specifiy a certain set of pronouns, that is perfectly fine and I respect that entirely. A lot of people replying have however suggested immature alternatives to submit in order to mock the encouragement to add pronouns which is just ridiculoud

So I doubt I would look at such a photo and have your response

Thinking about things , it's usually men whose looks I would most aim to emulate

But i don't see that is anything more than
1; the fact I don't like particular stereotypical feminine looks
2; a good dash of wanting to be male because that's where the action is

It's up to individuals if they want to choose unusual pronouns for themselves. You don't get to police that. Acceptance without exception.

Well I see no issue with that. Your femininity is not the same as mine. It is just a rough example

@AnarchoTyrannosaurus Come on, it's obvious some people are mocking it

So?

This this this.

Only because it is open to mockery.

@AnarchoTyrannosaurus So are we condoning mockery now? Is that really the best idea

It's up to individual choice. Are you policing what they should think about this as well now?