@beachcitygirl
I see innuendo, fear, biological determinism of the sort feminists despised only 20 years ago) bigotry, anger, upset more fear, lack of understanding of gender. Denial of gender, clinging to femininity and masculinity, outdated cliches
But not one single person who is open to changing their mind if given answers to their queries and worries. And who can state those worries simply and clearly.
I think you either have not read much on this board, or are seeing what you expect to see not what is there.
This is based on explanations I have given on other threads:
If Man and Woman simply refer to biological sex, they can be any sort of person. That's the exact opposite of biological determinism. It's literally saing the only thing your biology should determine is...your biology!
However, when you decide Man and Woman is not a fact of the body but an aspect of mind, you unavoidably draw lines between men and women that are about the characteristics of their minds. To me that is incredibly sexist and reductive, especially because you impose those definitions not just on people who actively choose those genderist terms, but on every single person who is known as a man or woman, even though for the vast majority that's simply the historic name for their sex.
To dress, express oneself or live "as a woman" implicitly assumes there is a specific way which women do these things. Gender identity reproduces reductive assumptions society has about what women can/cannot wear, how they are allowed to express themselves, perform or exist.
So while your analysis may currently stop at "if someone wants to do something It's bigoted to challenge them", looked at through a wider lens, gender absolutely is serving the Patriarchy by perpetuating bigoted and reductive concepts of womanhood.
Furthermore, female people suffered millenia of unfair treatment and the social expectations and structures that came from that are still baked into our society. So female-only supports exist in our society now to mitigate that unfairness. I hope one day we don't need them but sadly the very different risks and social outcomes experienced by male and female people shows us that, for now at least, we do.
Similarly, female sports exist not because men and women have different minds, because female bodies have different capabilities to male, and in some sports we simply cannot compete fairly or safely together.
So to insist these Women-only provisions are now open to male people simply because they changed what the word Woman means, from a type of body to a state of mind, is dishonest, because they weren't created in a vacuum just hanging around ready for anyone who happened to claim the name Woman! They were created for female people because they were what female people needed. Their entire existence and shape reflects that need. Male people, whether they call themselves women or not, have no claim on them.
So I want an honest recognition that the aspect of mind that trans women (and indeed, female people who feel they share that aspect of mind) experience is a different thing to being female bodied and therefore does not justify opening up female-only spaces, protections and opportunities to male people who have it, nor justify such male people taking it on themselves to claim they speak as and for "women" and expect their views to be accepted as "women's".
Once that is established, which is, after all, nothing more than a simple and obvious fact, then we can all stop this ridiculous side show of trying to fit trans needs into the pre existing sex-based structures and start doing what Stonewall et al should have been doing all along, which is fighting with feminists against gender stereotypes that constrain people from living happily as the sex they actually are, and working out and lobbying for whatever dedicated support, rights, services and protections (if any) gender non-conformong people need in the meantime until we get there.