@beachcitygirl
"For me it's all about the individual. I believe in punishing the criminals & bad actors. the same as we do for other social issues"
I'm not sure anyone here would describe themselves as being against punishing criminals and bad actors. But personally I have ample anecdotal evidence from my life of 'minor' incidents which make women feel unhappy and unsafe never being reported to anyone. Sexual assaults never being reported to anyone, and if and when the sexual assaulted is reported people minimising it as no big deal, not thinking it should be treated as criminal. Even rapes and gang rapes that are often either not reported, not investigated or not prosecuted.
Every single one of these crimes was committed by a man, not a 'trans person' not even a transwoman.
"I support self-Id 💯"
For me that means that every one of the men responsible for the crimes I'm talking about above - the ones I'm personally aware of and the crimes that I'm aware of from statistics or surveys is fully entitled to choose to go into women's single sex spaces if they want to. And they have if you'll pardon my saying so already proved to my satisfaction that they can't be trusted. The men who hurt us don't respect our boundaries or our feelings. To them only their feelings matter, only what they want matters. And sometimes what they want is to scare us, to hurt us, to see us naked or unclothed, to make us look at their penises even when, especially when we don't want to see it. So I've never seen an argument that I found persuasive as to why it would be that men who were sexual predators wouldn't exploit self id. Note I'm absolutely not saying all trans people are like that, or even all transwomen are like that. That is absolutely not what I believe, what I believe beyond a shadow of a doubt, is that some men are like that. Those men exist.
"In issues with vulnerable women. Eg prisons, shelters etc I believe in individual risk assessments as is currently the case and has been since equality act began."
I believe that the equality act allows for services such as prisons to be segregated by sex where that would be a proportionate means of achieving a legitimate aim. Personally I am strongly in favour of the idea that if you are going to deny somebody their liberty you have a strong duty of care to keep them as safe as is practically possible. That some male prisoners are indeed vulnerable to violence and sexual assault from men is a problem and not a trivial one, I do not personally believe that men asserting that they are tw or enby would be uniquely vulnerable. It's not that I don't think their vulnerability should be taken seriously I do, just I think other men, young, autistic, gay etc. Deserve to have their safety taken just as seriously. I do not personally agree that allowing any man to tick a box as to where he would feel most comfortable being housed is a proportionate means to address that issue, I do not assert that this is what you're advocating for but I have certainly seen people interpret self id 100% as including prisons.
"I do not believe that anyone man or woman who has committed a sexual crime of violence to anyone should be in general population of any prison."
committed or been convicted of? I only ask because like most women I know I've known men to get away with some pretty grim behaviour without getting a conviction for it. Again I'm using the word men because that who I mean. A guy who is being sent to jail is very possibly not a particularly trustworthy guy. If there was a sufficient incentive he might be perfectly prepared to lie. It is certainly no stretch to say that a woman being allocated a TW cell mate will have no knowledge of if he's a lying serial rapist with a penchant for domination and violent porn. Or the loveliest and most peaceable person she ever met. She's going to feel pretty damn uncomfortable not knowing that. That's a burden I don't believe it is fair to place on any woman in jail.
"ie I don't support 3 rd spaces for trans people but 3rd spaces for sexual predators."
The devil is in the detail as they say. I'm not saying you're wrong but I would love to hear more about how you envisage this working alongside a self id 100% culture...
"Vile misogynistic comments on any social media should be reported & removed
Vile transphobic comments on any social media should be reported & removed ."
I don't disagree with the sentiment although I suspect there may be comments which I'd find to be misogynistic and you'd think were ok, and statements where you'd think they were transphobic and I'd think they were ok and reasonable. Sometimes leaving some room to listen to someone and respond to their point is how you can move forward.
"It appears to me that so many women have been radicalised by this issue and have lost sight of what actually angers them ."
Well no-one can dispute a statement of how things seem to you. I myself would say I do know what my 'red lines' as it were are the things with which I cannot just agree to keep the peace. I may not always articulate them well (like anyone I'm only human).
"No matter how many times one asks you seem to get a different answer and as you speak to that worry they manufacture another different issue."
I would suggest that the best summary of 'our side' if you will is that sex is real, binary, and immutable. Sometimes it matters.
If someone is trying to prove to you that sometimes sex matters they may give examples from lots of different times places and scenarios in which they believe that sex matters.
"I suspect many just don't like trans women using the word woman."
Well apart from the word 'just' I suspect you might be right. Almost all words have a range of context dependant meanings and are used in different formal and informal ways. I don't think women objected to anyone using the words women and girls in informal usage. It was when the words woman and lesbian are treated as having been redefined in their primary main and legal usage I object.
Which seems bizarre to me. Hating on a minority and frothing at the mouth over a word
When people are saying and feeling things you don't understand it is often a good idea to talk to them to get their perspective, describing them as 'frothing at the mouth' would, for me, be one of those vile misogynistic comments we were talking about.
"I'm always open to respectful debate and disagreement but also like others I get cross when people deliberately engage dishonestly or try to "gotcha"'rather than discuss. Or when they try to speak for me and other women like me who are committed to self I'd for our trans allies."
Thank you for sharing your perspective but I see no allyship whatsoever from the trans movement or ideology. If I believed it was kinder or more inclusive I would be on board. I do not, I have considered it carefully and find it fundamentally flawed in terms of sexism and homophobia.