I’ve read the transcript now. Very struck by the fact that the father is ultimately delighted to have a transitioned child. Much more acceptable than an effeminate (and possibly gay) son, I suspect, though in a healthier, more truthful household, a similarly bigoted father might eventually have learned to accept his son, as he was.
Really though, I don’t know whether Jackie will ever be able to see that the hoops that had to be jumped through to gain acceptance from a father who should have loved his child unconditionally, are everything to do with the wish of a very small boy that things had been different and that it might have been better to have been born female.
Those who have transitioned MtF regularly seem to describe their memories of “always having known” and assume the bullying came because they “were trans”. What they willfully ignore (because it goes against the message they have been telling themselves) is the fact that the parental bullying is probably the root cause of that false conviction. The bullying started as soon as the “unacceptable behaviour” occurred, which is almost certainly before the child understood what sex is, far less understandood what sex they themselves were and how their personal behaviour patterns fitted in with societal or parental biases. And that conclusion was almost certainly drawn before the child could communicate enough to have a discussion to clarify any of it.
My daughter demonstrated an unwillingness to wear feminine clothes before she could talk. She told me with her body language and actions.
Some children working out who they are in that atmosphere of disapproval might come to understand their parent is the problem and not their sex, but others might take the more beguiling path: that their parent cannot be wrong, and therefore somehow nature must have made a mistake. The latter is actually the easier pathway in the short term, with a child’s complete lack understanding of the bounds of reality or long term consequences.
Given the omniscience that a very small child generally credits their parents with at that age, I can see how easy it would be for that conclusion to be drawn.
And having drawn it, and told that parent your thoughts, then the same parent belittles and bullies you for the conclusion you drew. In the growing understanding that your parent doesn’t really like you, it is a natural response to reject what they are now saying. Thus you come to see your ongoing experience of wishing you were the opposite sex/believing your brain is wrong, in the face of that rejection, as being proof of how strong your conviction must have been, to continue with it, in the face of that disapproval.
But of course the child only remembers the latter part: feeling that conviction in the face of the disapproval he now recognizes. He doesn’t recall that it was the same disapproval that caused him to draw the false conclusion because he has no clear memory of that time at all.