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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Dylan Mulvaney needs to carry tampons to offer to bio women

331 replies

UltimateWario · 07/04/2023 15:14

Do people with no hair usually carry hairspray incase others need it?

Seeing as though what I was reading went poof.

OP posts:
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Jumpingvert · 15/04/2023 15:42

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mirabai · 15/04/2023 15:55

😂 👍🏼 sorry I’m in a seminar.

Jan Moir is the dreadful DM columnist.

NurseCranesRolodex · 15/04/2023 16:59

I would love if this was just a gesture of solidarity from a trans identifying male to females but it's not.

It's a cynical publicity ploy of course. It's nothing more than a male who parodies, sexualises, stereotypes and dehumanises women raking in millions, because this person is MALE.

Its a sad day that we can't discuss this here. It makes me weep. I feel like I'm standing at the gates of Gilead.

nepeta · 15/04/2023 17:54

Mirabai · 15/04/2023 15:08

I think that’s true of quite a few transwomen particularly in the age of influencers - they think they’ll get more attention and attention = money.

Jan Moir’s daughter wrote a really interesting memoir of her experience of her dad. She felt that his sex changes was not about wanting to be female at all - he didn’t like women and treated her and her mother badly - it was primarily for attention to be different or special in some way.

An interesting snippet about Jan Morris cropped up recently somewhere:

A literary person (a male friend of Morris) had come to visit him and they had had a meal together. After the meal, the friend got up and started clearing the table, to be helpful, presumably.

Jan Morris told him to sit down as clearing the table "was women's work." Jan Morris remained seated, however.

So the category 'women' that at least some male people identify into might not mean identifying into doing the kind of work the category 'women' has always (and still is) implied.

NurseCranesRolodex · 15/04/2023 18:07

AridFanjo · 14/04/2023 08:54

Can anyone tell me where I can find a well argued view about this DM tool? I would like to send it to my teen dd but googling him, the rhetoric is either painfully pro or offensively anti. Neither will help me explain to dd why this situation is so problematic.

Twitter has a lot of well argued points.

Mirabai · 15/04/2023 19:41

nepeta · 15/04/2023 17:54

An interesting snippet about Jan Morris cropped up recently somewhere:

A literary person (a male friend of Morris) had come to visit him and they had had a meal together. After the meal, the friend got up and started clearing the table, to be helpful, presumably.

Jan Morris told him to sit down as clearing the table "was women's work." Jan Morris remained seated, however.

So the category 'women' that at least some male people identify into might not mean identifying into doing the kind of work the category 'women' has always (and still is) implied.

That’s exactly what his daughter said. He actually quite despised women and thought their role was housekeeping and childrearing. And significant aspects of his so-called memoirs about his relationship with his wife - like holding her hand in hospital after the birth of their child - was just a lie. Her mum gave birth alone.

Mirabai · 15/04/2023 19:56

These linked articles are both worth reading, even Daily Mail one which contains some details from the daughter the Times account does not.

The account I referred to above as the birth of one of their kids - was actually the death of one of them (excuse my poor memory). Morris wrote in her memoirs that she and her wife held hands crying all night in the hospital. In fact, her wife went through the loss of their daughter completely alone - Jan was elsewhere.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11527279/Celebrated-writer-Jan-Morris-bully-hug-children-daughter-claims.html

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/jan-morris-was-a-trans-pioneer-and-a-cruel-parent-9x82s5cg9

Jan Morris was a trans pioneer — and a cruel parent

The reporter and travel writer’s gender reassignment caused a sensation in the 1970s, but at home she refused to answer her children’s questions. The Jan they knew was neglectful, bullying and sexist, writes her daughter Suki Morys

https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/jan-morris-was-a-trans-pioneer-and-a-cruel-parent-9x82s5cg9

Animalsoffartingwood · 15/04/2023 21:24

My life has been one whole self-centred exercise in self-satisfaction!

Well I'm shocked, shocked I tell you.

Rogdog · 16/04/2023 07:44

In my lifetime, I’ve known a past Dad who transitioned to become his son’s Auntie. I went to a nightclub with someone who preferred to identify as a woman, and was dressed as a woman.

In both cases I had a real sense of fragility and vulnerability from talking to them. I felt it was absolutely not my place to challenge or question how they were choosing to live their lives.

There are previous posts here comparing to blackface. No it’s not the same, and I would find that comparison offensive.

Blackface has its origins in Minstrel shows which I understand were to mock black slaves. It was to belittle and laugh at the black race. That’s why it’s offensive.

The two people I know who were choosing to dress as women - came from a place of trying to feel comfortable and understand who they are. They were not trying to mock or belittle women, they were using make up/clothing in a positive way to identify who they are. I was never outraged when I saw Nirvana or Manic Street Preachers wearing dresses on stage. It wasn’t a parody. I felt it was a positive message.

DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry · 16/04/2023 07:55

Womanface performance comes from the same place of disrespect at blackface. Drag, panto, the lot. Mocking women to reduce their humanity.

A man who chooses to wear clothes more usually associated with women while going about their life may not be 'performing', but presenting what they feel is their authentic self.

I leave that open because I have met some boys and men who when they put on skirts or whatever are certainly doing it to disparage women, 'for a laugh' or otherwise (I've never found it amusing).

SpringyAF · 16/04/2023 08:26

I must say if I needed a tampon my first thought wouldn’t be to ask a man on account of the fact he doesn’t, in fact, have any need for one due to the very clear lack of any female bodily parts.

Rogdog · 16/04/2023 08:39

@DeanVolecapeAKAelderberry

Hmm. I wouldn’t find drag or panto offensive tho in the majority of cases, or if there is a positive intention?? But yes - a 70’s panto dame could very well be offensive… I guess it depends if there is a deliberate attempt to cause harm?? And harm in terms of societies values of today? How do you define what a man/woman can or can’t wear? Is Brian Molko in eyeliner : womanface?

Blackface is so extreme and it’s whole origin is in causing harm to others.

Mirabai · 16/04/2023 08:45

I think there’s a difference between drag queens, Widow Twanky & DM who parody and mock women with derogatory stereotyping; and trans who just get on with it - I don’t have any issue with trans per se.

I’m simply against parodying and denigrating women and hijacking their private spaces and sports, and male parodies of women used to sell products to us.

Mirabai · 16/04/2023 08:58

Xpost - I think the point is we’re so used to men parodying women that we see it as part of the wallpaper - whereas parodying black people is clearly wrong.

I’m a poc though not black - I don’t find Alex Guinness’s boot polish role in Passage to India offensive because it’s a genuine performance not a parody. It’s naive and somewhat bizarre and hasn’t aged well but he’s not a minstrel.

Merrymouse · 16/04/2023 09:00

They were not trying to mock or belittle women, they were using make up/clothing in a positive way to identify who they are.

Look up the meaning of ‘fish’ in this context.

I imagine that men do drag for many different reasons. They don’t all do it with malign intent, but equally there is nothing intrinsically progressive about drag either. Ironically it relies on the idea that behaviour and dress associated with femininity is not acceptable in men.

Rogdog · 16/04/2023 09:07

@Merrymouse

I think it very much depends on the intention. To me Nirvana/Placebo/Manics was a progressive thing. The two transgender people I knew - it felt like a positive portrayal of who they are.

Widow Twanky - no. That’s a deliberate attempt to belittle women.

Merrymouse · 16/04/2023 09:11

Re tampons, some women don’t use them and they tend to disintegrate after a month or two of being carried around.

Even leaving everything else aside, Tampax is not the answer.

SirChenjins · 16/04/2023 09:49

Mirabai · 16/04/2023 08:58

Xpost - I think the point is we’re so used to men parodying women that we see it as part of the wallpaper - whereas parodying black people is clearly wrong.

I’m a poc though not black - I don’t find Alex Guinness’s boot polish role in Passage to India offensive because it’s a genuine performance not a parody. It’s naive and somewhat bizarre and hasn’t aged well but he’s not a minstrel.

Do ’we’ see it as part of the wallpaper? I don’t - I see dames and drags as outdated and misogynistic, but they are usually contained to pantomimes, the stage or drunken parties so not part of the general wallpaper of society. Men dressing as women as fighting for their right to use a female toilet or female prison for example is a very different beast and as offensive as someone colouring their face and identifying as another race or an able bodied person pretending to be disabled.

Mirabai · 16/04/2023 10:05

RuPaul, Dylan Mulvaney, Lily Savage, Edna Everage aren’t limited to pantomime are they..? Sam Smith is going through a drag phase…

SirChenjins · 16/04/2023 10:07

Is that in response to me @Mirabai ?

Mirabai · 16/04/2023 10:14

Yes

Kernackered · 16/04/2023 10:15

I'm not sure if anyone has suggested this before, but I would bet my house that Dylan has Histrionic Personality Disorder. He needs help, not affirmation

SirChenjins · 16/04/2023 10:36

Mirabai · 16/04/2023 10:05

RuPaul, Dylan Mulvaney, Lily Savage, Edna Everage aren’t limited to pantomime are they..? Sam Smith is going through a drag phase…

They are stage personas - as far as I know RuPaul isn’t part of the TRA activist movement to use single sex spaces

SirChenjins · 16/04/2023 10:37
  • Dylan Mulvaney excepted
Mirabai · 16/04/2023 10:51

They’re TV/media not stage. Never said they were TRA - and that’s not the point.