Trans Widows are the only mothers of our children.

[TinselAngel]

I don't want this claim by @bathhy to get lost in a thread that will no doubt go along the usual lines.

"As a trans woman mother who uses Mumsnet, I would never recommend coming here."

Trans women can never be the mother of any child. We women, the trans widows who are usually your exes, who give birth to those children are their mother and always will be.

If you adopt a child, you can be the child's parent, but as a male you are not the child's mother.

Trans widows say no to having our status and legal responsibility as mother taken from us.

Women here must not allow forced teaming from men who wish to appropriate our status as the mothers of our children.

Every woman here should consider how they would feel if the father of their child after having taken so much from them already, then demanded to be called "Mum."

That doesn't answer my question, what does me adopting a child have to do with trans widows

You really cannot figure this out?

There is a support network of women here who have experienced the father of their child transitioning and then wishing to press the family and their children to agree that they are now 'mum'.

Regardless of and totally uninterested of the wreckage this creates of someone his ex and children believed loved them.

A bit of reciprocal sensitivity. That's all it takes.

Mum and mother are terms given to a female parent

Transwomen are not female
They can't be a mother

So why do they say otherwise? What do they hope to gain ?

Beyond making themselves increasingly a laughing stock ( at least here in Scotland)

boring

Yes if they don't want to be called "Dad" that's very sad for the child but a sensible alternative if they insist on being selfish would be for them to be called by their first name.

Boring but true

Life is a lot of boring not a theme park

It's also unfair and strongly rooted in biology

Really?
Is it still half term somewhere?

Why would you call someone Dad presenting as a woman?

And how many “trans widows” are subject to this in Scotland? Like, 3?

If a father changes their name and gender legally are they still legally the father?

Because a woman can't be named as the father on a birth certificate and you can't be written as also the mother without adoption, right?

Transwomen of course can't be mothers. They can be fathers, however they are generally speaking, if you read the testimonies of transwidows, on the shittier end of male parenting as they tend to be more interested in navel gazing than thinking about what's best for their children.

Rarely do they put themselves before their kids, the transitioning is all, sod the impact on the children. The pattern repeats itself time and again.

In fact if you just read the stories, you'd be 99.99999% sure they weren't mothers even if their sex was never specified.

it really is quite a breathtaking level of self absorbed narcissism to describe the trauma of trans widows seeing the men they were married to appropriating the word mother as “boring”

I think there's a larger campaign to remove a mother's automatic parental responsibility over her child, spearheaded by the likes of Freddie McDonnell who wanted the right to be recorded as the child's father. Removing the legal status of motherhood has serious ramifications for the safeguarding of children.

Not all Father's who want to be called "Mum" are necessarily part of that though, they just want the validation.

And how many “trans widows” are subject to this in Scotland? Like, 3?

What's it got to do with Scotland?

Very true @dimorphism

What do you mean by "presenting as a woman"?

Show me a trans woman and I’ll show you someone who has major daddy issues and a very warped view of anything male.

Anyway. Well said OP.

It’s not ok to put on black face paint and claim to be black, it’s not ok to pull your eyes into a squinted shape and say ‘hey look everyone I’m Chinese’ and it’s not ok for a man to put on lipstick, pick up a baby and say ‘I’m a mother now’. It’s offensive. Very, very, offensive.

Because however a child's father presents he is still their dad.

I can put on a Starfleet Uniform: I have not turned into a Vulcan. And fgs the child is a sentient human, not a bloody prop in the life of a male with a trans identity and a responsible father would have some minimal interest in their child's needs as well as their own.

I'm assuming a lot here but I have a suspicion you think I was once married to a woman and then transitioned and then adopted my son from my ex-wife.
The thing is none of that happened.

I've been married to a man for the last 20 years and adopted our son from a foster home.

So I still don't see why trans widows are being brought up in this.

As an actual widow (the wife of a man who died) I’m mystified at your use of the word widow while complaining about someone else misappropriating the use of the word mother.

Agree with your sentiment otherwise.

And we're on to 'if it's only x number of women/children's lives being wrecked what's your prob??'

The batshit really is out in force tonight.

Scary thought : observation tinsel

But yes so many men think women as objects so it's not surprising

You think there's only 3 trans widows in Scotland? I mean I know more than that personally and I certainly my don't claim to know the partner of every trans male.

Goodness knows why Scotland in particular is relevant though.

I've got no idea what your situation is, I haven't imagined anything at all. You asked. I explained.

Or indeed how many women/children does it has to affect for it to become 'like' not boring? 5, 10, 25, 50, 100?
Women and children matter, all of them.

God this part of MN is a real tedious echo chamber. Every day someone finds some minor example of a transwoman using some bit of language traditionally used by non-trans women. Then everyone says how bad it is.

No discussion or debate. Just a Circle J**k.