Autistic teen told to call male TA “Mx” & not “Sir” or “Mr *name*

[BethDuttonsTwin]

This happened to dd this morning at school. She then came out of school at told me she no longer wants one to one help in her lessons - her EHCP says 25 hours a week. It’s too difficult to remember what to call him and she’s embarrassed she will get it wrong in front of the other students.

What now? I want to make a formal complaint. Am raging tbh. Can someone tell me who I need to be contacting please? The school are totally woke and rainbow soaked. Thank you.

@BethDuttonsTwin
I hope you and your DD are doing ok and getting support from the school.

The idea that a child, or in fact an adult, who is autistic can just learn to deal with the cognitive dissonance in perceiving someone as one thing but then being asked to call them something else is ridiculous and shows no insight into the realities of how ND people see the world vs NT people.

DS is 10, going through the assessment process currently as likely ASD and what has become apparent as he’s got older is that he just doesn’t see the social rules that his peers are learning and following.

@BethDuttonsTwin ’s DD is trying ignore what her brain is telling her is true and override what she has almost certainly had to work at to learn and remember (namely that male people=mister) and that may well be putting her under huge strain and that’s before we add in any possible consequences of getting it wrong and anxiety around that. She cannot just ‘get over it’ any easier than I can be left handed or speak another language.

Of course, if I’m wrong Nitro and you have some magic way to help ND kids just accept stuff without NT take as read without having to learn and put in effort and mask their feelings or ways to help them or their parents with avoiding or managing the meltdowns when they can’t then I’d love to know the secret. It would make mine and DS’ lives a lot easier!

Ignore that poster - they swore blind that they’ve seen ‘Mx’ on multiple passports, which, as we established upthread, is utter, utter bobbins.

Oh, that was Nimbo, was it?

The idea that a child, or in fact an adult, who is autistic can just learn to deal with the cognitive dissonance in perceiving someone as one thing but then being asked to call them something else is ridiculous and shows no insight into the realities of how ND people see the world vs NT people.

Not to mention the absolute idiocy of 'your special need is unimportant, unnecessary, get over it, deal with it, live in the real world' in order to enable someone else's special need which you must respect utterly .

And a supposedly responsible, supportive adult, in a position of authority browbeating a vulnerable child. I bet even his mother doesn't love him.

This keeps coming up in the caring professions.

The demand to intimately examine a traumatised rape victim to validate chosen identity even though knowing the woman is very clear they want a biological female. No capacity to put the patient's need first or even to basically care about their feelings or distress: all about 'I want to get x out of this experience using you and your difficulties so shut up and lie back'.

The demand to do smear tests and intimate exams whether or not women willingly consent. The demand to provide rape counselling whether or not the woman willingly consents or has clearly expressed they would find talking to a male impossible and retraumatising however the male currently defines their inner sense of self.

Competency is a basic thing regarding how you identify. But it's getting hard to overlook a pattern here, which seems to be a difficulty caring/empathising with the service user or putting their needs above the wants of the service provider for their experience of work.

RegardLESS not regarding, sorry.

sorry if reality is inconvenient to you.

It is acceptable on passports

get over it

Get over it? 🤣🤣🤣
It's been proven that you're talking bollocks.
You are utterly shameless...

Upthread, people have linked to government guidelines on passports that explicitly contradict Nimbo's assertion. If anyone can be arsed, you can scroll back and read it several pages back.

Passports don’t have ANY titles!

Globally!

Nimbostratus100 · Today 16:15

It is acceptable on passports

What a supine answer.

Here you go, seeing as you seen to have conveniently ignored all the evidence posted on this very thread from page 11 onwards.

Nimbo wants it to be true, therefore, despite it being complete bollocks - ta dah! - it's true. 1.

1. Still complete and utter bollocks.

Link to page 11, seeing as it must be very hard to find without a signpost…🙄

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4750240-autistic-teen-told-to-call-male-ta-mx-not-sir-or-mr-name?page=11

No, we’re making a fuss over a child with a learning difficulty significant enough to require 25 hours of one to one support every week.
That’s all day, every day, in a school day.

That you are compelled to make up tall stories to elevate an adult man’s glittery new prefix over a disabled child’s right to access an appropriate education is, frankly, bizarre.

A child with ASD has got upset for no rational reason
How fucking DARE you?

This is a beyond ableist and stupid post.

I repeat from above (which you'd have seen if you'd bothered to read instead of pass by to mindlessly scold)

The idea that a child, or in fact an adult, who is autistic can just learn to deal with the cognitive dissonance in perceiving someone as one thing but then being asked to call them something else is ridiculous and shows no insight into the realities of how ND people see the world vs NT people.

You know fuck all about Autism, mate.

Not to mention the absolute idiocy of saying 'your special need is unimportant, unnecessary, get over it, deal with it, live in the real world' in order to enable someone else's special need which you must respect utterly.

If you expect everyone to care about, know about and cater for transgenderism, transgenderism is going to have to manage some fucks to spare for everyone else on the planet who also has needs.

Because patience is now getting bloody thin. This is a child and a grown man employed to care about her. Not to use her to meet his own needs.

Fgs. Now whinge on about how this is bigotry. The 'echo chamber' is between your ears mate. And its a grubby one that can't even manage compassion for a disabled child.

I'm glad have missed whatever was posted there! The rise in my BP from some of the balderdash posted previously was not good! Cannot still actually believe the shitey ableism that some thankfully few have posted!!

😫hope you get a resolution. I am.dreading being I this position at work. Minefield. I struggle to remember pupils' names. If they move places I call them.by the name of the previous occupant.