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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

How do you speak up without being called transphobic

314 replies

Enterusername111333 · 30/12/2022 01:04

I just feel so lost... I don't know how to voice my opinion without accusations so I just take the easy option. Where does it end?

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Itisbetter · 30/12/2022 01:14

If being “transphobic” means you voice concerns about trans related issues then it’s not a negative. Ask them what they mean and I guess reassure them that being interested and engaged doesn’t mean anything negative to them. Are they perhaps debatephobic?

DrMarciaFieldstone · 30/12/2022 01:15

I don’t care if they call me transphobic.

EvilBee · 30/12/2022 01:16

Hiya, token trans person here,

What did you get called transphobic about?

purpleboy · 30/12/2022 01:24

Op everything is transphobic, it's a overused meaningless term, most people recognize being called transphobic actually means being truthful.
More people are waking up to this nonsense though so the more conversations you can have the better. I've only met 2 people so far in really life who haven't agreed with me, and in one case the person in question soon changed her mind when faced with implications on her daughter ie shared changing rooms, school residential trips, and the other one was a teenager who hasn't actually applied any critical thought to what she was saying. When we got to the bones of it she ended up entirely agreeing with everything I said.
Keep talking the more sunlight the better.

EvilBee · 30/12/2022 01:51

purpleboy · 30/12/2022 01:24

Op everything is transphobic, it's a overused meaningless term, most people recognize being called transphobic actually means being truthful.
More people are waking up to this nonsense though so the more conversations you can have the better. I've only met 2 people so far in really life who haven't agreed with me, and in one case the person in question soon changed her mind when faced with implications on her daughter ie shared changing rooms, school residential trips, and the other one was a teenager who hasn't actually applied any critical thought to what she was saying. When we got to the bones of it she ended up entirely agreeing with everything I said.
Keep talking the more sunlight the better.

I remember the old trope "everything is homophobic" - turns out, they were right, but that old trope is being recycled for transphobia.

TooBigForMyBoots · 30/12/2022 01:58

You want to be called "woke" instead?

EvilBee · 30/12/2022 02:02

I mean, many of us who are not socially conservative consider 'woke' as a compliment..

How do you speak up without being called transphobic
purpleboy · 30/12/2022 02:20

Homophobia and transphobia are two very different things.
Gay people wanting equal rights, support it completely, transpeople wanting equal rights, support it completely, transwomen wanting access to women's single sex spaces, sports, scholarships etc.. do not support it at all.
It's transphobic to ask for same sex healthcare provider, it's transphobic to say I don't want my daughters to have to see penises in their female changing rooms, it's transphobic to believe incarcerated women shouldn't be locked up with rapists.
Anyone with any common sense can see these things are not transphobic, rendering the word useless when applied constantly in this way.

Sparklybutold · 30/12/2022 02:25

I was called transphobic for stating everything in the numerous scientific literature about how harmful trans meds are, the worrying trends, the erasure of what it IS to be a woman. I was called transphobic for stating I was GC. No discussion. My ass was hauled into a meeting where I was questioned. Trans ideology now is frankly dangerous.

Sparklybutold · 30/12/2022 02:26

@EvilBee transphobia and homophobia are not equivalent.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 30/12/2022 02:27

I remember the old trope "everything is homophobic" - turns out, they were right, but that old trope is being recycled for transphobia

Claiming that male people can be lesbians is extremely homophobic, because homosexuals are same sex attracted and no one can change sex.

Knowing that someone with a penis, or someone who has chosen to have their penis removed will still always be male, is not transphobic.

Men telling us their feelings or personal expression somehow make them women is pure misogyny.

Men telling us our category must now be mixed sex in order to accommodate their special 'gender' feelings is female oppression.

No man can know what it feels like to be a woman because his only reference is a man's idea of what he thinks a woman is based on sexist stereotypes and behaviours.

Sparklybutold · 30/12/2022 02:30

@EvilBee don't even get me started on AGP. Trans ideology is doing more harm for the trans community. I'm also interested to hear your thoughts on why TW dominate the conversation?

MargaretMead · 30/12/2022 02:51

Ridiculous isn’t it?

I regarded myself as a trans ally and am fairly gender non conforming but it is tiresome that any questioning, however reasonable and evidence based, will elicit howls of transphobia from activists and their allies.

Its a sad fact that penises are sometimes used weapons of war or instruments of torture. Some refugee women very sadly have this experience and they have self excluded from events in buildings that have mixed sex toilets, because they don’t feel safe. I have learned to be careful when planning events for them and had to turn a venue down for hire last summer because of its unisex toilets. When I told the venue why we couldn’t use them, the booking agent accused me of transphobia.

No, I just want these women who have been through hell to benefit from and feel safe participating in a social activity together. That means minimising the risk of encountering people with penises in the ladies loos (whether the penis owner is cis, trans, whatever).

RoaringtoLangClegintheDark · 30/12/2022 02:59

You don’t seem to be very aware of and attentive to issues of social justice when they concern the sex-based oppression of female people, and women’s consequently necessary sex-based rights, EvilBee.

My problem with “woke” is that it often means hideously misogynistic and regressive in practice - patriarchy rebranded, but still very much the same old patriarchy.

Are you that kind of “woke”? If you’re arguing for biologically male people to have privileges at the expense of biologically female people, and at the expense of our rights, then you are indeed. Perpetuating a society based on such a fundamentally male supremacist worldview is about as socially conservative as you can get.

If OTOH you’re fully aware of the extent and reality of sex-based oppression, and fully in favour of biologically female people having the unequivocal right to single sex spaces, services and sports where those provisions are necessary to us - and not trying to argue that some biologically male people should be allowed to access them and thus render them mixed sex - then we have no quarrel.

TerfranosaurusVagina · 30/12/2022 03:06

In today's society, if you are "woke",
Your balance, in the "Bank of Conscience" is broke.
In today's society, if transphobe's your label
It means, to critical thunk, you are able.

Sorry, I'm on a roll tonight.

Delphinium20 · 30/12/2022 04:16

I get sick of "woke" being bandied about, primarily by white people, as a way to either show off their virtue or slam others for wrongthink.

Like many things appropriated by the dominant class, woke was term created by Black people to be used by other Black peoples in the US to describe their unique situation of being conscious of the continued legacy of slavery. To be "awoke" to the reality that racism still exists.

Now it's been taken over by snotty young white kids while stamping their feet at women who say no. They don't like us because we remind them of their moms who are sick of putting up with their entitled bs.

OneMorePlant · 30/12/2022 04:45

Everything is transphobic. It will only get worse as long as people are to scared to speak up. If standing up for women's rights makes me tranphobic then i'll wear that condemnation with pride.

Though if you want you could try to act like you don't know what is going on and ask questions. Making people think about what they are saying sometimes helps others peak.

Boiledbeetle · 30/12/2022 05:07

@EvilBee No.I don't need to say it. I might not agree with you but that's better. More polite.

Thank you.

Boiled.

NotBadConsidering · 30/12/2022 05:22

You can’t speak up without being called transphobic, so the only thing you can do is to speak up and not care if you’re called transphobic.

Just always remember that the list of things that carry the accusation of transphobia are perfectly normal, scientifically sound facts and ethically sound beliefs held by most people, including those who accuse you of transphobia.

Furries · 30/12/2022 06:02

EvilBee · 30/12/2022 01:51

I remember the old trope "everything is homophobic" - turns out, they were right, but that old trope is being recycled for transphobia.

And the argument you’ve given is a lazy trope too.

Please don’t try to compare homophobia with safeguarding.

EvilBee · 30/12/2022 06:28

Sparklybutold · 30/12/2022 02:26

@EvilBee transphobia and homophobia are not equivalent.

The pain I get from being kicked for being perceived as a gay man are not the same as I get from being a trans woman? Are you suggesting that the latter is justified and I deserve it?

EvilBee · 30/12/2022 06:30

Safeguarding is attacking me for being a trans woman? Who exactly are you safeguarding when you're kicking me in the face, telling me that I shouldn't go to the police?

DogsAkimbo · 30/12/2022 06:37

EvilBee · 30/12/2022 06:30

Safeguarding is attacking me for being a trans woman? Who exactly are you safeguarding when you're kicking me in the face, telling me that I shouldn't go to the police?

I don’t believe a single person on here thinks you should be kicked, or harmed in any way. That’s a basic human right. Having single sex based spaces available is a woman’s right. That’s what we are protecting. They are two very different things.

DogsAkimbo · 30/12/2022 06:38

Delphinium20 · 30/12/2022 04:16

I get sick of "woke" being bandied about, primarily by white people, as a way to either show off their virtue or slam others for wrongthink.

Like many things appropriated by the dominant class, woke was term created by Black people to be used by other Black peoples in the US to describe their unique situation of being conscious of the continued legacy of slavery. To be "awoke" to the reality that racism still exists.

Now it's been taken over by snotty young white kids while stamping their feet at women who say no. They don't like us because we remind them of their moms who are sick of putting up with their entitled bs.

Yes. The word ‘woke’ has been appropriated, and also the word ‘woman.’

WeAreGerbil · 30/12/2022 06:45

I remember the old trope "everything is homophobic" - turns out, they were right, but that old trope is being recycled for transphobia

What? I came out as a lesbian in 1989 and I don't remember people saying everything is homophobic and if they did no one was silenced to the degree that we are now.

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