Women's rights general conversations

[Kucingsparkles]

This is an experimental thread, all input much appreciated!

There is so much excellent information and so many active discussions on FWR that I wondered if it would be useful to have a thread to sort of "cross-fertilise" between them - airing little thoughts or vignettes that wouldn't themselves merit their own thread, to highlight other posts/threads of particular interest or to point to notable developments on fast-moving threads so that casual observers know where to look.

(For example, "the X thread has meandered onto a fascinating discussion of Y" or "Poster P's amazing analysis on thread Z might have relevance to the scenario in thread W" or even "Random bloke asked me to smile while I was choosing onions, grr"- that sort of thing).

Right, bring on the flames or flowers! <cowers>

Unmumsnetty hugs from me, @CyanCyan and vent away!

@HatThatWearsYou wow, even on that short thread, the porn cheerleaders were quick to appear with their pom-poms of excuses!

@CyanCyan , so sorry to read about that. Why are so many men so incapable of empathy and looking outside themselves? Society gives men extremely low expectations for themselves in their relationships.

Re the AIBU… it would be interesting to look back at responses to a thread about porn from say, 20 years ago (was MN around 20 years ago? ). I seem to recall the replies to these kinds of threads were almost unanimously anti-porn even just 10 years ago when I started using mumsnet. Just because something is so widespread within a society doesn’t mean it’s morally sound and shouldn’t be questioned or challenged. It was outlandish to think of women having the vote, or practising medicine. Many women at the time even agreed. It didn’t make it ok or a desirable place to be.

And @HatThatWearsYou I think the analogy you made about abusive relationships was a really good point. I wonder how many women who participate in so-called ethical porn reach a point where they think, actually, I’m not happy about this and these videos circulating are causing me a great deal of distress but there’s nothing I can do about it. Revenge porn is a serious crime now that recognises the psychological harm done to the victim and can carry a two year sentence, yet there seems to be little consideration to the psychological damage done to women in the porn industry who might’ve been ok with something being distributed at one point but are now really not. And even if there’s an agreement in place with an ‘ethical porn’ company to remove videos at the woman’s (or man’s) request, there’s a good chance it will have been shared to other porn sites at which point it’s game over. These mega sites never seem to be held to account.

Arf! Just accidentally posted ‘May the Lord open ‘ on that porn thread instead of the Handmaid’s Tale thread. I had both pages open and somehow muddled them up.

Ha!

😳 at Sandi Toksvig being paid 40% of Stephen Fry’s salary.

And 😢😭😤 at the Report on the injuries for the women having to sell sex.
I remember this dawning on me in my early 20-s after being in absolute agony after sex, and my ex just waiting for it to subside so that he could have another go. It was awful, and he did not believe me/did not care.
I then read about how women working in brothels in the Victorian era rarely had more than one child because they were rendered infertile by the injuries and infections from the punters.

And the sheer horror of that still being perpetuated today. Fucking hell.

I think @CyanCyan has an excellent point. Many Men often seem to think they should Get sex
(just read the cringe interview with Bryan Adams in the Graun: who gets sex 27 times a month he wonders, slightly annoyed. What a fucking bellend)
as if it is owed them by anyone.

which is crazy, because I know for a fact that several men also understand that sex is a mutual act that is supposed to be enjoyable for both.

As some of you know I am on the periphery of the QI team, and I checked this statement by Sandi with the producer, who said it was never true. I can certainly believe that Stephen gave her an inflated idea of what his salary was so she may well have been under that impression. It may also be that she was paid less than him but not only 40% of his salary as she was a somewhat lesser celebrity than him and he had been in the job for 13 years by then, but I have no knowledge of actual figures.

@turbonerd thats horrific. It’s awful what women go through, and so much of it is never spoken of, never makes it beyond the bedroom.

That report on injuries to women as a result of men's beastliness has both enraged me and made me desperately sad for how women are treated. We are disposable to them.

And all that the women here have said about their treatments from the men who are meant to care about them.

Is anyone doing the CPS consultation about sex by deception regarding what sex you are? Just wondering if anyone has good links/points for it.

I've found this. Looks like a response is worth doing, although I'll only have a couple of hours to do it.

CPS consultation on guidance re sex by deception.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4641909-cps-consultation-on-guidance-re-sex-by-deception

Some light relief!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4696294-groundbreaking-news-hold-onto-your-hsts

Just seen this about JKR's latest project. She's wonderful.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4696347-beiras-place

Wow. That's wonderful.

What a lovely start for a Monday. JKR gets better and better.

I love the name and the legend behind it:

”Beira (pronounced By-ra) is the Scottish goddess of winter. She rules over the dark side of the year, handing over to her sister Bride when summer comes again. Beira represents female wisdom, power and regeneration. Hers is a strength that endures during the difficult times, but her myth contains the promise that they will not last forever.”

JKR is just amazing. That news really cheered me up this morning. It’s so shocking that it feels like a revolutionary act though - women needing single sex spaces to help recovery should not be in question!

Delighted for JKR. What a legacy one woman can leave.

I dispise the whole concept of gongs, but if anyone deserves one, JKR does.

My friend just sent me this https://youtube.com/shorts/tE2AtGGkC14?feature=share

Is this par for the course in this era? I have no idea what’s real and what’s satire these days. It’s very disturbing.

Reading the Righteous reaction to Beira's Place e.g. here: www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4696544-took-no-time-at-all-jkrs-discriminatory-service
for some reason made me think of the Old Place for the first time in days, and how there will be nobody and nowhere to discuss this newsworthy event on there. Fortunately for the Old Righteous, any coverage that they can't head-in-sand away, will be of the appropriately-framed Indie version (see above) or non-existent (see Grauniad), with all the Righteous bingo points neatly laid out. Not that, as I said, any of the Old Righteous will pretend to know anything about it.

If anyone hasn't read the thread about Jan Morris' family can I commend it to you.

There is also a link to an earlier thread. Such a relief to read it. I thought I was the only one who thought the books were bad and the behavior narcissistic.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4695399-sunday-times-article-by-jan-morriss-daughter?page=1

I can't believe that the CEO of Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre, is a Transwomen.

Believe it.

A male person who said that female rape survivors who can't access mixed-sex crisis services must "reframe their trauma" to accept males.

The same male person, IIRC, who had a massive strop when the law clarified that female survivors were entitled to female (rather than lady) medical examiners after they were raped.

Very Righteous.