For those of you for whom porn is a dealbreaker in relationships..

[Tuilpmouse]

... does that apply to all porn?... even softcore topless or nude photos (the type that used to be in lads mags)? Or is it reserved for hardcore stuff.

Are you asking if it is photos of models or trafficked women?

Do you you have an issue with trafficked women?

Tbh it's just fucking grim that men's sexual energy is expected to be spread around and not focused on the person they are with. Its just sad.
Women are expected to be faithful but men can do what they want, as long as they don't actually stick their dick in anyone.

Tbh the porn thing is problematic because it promotes women as a commodity to be used abused and sold. Men are perfectly able to use their imagination, as they have done in the past.

On the basis that it's obvious that anyone who is anti-porn wouldn't be ok with photos of trafficked women, then clearly models.

any man who uses porn is pathetic
if it's confined to what you describe as softcore, I'd add to that a bit immature or thoughtless and think there was a chance they might grow up
Any man of normal intelligence who uses anything else, has no excuse for not knowing the harm that arises to women, both directly and indirectly, in addition to which by all accounts he is likely to be crap in bed.

These links might interest you on the link between porn and human trafficking. The UN is the top one.

the actual wuestion really ahould be do some of you draw the line at a hisband / partner who gets off on watching women be raped.

www.unodc.org/unodc/en/human-trafficking-fund/human-trafficking-fund_projects.html

www.marylandchildrensalliance.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/05/SEXINDUSTRYTREASURES-TRAFFICKINGSTATS_STATISTICSDownload.pdf

humantraffickingsearch.org/the-connection-between-sex-trafficking-and-pornography/

@ConnieTucker

I'm not doubting that some porn is made with trafficked women, and clearly that's repugnant.... But there's a world of difference between watching a trafficked woman get raped and a topless model!

And the masses of women who also enjoy porn?

The vast majority of mainstream porn is nothing to do with trafficked women, the middle link you provided shows this nicely.

Porn might impact the lives of trafficked women with the data behind those who watch porn being more likely to use prostitutes who are a higher risk of being victims of trafficking, but it’s rare for mainstream porn to include someone who was trafficked, the main sites for free porn require verification and consent, it’s why porn hub had a lot of content removed after they put this policy in place.

evidence please.

Why are you asking though?

A topless woman isn't even considered porn these days. No men are looking at that stuff now as they can go on pornhub and see much more. So it's a totally pointless question

Maybe the question should be, assuming the porn is ethical, would that be ok?
I think it’s fine but would be interested to hear why ethical porn (no trafficking : free choice / etc) would be a deal breaker.

Yes it applies to all of it for me.

There's lots of stuff around that I have no links to hand for unfortunately. Studies do show that porn is harmful to both sexes though.

Apart from that @Burnamer in terms of ethical porn, can you buy consent? I don't think you can.

There's also the question of which women end up in porn and the sex trade sphere, it's majority is made up of women who are vulnerable.

There are also the testimonies of women who have escaped porn. They say that at the time when they were in porn they were vocal advocates for what they were doing and porn in general because it was a survival and coping mechanism. They recognise that it did them tremendous harm now they are free from it and are able to confront reality because they are free from it.

It's the same trend you see happening in women who have escaped abusive relationships and with a bit of distance are able to see it clearly for what it was.

Sorry for the derail.

Every man watches porn 🙄 … Mens minds work differently to women’s minds. Men are very visual and like visual stimulation sexually, that’s enough for a man to get his kicks, that’s why porn is part of masterbation for them, I don’t see this as cheating…

Women are much more complicated sexually, we need emotions, complex fantasies, connection and physical touch to turn us on as well as visual.

The issue becomes when porn becomes an addiction. If it’s something he does everyday then that’s too much, if it’s once a week or less I would say that’s the norm.

Also the thing that annoys me about porn is how it’s such bad education on how women actually gain pleasure from sex. I think men watch it and then think this is how sex should be done. Do these men even know what a clit is? 🤔

Do you mean like Spartacus and Emanuelle?

Ugh here come the ‘every man watches porn’ brigade. What gives them the nerve to think they speak for all men?!

How do people know every man (or women) does anything

I think porn is affairs for lazy people, why do people need to think everyone does it?, do they need to justify it to themselves?

@HatThatWearsYou my question was more theoretically really. If the porn being watched was ethical would it still be a problem? Is the issue solely the industry or do people feel jealousy?

If there were a hypothetical world where porn could truly be ethical I would consider it a form of cheating.

All.

After almost 40 years married I'm confident that I don't have to worry about this.

For all those who will say I'm naive, I think I know my husband better than you and some men don't use porn. (I know how these discussions go)

Here we go, first page. So predictable.

This is your life OP, how do you feel about it?

I think the only time porn can work in a relationship if it’s something you do together as a couple.

Not all sex workers are trafficking this is some weird rumour feminist make when they have never worked in the sex industry.
anyway I’m okay with porn as long as it isn’t everyday but ideally I would prefer a man who didn’t