Transman wants to join lesbian group...

[pattihews]

A couple of months ago in my local supermarket I encountered a petite person with a neat little beard around their jawline. I saw them out of the corner of my eye, didn't stop to look properly, but knew immediately from the stature and hips and gait and the proportions of the face that I was looking at a woman.

Now this individual has turned up at a lesbian-only, female-only event and wants to attend regularly. Some members of the group are welcoming, others feel indignant that this woman has rejected womanhood and wants to be called by a male name, yet also wants the privilege (as we view it) of being part of an exclusive group of same-sex attracted females.

How have other lesbian groups dealt with this situation?

I feel very sorry for anyone in that situation (know one slightly, and suspect there are going to be a lot more in future). They need therapy suited to their own needs, and if possible a support group of other people with the same day-to-day problems. If they manage to detransition, stabilise the hormones, return to living life as a woman, then they'll probably be able to join a Lesbian group where nobody knows they went wandering down a blind alley for a few years.

But not while they're still loaded with enough testosterone to grow a beard.

There are lots and lots of other things they can do and get involved with, and stuff that isn't focussed on their own image would be a good way to reconnect with the wider world.

I agree.

Thank you for everything you said Nilshammer. And I am going to say it again ... To the women here who believe that lesbians need to be kind to biological men, practice what you preach. If you are 100% straight and ONLY are attracted to men, here's your challenge. Go down on a trans man and come back here and THEN tell us what to do. I am so disappointed when women toss lesbians under the bus this way, it's like you think your opinion will make us think "Oh right, if I was kind I'd be rape fodder"

In addition to what Nils said,
As the OP explained, there are multiple other groups of mixed sex attendees with various choices of identity where this person could go for all the support they want.

may I point out that the primary argument in this thread from other posters as to why the OP's group should be open to transmen was... "all the other groups I go to are".

So it's clear. There is loads and loads of T-inclusive provision. This is a group for lesbians who are happy being lesbians, and nowhere else serves that niche, according to the OP's very own critics.

Which means in essence: arguing that this one group should change is to argue that the main purpose of lesbians is to provide nice experiences for people with gender identities.

And that lesbians not embracing this are not really behaving well and ought to stop it.

Rule of Misogyny no 5: if women are not being useful to men (or at the very least those identifying as men) they are worthless.