I'm not a woman - which facilities should I use

[Whatiswrongwithmyknee]

Genuinely interested to hear what supporters of gender ideology would recommend here. I am biologically female but do not identify as a woman. I am officially trans though in reality I don't think I am the sort of person Stonewall meant to refer to in their definition of trans (I am gender critical - which for those who have been misled by some made-up definitions, to me means that sometimes sex, rather than gender, matters. It is not an anti-trans stance).

The question is - which facilities should I use? I should not be in the ladies if that is defined by identity but using the men's does not feel right either. How do gender ideologists suggest I negotiate this?

Tbh every time I’ve been to female public toilets there’s always wee on the seat, a few cubicles where the toilet is full of shit, and they are horrible !!!

Just forget ‘gender ideology’, who cares what Stonewall says.

Use the womens toilets.

Don’t overthink/wind everyone up.

Non-binary is bullshit.
Its mainly spicy straights that opt into others oppression while thinking it makes them special and not-boring-"cishetronormative"( for even writing that). So what if you have rejected female stereotypes, every other women on here has, we don't need to make up a personality because of it. If its makes you happy crack-on but in the real world no-one cares, but do not make demands on us because of your fantasy.
You're female, you know you are, we know you are. Nobody gives a shit where you shit.

Don't give a shit how dirty or messy women's Lois can be as long as dick owner or former dick owners stay out.

Non binary is, indeed, tedious self regarding bullshit

Sorry OP, you tried to make a valid point but perhaps you should have waited until a few more people had had their morning coffee and could read between the lines!!

However I'd feel mis gendered if anyone assumed that because I go to the ladies I identify as a woman.

The only thing I'd assume if I saw you in the women's loos is that you need to use those facilities for some reason. I would not assume that you are female, I'd recognise you as female. I would make no assumptions about your sense of self because it is irrelevant and none of my business.

I suppose that if you came in decked with symbols of some ideology or faith I might assume that you were an adherent of that ideology or faith, but it would still be irrelevant to me. A female who needs to use the toilets should use the women's loos.

You worry too much about what others might think about you. What they think is their problem, not yours.

If you are biologically male, whether you look "scary" or not, whether you take female hormones or not, whether you have had genital surgery or not, whether you are "beautiful" or not - you need to use the male toilet.

You are male.

Ffs use the female toilets. If there was ever an example of a first world problem, this is it.

"However I'd feel mis gendered if anyone assumed that because I go to the ladies I identify as a woman. "

Yawn

also genuine question.. why do you feel uncomfortable when you go to ladies loos? Surely, toilet is just place where we can “do our business” in private. Having female counterparts means it’s much easier to wee in a toilet rather than urinal. Plus, female loos have lockable cubicles so it doesn’t really matter who uses them. I think you try to create a problem when none is there.

I think it may be worth speaking to someone about this anxiety you're experiencing (and no I don't mean conversion therapy) It's not healthy being this worried about using public toilets. You don't see yourself as a man so are uncomfortable using the men's but you also don't see yourself as a women so can't use the women's either. I just want a toilet that I am safe in and can relieve myself. I don't understand all the overthinking you are doing.

If being momentarily misgendered in other people's heads is the worst thing that ever happens to you, you have it good.

If you sit go in the ladies toilets. If you stand then it’s the gents. Everything else is irrelevant.

I identify as a carrot!

I find it odd that you are secure enough to denounce your gender, which is entirely your choice so and I'm glad you are being true to yourself but....then you are seeking approval for which toilet to use?

Just use a toilet!

I do not ever want people to feel justified in assuming that I align myself with sexist stereotypes just because of the facilities I use.

Gosh yes, I am mortified that people assume I like glittery pink nail varnish and can't change a car tyre every time I use the women's toilets.

I mean, obviously everyone is looking at ME and thinking about ME and my fabulous and superior gender identity, instead of just going for a pee.

🙄🙄🙄

What do you mean you don't want "people to feel justified in assuming that I align myself with sexist stereotypes just because of the facilities I use"?

I'm not being facetious, but do you genuinely think that if you use the women's loos that people assume you enjoy baking/have children/get your nails done/scream when you see a spider?

What on earth are these sexist stereotypes you're talking about? And why are you reinforcing these stereotypes by claiming that loos for people of your sex are only for those who buy in them?

How do gender ideologists suggest I negotiate this?

I'm not a gender ideologist - and my understanding of those who are are that they follow queer theory and Stonewall.

I'm just a boring biological woman who learned her feminism in the second wave.

I suggest you use the women's, or, if there is something wrong with your knee, possibly the disabled.

Afterall, all you want to do is have a wee, surely, and this should not be about D&M feelings about identity. Get in, wee, wash hands and come out. Job done.

I think females should use women's loo's and males should use men's.

I have absolutely no problem with transmen or non binary females using women's facilities.

I assumed the OP was taking the piss, to highlight the pile of old bollocks that is gender ideology.

@ReeseWitherfork

why?

if someone (not saying the OP does) looks like a man, why shouldn't they use the mens toilets instead of making women & especially children, uncomfortable in what USED to be a safe space?

@Whatiswrongwithmyknee

However I'd feel mis gendered if anyone assumed that because I go to the ladies I identify as a woman. I am not messing here. I genuinely now feel uncomfortable wherever I go

Seriously? FGS. You'd feel 'misgendered'
no one using the toilets spends that long giving a flying fuck what you choose to be, go into the mens if you're going to scare small children in the ladies. Go in the ladies if men are going to scare you. Just go to the bloody toilet & stop naval gazing.

Genuine Question:
you are female, you were born female, why can't you just be female & dress & do as you please, like the rest of us? Without all the angst. I don't wear dresses, I don't wear makeup, I don't do much at all
'typically female' I just get on with my life, being me. Why is that so hard to do

You claim to have kids, op. If you have daughters, are you happy with them going in on their own to a space where there might be a man with his cock out. Regardless of his spinny skirt or glitter nail polish

Fight for a third space or use the toilets for females as you're biologically female.

But why on earth would you think that most women align themselves with sexist stereotypes....?? That's incredibly offensive to a lot of women.

I am a woman, a female, born in a female body (cis gender if you prefer that term). I don't wear makeup. Never played with dollies. Love power tools. Play football. Not interested in clothes.

None of which makes me less of a woman.

Suggesting that all women are of a certain mould or description is part of what's created this mess in the first place and is frankly patriarchal of you.