I'm not a woman - which facilities should I use

[Whatiswrongwithmyknee]

Genuinely interested to hear what supporters of gender ideology would recommend here. I am biologically female but do not identify as a woman. I am officially trans though in reality I don't think I am the sort of person Stonewall meant to refer to in their definition of trans (I am gender critical - which for those who have been misled by some made-up definitions, to me means that sometimes sex, rather than gender, matters. It is not an anti-trans stance).

The question is - which facilities should I use? I should not be in the ladies if that is defined by identity but using the men's does not feel right either. How do gender ideologists suggest I negotiate this?

I think based on a lot of the replies you’re better off making sure you go to the loo before you leave the house, don’t drink anything and keep trips short then you should be ok until you get back home. Whatever you do will upset someone it seems.

@lborgia I feel for you if you don't have men in your life that are interested in female perspectives. And that you don't seem to have trans people in your life either in order to better understand. I could use any of the trans people who are my friends or family to discuss this as all are unique and different.

Gender ideology is not logical so I am not sure if you are actually expecting a reasonable answer op! In any case, as you have shown, everyone has a sex, not everyone has a gender identity (I don’t either). I use the women’s facilities because I am a woman i.e. I am female and I believe (as do most people) that a woman is female.

take PanPacificBallroomChampion's advice

In the nicest possible way, why would i give a toss how you 'identify' if you are a stranger in a public toilet?

I'm not interested in your religious views, your star sign, how you vote, your blood group, whether you watch Netflix, or anything other than whether you are in the correct single sex facilities or not.

Nonsense, it's always obvious.

I wonder if the OP manages to feel more of a woman when she is bleeding from her vagina and needs to change her sanitary protection so goes into a woman’s toilet , or does she worry that people will still mis gender her and simply assume she is a woman even when her body is expressing her womanhood is a very visceral manner? What a mind fuck.

Genuine question: what is the harm caused to you by a thought in an unknown woman's head?

Very good point @Notesfromtheunderground . I think if there are third spaces then they should perhaps be of the same traditional public toilet design as well - hand-basin area and the 7/8ths cubical doors.

As to your question OP - as others have said biological women should use ladies' loos.

Sounds like you are not comfortable using public toilets at all unless they are mixed use.

Go to the loo before you go out.

I am with you @Whatiswrongwithmyknee ... I cannot identify out of my oppression and I sure as hell do not want anyone assuming that I identify into it. I do not want to be defined by my sexed body but I recognise that others define my by it and assign expectations and roles to it, and J reject those assumptions, expectations and assigned roles.

There is evidence going back to Sparta and Athens linking population balance that favour males with the lower status of females.. we have to be able to count males and females in all parts of our lives so we can strive towards raising the status of females in all areas.

Not at all. Im not confortable with the mens because I don't identify as a man. I am non binary also according to stonewall definition. I've borne two children so am legitimately biologically female. However I'd feel mis gendered if anyone assumed that because I go to the ladies I identify as a woman. I am not messing here. I genuinely now feel uncomfortable wherever I go.

Really, what in earth does NB really mean, do you not think the whole thing is ridiculous really, do you honesty really think that NB is a real thing? Sorrry I hope that's not hurtful, but you are clearly a women, gender non conforming maybe, but still a women...

Spot on 👍

This x 2

No one else using the loos is remotely interested in your gender, they are just using the lav, washing their hands and leaving. Are you busily assuming people's gender when out and about in a manner that affects them?

According to Stonewall definition. A couple of the founders of Stonewall have disowned the organisation because of their extreme nonsense

Sorry but this is bollocks and has every relation to science. If you do a DNA test on the OP, who has given birth to two DC, she will be clearly female. The science is VERY clear and unless the individual is intersex (and I accept that intersex individuals do exist), then humans are biologically male or female. Biology doesn't care about someone's feelings - they may feel like a cat or an alien or a potted plant, but that does not make them one.

Wasn't there a tv documentary where a transwoman took a brain scan. It didn't show anything.

If it did brain scans would be part of the diagostic process .

Using the loo doesn't need to be a big statement about identity. If your sex is female and those facilities meet your needs, then go ahead and use them. I'm not wondering about the inner life of other random people I may cross paths with using public loos. I am generally just getting on with my day and hoping to find loo roll and a clean seat!

*If you are biologically male, whether you look "scary" or not, whether you take female hormones or not, whether you have had genital surgery or not, whether you are "beautiful" or not - you need to use the male toilet.

You are male.*

@Emotionalsupportviper if someone is fully transitioned and looks very much like a woman, why would they go to the male toilet? 🤨 I hate the new trans ideas but I'm fully on board with the old ones.
Respectful transwomen who have fully transitioned and don't look male at all are as vulnerable as me and need the same protections as me

Love this comment!

Wasn't there a tv documentary where a transwoman took a brain scan. It didn't show anything.

Not even a brain?

Lol!

but do you go to the one of your actual star sign or the one you identify most with?

I would not use a toilet if it was gender neutral and would not feel comfortable or safe doing so, I think a blanket statement that it is better for everyone is very far from the truth. I would much rather go home or somewhere else than do this.