I think the conditioning for women to be kind/accommodating/pleasing/put others first/be agreeable is deeply ingrained- in our individual psyche as well as culturally.
I know for myself that I have a growing inner conflict around this as I get older and know myself (and how the world works) better.
I notice that as I become more empowered- I disagree, assert myself, or express unpopular opinions more freely. When I do, often experience a visceral, shame-like response when others react negatively or with surprise to this- and the pull to go 'back into my box' can be so strong!
Part of the fascination of the current debate for me is the admiration and inspiration I feel for the strong, courageous women speaking out; because think they mirror aspects of myself I am struggling to express.
I think because I am becoming more conscious of the unconscious conditioning at play in my own behaviour and feelings, I am able to recognise the courage and power these women are showing. Where some women are not aware of this I think they feel a discomfort, even hatred for these women that they don't understand.
In Jungian psychology, when we are unconscious of the drives that motivate us (eg to be kind), and we reject (unconsciously) our desire/need to be assertive/powerful, for example, these become our 'shadow' traits and we can project these negatively onto others and want to attack them.
I can see this conflict in my self mirrored in society as a whole, and particularly in this current cultural conflict where there are so many women villifying or even attacking other women for being powerful, angry, assertive etc.
For millennia, we know that the archetype of the powerful, challenging, non- confirming woman has been rejected, feared and vilified (the witch). And I have been shocked to realise how much this is still ongoing despite the gains of feminism.
What's happening now has also really highlighted for me how this can be a personal inner drama that plays out as much as a cultural one.