So tired of people expecting me to have a certain opinion because I am Black.

[Namerci]

I really need to vent. I am so f... tired of always having to be the good black girl who is oblivious , have no opinion and loves everyone. YESS I only care about dancing, and of course I am super bubbly and fun. But somewhat, never, have an opinion that's not regarded as "tolerant".

2 of my friends (white) I, were talking about Emmanuel Macron ( Hating on the president is a national sport).

One of them starting discussing about how she wants surrogacy in France legal because it would make things more equal for gay men and trans women ( No mention of women who have infertility issues).

I told her that I am against it, because it trivializes the danger of child birth and would only lead to the exploitation of poor women. I added, gay men and trans women can (if there's no underline condition) can have children biologically.

Then of course arrived what I call "the black talk" :

• But it is racism against transwomen
• I thought black people were more open minded because they are subject to intolerance

I am married to a white man. One of my friend said " Oh interracial marriage was illegal at some point, so you wouldn't be pregnant if people didn't change their minf, why refuse to others what you have
I got angry and responded:
"Because I can get f**ing pregnant. I am not a man. Was the father Asian, Black, Native American, Mixed, makes no difference. I have no fertility problems so any adult "healthy" human man can get me pregnant."

Then I also made a point that they can adopt if they so want a child. Friend said " Adopting in France is hard, so gay men or transwomen would have to go for African or Asian babies,they also have the right to have biological babies".

I just left after that. So African or Asian babies are second best boohoo , poor white people. It isn't African/Asian babies fault if women's death during labour is more prevalent in their homeland. Nor if white babies are the state's property.

The black talk just continued over texting, from the slavery thing to black people are all left wings and should support minorities. No. I don't support the exploitation of women's body which will benefit men ( Gay or Transwomen). 2 men cannot have a biological child, neither can a biological men.

I am not only black I am also a woman. My race is always used against me to undermine my opinion. It p... me off so badly.

Sorry this is just a rant

It’s an incredibly powerful rhetorical strategy that is being employed against both white women (‘privileged white cis women’) and black women (traitors). It’s dishonest and divisive. Solidarity.

You're friends can't see the irony in telling you what you should think can they?

That’s truly shocking. Telling you how to think and behave! Seeking to correct and educate you!

Tell them to get to fuck

I really feel for you, OP. It must be infuriating.

"Please don't bring my race into this, it's disrespectful"

Every time.

Well, on the other hand, it must be horrible to always be careful about everything you say because you'd be considered a bigot.

Yup! The traitor thing is real. "You think you're white". Nope.

It’s just another form of domination of women.

That sounds really anger-inducing. I'm sorry you're having to deal with that.

Christ.
These people are your friends why?

And they have continued over text? I am sorry that you have to deal with that too.

You're not ranting - it sounds exhausting.

💐

I hear you. I have been ostracised by the (all white, except for me) senior management team I'm on at work because I don't think in the correct way (think hard-left activist position) about my identity and skin colour, apparently. Ironically, this all happened while we were working on an "inclusion" policy.

You're only allowed (by white people) to subscribe to a narrow political position if you're not white, it seems, OP.

Poor you that f*ing sucks! It reminds me of rule 7 "Women must always be grateful to men for everything" but you're constantly getting a double whammy.

Vent away please. I got so pissed off at having to be nice all the time when I worked in retail and I they say I don't know the half of it but I can relate to that fixed smile/grimace moment.

Your friends are thick tossers. The whole black traitor thing is just offensive, gaslighting nonsense.

Yes. It did, like this following (translated) text : Omg I am so shocked. You are so extroverted and funny. I can't believe you have racist white people opinion. No they can't have children because having it like cis hetero people will be like raping them. They are women and want to get pregnant. White people use to rape black slaves before. It would be the same."

I don't know if it is the same in the UK. But in France white women are always the ones promoting this transwomen are women thing. Sometimes I am on the edge of joining the far right wing tbh

You see it everywhere now, TV, Magazines,school awareness week. Why are they not having FGM, domestic violence, poorer women exploitation , women/girl's body functions awareness. I know grown ass women that still don't use the word vulva , vagina an uretra.

Rants are welcome on this board; misogyny and subjugation of women is infuriating, tiring and distressing, and we all need to let off steam sometimes.

Solidarity, and I'm sorry to hear the bullshit you have been subjected to.

It's not your job to educate them.

There are different kinds of oppression operating in society.

There should not be a hierarchy of 'oppressions'.

People can be affected by more than one kind of oppression i.e. on grounds of race, disability, age etc.

Surely the aim of thinking and compassionate people should be to get rid of the suffering and oppressions.

I am a single mother, with a disability, heterosexual woman over fifty who is living in an area which is defined as 'multiple economic deprivation'.

It annoys me greatly when someone (in the past my teenage DD) - in her 'I know better' kind of style - tries to construct a hierarchy of oppressions in their head - i.e 'you are priviledged because you are white, went to college etc)..

well, yes, I am - but in other ways I am not - because I quite clearly see that other oppressions affect me - including being a survivor of domestic abuse.

People need to be aware of their biases - everybody has them. Perhaps if you choose to talk to these people at all - just point that out to them?

or priviledged because I am a CIS woman.

I refuse to use that term. I am a woman.

There's an article by Brendan O'Neill in Spiked about an American black judge being scorned for not having the permitted opinions:

"Why has Clarence Thomas become the target of so much flak following the Supreme Court’s overturning of Roe v Wade? It’s because he’s black. It’s because, as someone with black skin, he is not meant to hold conservative views on issues like abortion. In the eyes of the furious woke agitators who are haranguing Thomas even more than they are the other Roe-sceptical justices, he has not only made a bad legal decision – he has also betrayed his race. His sin is twofold: he has undermined the right to abortion and he has failed in his racial duty to nod unquestioningly along to every ‘progressive’ idea. He’s a racial transgressor, a bad black man, and therefore he must be reprimanded even more severely than the white folk on the Supreme Court. Ladies and gentlemen, behold the scourge of woke racism."
www.spiked-online.com/2022/06/26/clarence-thomas-and-the-racism-of-the-woke-elites/

God poor you. You are just you, you aren’t their pet poster child. They’re trivialising racism and slavery, falsely equating entirely different things and are logically bereft. Your opinions are not “racist white” person’s opinions - you’re black. So your opinions are one black person’s opinion. Weirdly, not all black people / women / insert-category-here people have the same opinions!

Agree with this.
This cis privilege is a crock of shit. In the usa they have wade roe and we are supposed to buy that being cis is some huge privilege.

I cant cope with trans conversations in real life

THANK YOU! I don't understand why those White women expect me to relate to biological men more than women?

Black people are not the ambassador of everyone. Now, the LGBT community always use our past, history, struggle to attract sympathy. Why is that a 0.00001% of the male population need is more important than those of the 50% of world's population?

When you are a black person in a non-black country, your race becomes your sole identity. Unless you are the desired stereotype of funny, loud, ILOVREVERYONE clown, you are a racist white wannabe.

@Namerci unfortunately france is still quite racist and this is how it comes out (I’m French and I’ve had many discussions with family and friends around that…..).
They don’t even see it because it’s so entrenched

But surely if you follow your friends (hard of) thinking by bringing the slave trade into this debate, logically you, as a black women, should absolutely be the strongest of opponents to surrogacy and the use of disadvantaged womens bodies for the benefit and profit of others at the expense of their own physical and mental health (and even life in rare cases).

Your friends are idiots!

Bloody hell, @Namerci , that sounds exhausting to deal with. Vent away! I'm sorry that people are being absolute arseholes to you, and expecting you to conform to their ideas of who you should be and how you should think instead of who you actually are. And racesplaining to you - ugh.

I hope you find some kindred spirits in you locality - but in the meantime, we're here!