So tired of people expecting me to have a certain opinion because I am Black.

[Namerci]

I really need to vent. I am so f... tired of always having to be the good black girl who is oblivious , have no opinion and loves everyone. YESS I only care about dancing, and of course I am super bubbly and fun. But somewhat, never, have an opinion that's not regarded as "tolerant".

2 of my friends (white) I, were talking about Emmanuel Macron ( Hating on the president is a national sport).

One of them starting discussing about how she wants surrogacy in France legal because it would make things more equal for gay men and trans women ( No mention of women who have infertility issues).

I told her that I am against it, because it trivializes the danger of child birth and would only lead to the exploitation of poor women. I added, gay men and trans women can (if there's no underline condition) can have children biologically.

Then of course arrived what I call "the black talk" :

• But it is racism against transwomen
• I thought black people were more open minded because they are subject to intolerance

I am married to a white man. One of my friend said " Oh interracial marriage was illegal at some point, so you wouldn't be pregnant if people didn't change their minf, why refuse to others what you have
I got angry and responded:
"Because I can get f**ing pregnant. I am not a man. Was the father Asian, Black, Native American, Mixed, makes no difference. I have no fertility problems so any adult "healthy" human man can get me pregnant."

Then I also made a point that they can adopt if they so want a child. Friend said " Adopting in France is hard, so gay men or transwomen would have to go for African or Asian babies,they also have the right to have biological babies".

I just left after that. So African or Asian babies are second best boohoo , poor white people. It isn't African/Asian babies fault if women's death during labour is more prevalent in their homeland. Nor if white babies are the state's property.

The black talk just continued over texting, from the slavery thing to black people are all left wings and should support minorities. No. I don't support the exploitation of women's body which will benefit men ( Gay or Transwomen). 2 men cannot have a biological child, neither can a biological men.

I am not only black I am also a woman. My race is always used against me to undermine my opinion. It p... me off so badly.

Sorry this is just a rant

Your friends sound like utter idiots. Yes, it's the new woke racism - black people are the best, as long as they have the "correct" opinions, otherwise they're "white adjacent" or even "white supremacists". It's happening everywhere - look at Biden saying that if you didn't vote democrat, "you ain't black".

Sorry you had to deal with this OP, these ‘friends’ are rude, insulting and honestly not that bright, nor are the open-minded as they clearly didn’t listen to you.

Don’t waste any more energy on them, they don’t respect you. I hope you find some better friends, they really do sound awful.

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry you have to put up with this shit on top of the standard "because you're female" shit.

Your friends sound like modern day missionaries condescending to "educate" those they perceive as their inferiors. Plus ça change...

I despise ad hominem guilt trips even more than I despise average ad hominem attacks; they add nauseating piety to irritating fallacy.

Thank you. They're no longer be my friends. Especially woman1. She keeps texting me like crazy.

Do white liberals realise that not all transwomen are white ? Honestly, black transwomen are the worst. Everything I'd be ridiculed for :Hairstyles, being loud , being bossy ,nails , makeup. The bio transgirl is going to be applauded for.

If black women are bossy, have long nails or braids :GHETTO GHETTO. A bio black man has it: Aww so feminine. YESS QUEEN. SLAAAY.

I have watched so many videos of trans people saying that they do no support BLM because they don't fight for black trans women. So now they don't know understand the difference between race and gender. If normal black people didn't fight for their rights, they wouldn't be crying about not being able to be pregnant as men.

They get to chose what's cool. Hair,clothes, heels, makeup.

Everytime I have a political talk, my race is always brought up. I am called a bounty/oreo ,white woman in disguise, "Oh you were a white woman in another life". So , only white women have negative opinions of certain aspects of gender. THIS IS SAID BY OTHER WHITE PEOPLE.

Bio man*

It must be exhausting having to go through life with everything you say or do being policed by others, based on the colour if your skin. I marvel at the hypocrisy of those who love to talk about diversity but assume that back people are a homogeneous group who think alike and share the same ideas.

If anyone says But it is racism against transwomen then it's time to mention Rachel Dolezal, the white American woman who claimed to be black, and was taken as such by many people, and who even may have deluded herself that it was true, simply because she wanted it to be true.

And then ask, so if people were rightfully offended by what Rachel Dolezal did, can they be offended by so-called transwomen? And if there's a difference, maybe there's prejudice involved, but not on the part of those who won't accept that white people can be black, or male can be female. If black people's suffering has earned them the right to define their group, have women earned nothing similar?

Then watch the enemy retire from the field in confusion.

Your friends sound fucking awful in so many ways.

OP I feel your pain

people are often shocked by my views, to the point I stopped sharing them quite a while ago

many people, regardless of skin colour, feel I should have a different opinion because their perception is that my ancestors were oppressed.

I can't put my finger on it, but I have a great sense of "deliberately causing division" in this era. But I also felt it in Tony Blair's day, when suddenly culture began to equal skin colour.

glad you posted this as I rarely speak about it.

It's extraordinarily arrogant and offensive for these holier than thou white women to weaponise your race against you to shut your views down.

Still texting you sounds like harassment.

So sorry you experienced this OP.

Your friends aren't liberal, nor are they tolerant.

They are racists, trying to weaponise your skin colour to "thought police" you.

So many of these damn liberal people don't understand the origin of intersectional feminism (coined by Kimberlé Crenshaw - a black woman) and think it's about being inclusive.

It's not.

It's a Venn diagram of decreasing area that highlights the multiple discriminations some women face.

The only inclusive element of intersectional feminism is that it includes every person with XX chromosomes, but within that you have women who also suffer oppression through race, poverty, sexual orientation and even thorough being a transman.

Your post reminded me of the interview Tessa Sanderson gave on TV yesterday about TW in sport. She was asked if she felt sorry for TW who would no longer be able to compete and I mentally high fived her when she said "no".

Tessa was an exceptional athlete in her day and sadly even then experienced racist abuse. Yet she's supposed to be sad for people like Emily and Lia who want to cheat on the basis of "discrimination".

It's a false equivalence and it absolutely enrages me.

You deserve better friends.

Very very good point. I agree. I used to hate her. BUT, transraciality to me ismore legit than transexuality.

They say gender is a social construct, and that they felt/feel like girls. What feeling is that ?! The only time I feel like a woman is during menstruation & now pregnancy.

Rachel Dolezal on the other hand, said she felt connected to Black American culture. Culture can be experienced , through food, language, traditions & so on. She changed her name.

Another example is Martin Big, a German woman who didn't like her white skin and decided she now wants to be black. She has had melanin injections, changed her name. Everyone called her crazy. She probably has body dysmorphia BUT it is more believable to feel connected to a culture/its people than a whole biological gender.There are not a "women ethnicity , language, country, racial feature, names, food, clothings"

I am black, and feel part of the French culture. Those are tangible things, unlike " feeling like a woman".

The only problem with transraciality is that it can only happen one way. People like Dolezal claiming they're black, while I'll never be able to be white if I wanted to.

Eloquently said.

"But surely if you follow your friends (hard of) thinking by bringing the slave trade into this debate, logically you, as a black women, should absolutely be the strongest of opponents to surrogacy and the use of disadvantaged womens bodies for the benefit and profit of others at the expense of their own physical and mental health (and even life in rare cases).

Your friends are idiots!"

This- and it just sounds like forced teaming to me.

"Everytime I have a political talk, my race is always brought up. I am called a bounty/oreo ,white woman in disguise, "Oh you were a white woman in another life". So , only white women have negative opinions of certain aspects of gender. THIS IS SAID BY OTHER WHITE PEOPLE."

That is jaw droppingly racist.

She carried on texting you?!

This sounds like harassment to me.

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

Yup. She is relentless. Apparently "transphobia" is rooted in anti-Black racism. Like wtf does that even mean?

Us black women are not biological women ?

@powershowerforanhour as bad is this sound, I used to play along the "tolerant" card when I was younger. Because I wanted to be accepted. Now that I am older, I realise that those "white allies" are worst because they don't realise how racist they are. It is pretty racist to their own race too.

I think it's time to count up the number of texts sent, and just reply with that. Every time she continues to do it, reply with the adjusted total. Then just block her.

You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into and it's not your job to educate her. It especially isn't your job when she is treating you with such contempt.

OP, solidarity. Your friends are massively unreasonable.

Your friends are being ridiculous and unreasonable; sadly, you're not alone in experiencing the kind of racism that says "you're black, so you must think this". Men like John McWhorter are on the receiving end of the same shit, but without the additional sexism of course.

Clarence Thomas is scorned because all of his views are ultra conservative, to include access to birth control and the legality of gay marriage. I've watched his opinions for over twenty years and he consistently works to uphold the patriarchy in all of its manifestations. There isn't enough scorn in the world.

OP - your 'friends' are unbelievably rude, ignorant and crass.

This is where I think we have to be somewhat tolerant. Clarence Thomas shouldn't be getting (some of) the criticism he receives, but I've seen plenty of references to "handmaidens" here upon this very spot over time, and is that fair either? If we want to claim people are free, then we have to let them have their own opinions, even if we totally disagree. (No, I haven't read Dworkin on "RIght Wing Women" and I don't know what she said.)

But I have heard an American joke, "A black person voting Republican is like a turkey voting for Thanksgiving". I'm not sure how to respond to that.