Are the wife and children really fine?

[DancingBarefootOnIce]

A man I used to be close friends with recently came out as a transwoman on Facebook. I was a bit surprised as when I knew them in their 20s they were just a typical man. They’re now mid 30s and married to a woman with three children.

Anyway in their post the second sentence was something along the lines of “Don’t worry my wife and children are fine”. I’ve seen it before in stories like this or when someone comes out as gay.
It’s almost like there’s going to be an accusation of homophobia or transphobia if they’re not alright with it. It just doesn’t feel right. If my partner or father came out with something like that it would change so many things in thinking about past relationships etc.

Coercing women into sex they don't want on the basis that it would make them better people is such old, regressive shit.

There are pages and pages of testimony on this board from women saying what this sort of situation is really like, the trans widows threads have 4,500 posts.

Bearing that in mind I'm not sure of the merit of threads like this that debate it as a hypothetical. Just read the words of the women who have been through it.

@ElaineFuchs I appreciate you're trolling and all but can I just say that Blanchard did not have a 'control group' because he was not claiming to do a control group study. His book is clearly written on the basis of years of patient observation in the field. Perhaps you are thinking of the now thoroughly debunked study which claimed to be a control group study identifying differences between 'transwomen' brains and 'cis male' brains, which not only lacked a control group but even made a prior assumptions, thus completely disqualifying itself of any scientific and empirical validity.

i'd also like to point out to you that the concept of bisexuality is now thoroughly castigated as transphobic within the best TRA circles because it implies the existence of only two genders. The only ethical sexuality to have, in TRA circles, is pansexuality. Please cleanse yourself of your own transphobia before casting aspersions of transphobia at others.

Of course they're not fine. How could they be?

Reading the Trans widow threads I would suggest that the trans woman is often delusional suggesting everyone is 'fine' and happy with the changes, in reality they have no choices at all and have to accept otherwise they might be labelled transphobic. It's all about the man at the end of the day.

It's always all about the man.

My friend is doing a part-time uni course. Everyone claims to be pan sexual. There's no evidence for this since they are all in heterosexual or gay relationships. My DD has friends who are socially non-binary or socially gender fluid. They all present entirely as their birth sex.
Either it's trendy to say this or young people are scared of being labelled transphobic. It's madness.

I know someone who came out as a transwoman. It was claimed the wife and children were supportive, but the wife has since had a breakdown and they are divorced. The transwoman has sunk into deep depression.

The fact that they think they can speak for their wife and kids says it all for me.

By saying 'don't worry they are fine' it means its harder for them to challenge that and they are less likely to be asked.

Its an act of silencing. Its an exertion of power over the wife and kids who are voiceless.

The transwoman has sunk into deep depression

I do wonder if this is what happens when you no longer have friends and family to play along with you and you aren't interested in compelling and threatening the world to carry it on.

A " treatment" protocol that is 100 percent reliant on the willing and unwilling participation of the people around you can never work. Encouraging people to live inside their heads affirming that every shop keeper , every member of the public on thr Street is making a judgement somehow on your clothes or your purchases is not healthy at all. It's indulging a dangerous level.if Paranoia.

It solves nothing.

WTF is Pansexual.

Does it mean having sex with someone whom plays panpipe music while DTD or having sex with a small man who looks like a goat.

As there are only two sexes, the most anyone can be is Bi-Sexual or does Pan mean that you are also attracted to sheep, piano legs and fair isle jumpers?

It really is time to stop pandering (no pun intended) to all this sloppy shite.

Young people have been programmed that they must decide on a box that they fit into. These boxes get smaller and smaller, more and more rigid, and more and more regressive with it, the more one finds yet more gibberish terms to fit yet more gibberish ideas to fit yet more gibberish ideology.

It’s utter rubbish, on every level.

None of it is necessary.

I am a woman who wears x does x sleeps with x doesn’t sleep with x doesn’t like x loves x eats x ad infinitum. It’s called having a personality as pp has said on another thread. No further labels necessary.

Same for stupid terms such as ‘empath’ or ‘creative’ or whatnot. No. You’re just a person who feels empathy, you’re just a person who has a strong creative drive.

Stop it. Use the language we already have instead of making up stupid, dumbed down toddler-terms for everything.

@EndaDay

WTF is Pansexual.

Does it mean having sex with someone whom plays panpipe music while DTD or having sex with a small man who looks like a goat.

As there are only two sexes, the most anyone can be is Bi-Sexual or does Pan mean that you are also attracted to sheep, piano legs and fair isle jumpers?

It really is time to stop pandering (no pun intended) to all this sloppy shite.

It just means that you are happy to date anyone regardless of if they identify as male female trans or other. Why be so aggressive and rude?

How is it different to bi sexuality though ?

Trans people have a sex . One of 2.

The rest is just personality which is surely applicable to everyone ?

They won't be fine. If one of my parents, or my partner, wanted to change sex, I would be completely gutted and question everything I ever knew.

It's not an easy road to travel, for anyone involved.

@TheOriginalEmu EndaDay wasn't remotely rude or aggressive. Why are you tone-policing women?

@TheOriginalEmu

No, that is bi-sexual. Two Sexes. One has a cock and one doesn't.

Hope that helps you.

WTF is Pansexual?

@Lambkin689

Of course they're not fine. How could any woman be in this situation?

You do realise that insisting that NO ONE could be fine is just as ridiculous as insisting EVERYONE must fine with it? People are all individuals, some will be devastated and very much not fine and some will be totally fine and not phased and everyone else is somewhere in between. It’s not an either or situation. And some can learn to be fine, others can’t and those are ok too.

@Beowulfa

I have come to the conclusion that large numbers of people, probably the majority, would rather be in a mediocre or outright shit relationship than be single. I assume people think it's better to muddle along rather than face the perceived social stigma and the extra expense and logistics of living alone.

Totally agree with you and I'm currently in that majority. Nothing like the original post but I put up with a shite relationship due to DH mental health as we have young kids and I know I physically couldn't cope with them on my own even 50/50.

I'm making the most of it as it's not all bad but I figure if it's still like this in 10y then I'll get my ducks in row and go.

[quote PinaColada123456]**@TheOriginalEmu* EndaDay* wasn't remotely rude or aggressive. Why are you tone-policing women?[/quote]
Calling someone else’s sexuality ‘sloppy shite’ is in my opinion rude and agressive.

Its only possible to tell if children are really fine when they are no longer in that situation so imo, parents should wait until their children have left home before transitioning.

It just means that you are happy to date anyone regardless of if they identify as male female trans or other. Why be so aggressive and rude?

Then they are bisexual . Pan is totally redundant. If the bisexual person prefers people of both sexes with brown eyes, what would you call them? Why would one lot have a special eord?

@Whatwouldscullydo

How is it different to bi sexuality though ?

Trans people have a sex . One of 2.

The rest is just personality which is surely applicable to everyone ?

The very fine difference is that a bisexual person is attracted to both sexes and a pansexual person is attracted to specific traits. Plenty of bi people like certain things in men and others in women (eg, they might like blonde hair in men and black hair in women, or gentleness in men and assertiveness in women). Pansexual people just like the thing itself and their attraction isn't altered by which body it comes in.