thank you from a TW

[Atarax]

Firstly apologies for posting in a woman's forum. I am transgender (male who lives as female). I wanted to thank the people here who keep me grounded and secure in who I am (not a woman, just a man who is in the wrong body and is fortunate to live in a society that lets me present, act and be accepted as a woman).
Reading threads here on safe spaces gave me the courage to use a men's changing room for the first time since transitioning - I never used woman's ones just accessible/gender neutral rooms. Not surprisingly I did not get attacked, a few curious looks and I kept myself covered in a towel.

You all keep it real and that is so important for those non extreme trans people. Don't stop the dialogue (but do keep respectful). Thanks again, just wanted to post because many (most?) of us get it.

@lucythejuicy I also apologise for assuming you are a man as I took the quote to be your words too. If you want to go old school to bold text, you can just put a star before and after the words. The text formatting on the app is tricky sometimes.

@Datun and others I agree it's definitely an interesting discussion about where and when men should have these conversations but (ironically!) I don't want the thread to derail too far away from the original topic to discuss men after they have appeared to give us all their wisdom. Perhaps a separate thread? I'm sure there has been lots before. DH doesn't use social media much but as a SAHD he has posted on MN for parenting advice over the years (eg PFB has a temp but seems OK should I ring the GP, do bickiepegs and amber bracelets work etc) but he absolutely wouldn't come onto a FWR finger wagging at us to be respectful and giving us his manly opinion. He has read and listened to me and the DDs and understands the issues and does his bit to raise awareness in RL eg talking about potential men in tents to friends who have DDs in guides etc, he will challenge workmates who are polite to a woman's face and then talk about her tits and arse the minute she leaves the room. He will talk to DSs about misogyny in that fucking awful Drill music they listen to. Etc etc.

He wouldn't dream of coming on a thread in FWR with that speaking as a bloke bollocks, men who do that are part of the fucking problem. It's not that men aren't welcome on MN at all, it's that male entitlement leading to a total inability to read the room, which makes them unwelcome on threads like this. IMO anyway.

It's not that men aren't welcome on MN at all, it's that male entitlement leading to a total inability to read the room, which makes them unwelcome on threads like this. IMO anyway.

Yes, I completely agree. We have several male posters who are really valuable contributors. With often some interesting insight.

I'm talking more about the tedious drive-by scoldings.

We have several male posters who are really valuable contributors. With often some interesting insight.

We do. And they don't seem to need to announce that fact. Or to put the 'male perspective' for us to peruse. They just add their contribution as A N Other poster. Just as most of us don't feel the need to anounce we are women! I was quite taken aback when I realised one poster was male. Posting style was just "Another MNer" wthout all the drive-by scolder attributes.

"Tedious drive by scoldings" Love it, you basically summed up my whole long post much better with just four words!

I know there are some very good contributors to MN who are male (and it makes me smile sometimes when people don't realise and assume they are female, it's just the opposite to RL) and indeed DH has posted on health topics specific to our DC to give support and advice to others in the same boat (as we sought support and advice years ago when they were diagnosed) So it's not that I want to ban men from MN totally apart from anyone who says speaking as a man/bloke here/hello ladies who should get an automatic deletion and ban ----

@SamphiretheStickerist

We have several male posters who are really valuable contributors. With often some interesting insight.

We do. And they don't seem to need to announce that fact. Or to put the 'male perspective' for us to peruse. They just add their contribution as A N Other poster. Just as most of us don't feel the need to anounce we are women! I was quite taken aback when I realised one poster was male. Posting style was just "Another MNer" wthout all the drive-by scolder attributes.

You see isn't it refreshing that we default to MNers being female, not male - it's the exact opposite of real life and why I value MN so much as a female dominated space and I want to keep it that way!

Anyway and on that note, I am off to write to my local council about their bulky waste collection service who advise that rubbish "must be able to be lifted by two men".

It is So very, very few places that ever happens.

Two men indeed!

Anyway and on that note, I am off to write to my local council about their bulky waste collection service who advise that rubbish "must be able to be lifted by two men".

Men are good for heavy lifting.

Anyway and on that note, I am off to write to my local council about their bulky waste collection service who advise that rubbish "must be able to be lifted by two men".

This isn't sexism. The HSE recommend different maximum weights which men and women can safely lift. If you want them to take your bulky waste away, it's better (for you) that they use the safe weight for men to lift rather than women.

The legal manual handling guidelines suggest that the maximum safe lifting weight for a woman is 16kg, and the maximum safe lifting weight for men is 25kg.

cpdonline.co.uk/knowledge-base/health-and-safety/manual-handling-weight-limits/

I hadn't thought of it in those terms.

But is is sexism, it presumes that they will have bin men, able to lift the weight of bulky waste containers. Why not a more median weight as their mooted maximum, so one man, 1 woman can lift it; I wouldn't anticipate them expecting 2 women, god forbid!

@SamphiretheStickerist

I hadn't thought of it in those terms.

But is is sexism, it presumes that they will have bin men, able to lift the weight of bulky waste containers. Why not a more median weight as their mooted maximum, so one man, 1 woman can lift it; I wouldn't anticipate them expecting 2 women, god forbid!

I assume that they have a maximum weight limit of about 50kg. If a woman is part of the collection team, I would expect them to provide her with some lifting equipment so that she can safely lift that weight.

@Atarax

Firstly apologies for posting in a woman's forum. I am transgender (male who lives as female). I wanted to thank the people here who keep me grounded and secure in who I am (not a woman, just a man who is in the wrong body and is fortunate to live in a society that lets me present, act and be accepted as a woman). Reading threads here on safe spaces gave me the courage to use a men's changing room for the first time since transitioning - I never used woman's ones just accessible/gender neutral rooms. Not surprisingly I did not get attacked, a few curious looks and I kept myself covered in a towel.

You all keep it real and that is so important for those non extreme trans people. Don't stop the dialogue (but do keep respectful). Thanks again, just wanted to post because many (most?) of us get it.

that's bait

The legal manual handling guidelines suggest that the maximum safe lifting weight for a woman is 16kg, and the maximum safe lifting weight for men is 25kg.

OMG no wonder I can't lift the bloody dog into the car! Mind you, I am especially strong for a lady.

that's bait

What do you mean Catherinajtv? I don't understand.

Eeek I didn't mean to derail further with the waste collection thing! I don't want to give any more specific wording/exact details as it could be a bit outing to my area etc but it's definitely an issue to be raised.

As you were

PS I think the "it's bait" comment means that it's literally"bait" eg trolling for attention. Or as I would say, total bollocks

CatherinaJTV doesn't believe OP is a transwoman? I thought you were an enthusiastic supporter of self ID, Catherina?

You could be right DomesticatedZombie it's hard to read anything else into that comment I must say. Dont you think trans people exist Catherina? Your comment does sound a bit bigoted and mean spirited towards transwomen. Don't you think transwomen are who they say they are? 🧐