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And just like that - females squeamish at male public masturbation

191 replies

MuchasSmoochas · 11/12/2021 15:30

Has anyone watched the new Sex and the City show yet? I got really annoyed and switched off. Carrie is on a podcast, lots of chat about cis het. Whatevs.

But what really made me furious was when the male podcast guest said he couldn’t think of anywhere where he hadn’t masturbated in public. And Carrie said she hadn’t and they laughed at her like she was such a prude. I suppose it was trying to show how behind the times she is. I suppose she didn’t want to “kink shame” .

When did it become ok for men to masturbate in public?

Yes I know it’s a shit show BTW.

OP posts:
Justsotirednow · 11/12/2021 23:18

Oooh, I now do remember one of the episodes I saw.

Wasn’t there an episode where one them pointed oit that there is now celebrating single people or something like that?
And spending a lot of time and monet for other people’s weddings/babies.

I hope I remember right.
That was very, very good thing to point out.
These things really aren’t talked about, even today.
Marriages and babies are put so high on the pedastal.
It’s really is unfair.

Floisme · 11/12/2021 23:30

You're not selling the reboot to me (not a surprise - they rarely work in my opinion) but, when I think of the original show, my big memories are of Miranda's mother dying, Samantha's cancer and Charlotte's infertility. For a shallow show, it packed a pretty big emotional punch I think. Great clothes too.

CoolShoeshine · 11/12/2021 23:44

@CheeseMmmm. It’s not that deep. Or that wasn’t how I perceived it.
Carrie used to be an edgy “bright young thing” columnist, writing about love/sex lives of singleton New Yorkers. The character has aged/mellowed and the original show contained some themes seen as dated by today’ standards.
Carrie has moved to a podcast. She was uncomfortable with the masterbation “banter” with her younger co-hosts. It was the show acknowledging that times and attitudes had changed but and the character hadn’t quite kept up with it. Carrie’s discomfort at their jokes (and presumably the viewers’ agreement with her) proves that the programme makers weren’t normalising public wanking.

334bu · 12/12/2021 00:28

.* It was the show acknowledging that times and attitudes had changed but and the character hadn’t quite kept up with it. Carrie’s discomfort at their jokes (and presumably the viewers’ agreement with her) proves that the programme makers weren’t normalising public wanking.*

Sorry bit confused here. If show is acknowledging that the character is not keeping up with current attitudes, how is that not " normalising public wanking" ?

TurquoiseBaubles · 12/12/2021 00:36

I remember watching it when I was young and thinking it was all edgy and interesting and empowering.

I went back and watched a couple of shows recently and cringed at the attitudes to others - their attitudes to the young, old, poor, unsuccessful, uneducated etc etc. They lived in a bubble and despised everyone outside it.

I only managed half an episode of the new series

DoucheCanoe · 12/12/2021 00:58

"It was the show acknowledging that times and attitudes had changed but and the character hadn’t quite kept up with it. Carrie’s discomfort at their jokes (and presumably the viewers’ agreement with her) proves that the programme makers weren’t normalising public wanking."

Acknowledging that attitudes and times have changed towards men wanking in public places? What hadn't the character or the viewer kept up with? Confused

By that logic the middle aged population are out of touch with something that is seen as normal by the younger generation. It shouldn't be "normal" by any ones standards!

DoucheCanoe · 12/12/2021 00:59

Sorry, that was in response to @CoolShoeshine.

Helen8220 · 12/12/2021 01:19

@DoucheCanoe @334bu
I think the pp was explaining that the others on the podcast were clearly joking when they suggested that one of them masturbates on the subway. The point was that Carrie was uncomfortable even joking about it, and therefore didn’t fit in with the general tone of the podcast. Anyway, I felt like we were being invited to empathise with her as much as to laugh at her.

MargaritaPie · 12/12/2021 01:28

"When did it become ok for men to masturbate in public?"

It's not, and men who get caught doing this in public rightly get into a whole load of trouble which includes placed on the sex offender registry.

Can't comment on sex on the city, I don't watch it.

CheeseMmmm · 12/12/2021 02:07

@MargaritaPie

"When did it become ok for men to masturbate in public?"

It's not, and men who get caught doing this in public rightly get into a whole load of trouble which includes placed on the sex offender registry.

Can't comment on sex on the city, I don't watch it.

Which country are you thinking of?

Definitely not this one.

CherryBlossomAutumn · 12/12/2021 02:35

I found it quite boring so haven’t watched any of the films or this one. But surely they checked about masturbating in public with a safeguarding person? As this is quite red alert behaviour, it’s often the precursor to sexual assault. That’s why it’s taken more seriously in criminal law now.

CoolShoeshine · 12/12/2021 08:00

@Helen8220 I think the pp was explaining that the others on the podcast were clearly joking when they suggested that one of them masturbates on the subway. The —point was that Carrie was uncomfortable even joking about it, and therefore didn’t fit in with the general tone of the podcast. Anyway, I felt like we were being invited to empathise with her as much as to laugh at her.

This says it exactly how I meant to. The show is giving a nod to the fact that times have changed, ie Carrie no longer writes a newspaper column but is part of a podcast. She’s not a comedian like her co-hosts and is nowhere near as comfortable talking openly about sexual themes as she is about writing about them.

Maybe you could also interpret the show to be alluding to the fact that times and attitudes have changed making the original show dated, but that modern ‘woke’ culture isn’t necessarily perfect too?

Helen8220 · 12/12/2021 11:23

@CoolShoeshine
Exactly, that was my take on it.

I wasn’t keen to watch it, having hated the first film (avoided the second) but my partner wanted to and I was sufficiently curious to stay in the room. I think it’s a bit clunky and silly, but interesting enough that I’ll probably keep watching. I actually found the way they dealt with the ‘woke’ stuff more nuanced than I expected - particularly in Miranda’s interactions with her lecturer, I think they put both sides (although in a slightly awkward, ‘educational’ tone).

GoodieMoomin · 12/12/2021 14:28

I don't watch SATC but this boundary pushing is insidious in its frequency.

There was a bbc drama in 2019 with the young woman from Three Girls and an older woman from Corrie. The Corrie actor played a uni prof and in ep 1 she masturbated in the campus toilets.

Another show I started recently on Netflix, i think originally channel4, Pixels. The young female protagonist told her male friends she was logging off so she could go and masturbate in the office toilets. The whole idea that this is something women commonly do and is no big deal is just Hmm

WalkOnGildedSplinters · 12/12/2021 14:50

So sick of the small little messages appearing in everyday media to belittle anyone who isn't a self declared "ally" or "woke" enough to just go along without thought of what it means for society.

I agree with this. I see it in a different but similar way when strangling/rough sex is mentioned - the person who thinks wtf is told they’re old-fashioned.

Floisme · 12/12/2021 16:16

I still haven't watched it but, if the storyline is going to be about the discomfiture of a woman who used to be a sex columnist in this new world, then I think that could be perfectly valid.

And given that we always viewed the old show through Carrie's eyes, I'd be surprised if she was suddenly turned into a figure of fun, especially if she's still a producer.

I repeat, I haven't watched the new show yet but I'd give that story time to pan out before passing judgment.

Floisme · 12/12/2021 16:25

I've just checked and Sarah Jessica Parker, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis are all listed as executive producers. How likely is it that all 3 would agree to their characters being turned into objects of ridicule?
Anything's possible I guess but I'm reserving judgement for now.

TheCountessofFitzdotterel · 12/12/2021 17:34

‘ How likely is it that all 3 would agree to their characters being turned into objects of ridicule? ’

Very likely indeed if that’s the price they have to pay for being allowed to do this at all, I would think.
Reserving judgement is sensible though. People should do that more often! Smile

Floisme · 12/12/2021 18:11

Very likely indeed if that’s the price they have to pay for being allowed to do this at all,
I guess it depends how how desperate they were to do it. I doubt any of them were on their uppers, Cynthia Nixon was carving out a new career for herself and I'd have thought the drubbing the films received would have made them wary.

I don't want to overstate the case for SATC - it was never literary drama and never tried to be but, at its peak, I think there was a lot more to it than sex and shoes. But I'd never have predicted that from the first few episodes I saw - I think it took a couple of series before it hit its stride.

CruellaDeVilla · 12/12/2021 18:19

@334bu

The normalisation of what is really deviant t behaviour is very worrying. It is the same attitude that has people saying of the women complaining about the flasher in the Wi Spa in Los Angeles, that they shouldn't have been looking at his penis anyway.
I agree

It’s 100% not ok to masturbate in public, wtf indeed? Fuck normalising that frankly.

CruellaDeVilla · 12/12/2021 18:23

Oh, also, teenagers have sex with regular partners = ok
teenagers making loads of noise about it so their parents hear + teenagers leaving used condoms on the bedroom floor = Not Ok

Adults smoking weed, yeah it happens
Adults smoking weed in a lift, WTF?

Franca123 · 12/12/2021 18:28

I agree @CruellaDeVilla. That sex scene was ridiculous. And smoking weed at a funeral. Then Miranda speaking amicably with the non binary person who gave it to her son..... erm.....OK. The whole show was telling middle age women to lower all of their boundaries.

Franca123 · 12/12/2021 18:29

No issue with weed personally and I've smoked a tonne of it but if I caught my child smoking it at a funeral of my friend I'd hit the roof.

CruellaDeVilla · 12/12/2021 18:31

@Franca123

I agree *@CruellaDeVilla*. That sex scene was ridiculous. And smoking weed at a funeral. Then Miranda speaking amicably with the non binary person who gave it to her son..... erm.....OK. The whole show was telling middle age women to lower all of their boundaries.
Yep. Dangerous stuff. I hope they get angry in a minute but suspect they won’t
EvilRingahBitch · 12/12/2021 18:37

If you look through the episode list on Wikipedia it's very noticeable that the first series is mostly written by men (8 by men, 3 by women, 1 by a mix) and each series increases the female:male ratio, so by the end it's a female dominated writing team. Storylines like Samantha's cancer, Miranda's mother-in-law, Carrie's terrible treatment by Mikhail Barishnikov and Charlotte's infertility are very female-driven storylines which you could never have got to in the first two series.