A trans-Identified BDSM fan/gun nut is now a senior leader at Girlguiding

[Scraggythang]

Via Glinner’s sub stack. Sorry if this has already been posted!

grahamlinehan.substack.com/p/wtf-are-girlguiding-thinking

@OldCrone

I think there are people who fantasise about all kinds of things. It doesn't mean they want them to happen in real life.

I do wonder what proportion of women actually fantasise about being sexually assaulted. Do you have a link to a published paper about that?

Yes I just posted one. It's summarised with the data table here: www.businessinsider.com/what-women-fantasize-about-2014-11?r=US&IR=T

It's hardly exhibitionism, she's wearing a slightly kinky dress, you'd see people in more fetishistic outfits than that walking through Camden Market.

Unlike this person'sTwitter timeline , the people in Camden Market don't have big signs round their necks saying that they are Girl Guide leaders .

Should we ban goths and punks from working with kids? They often walk around the streets wearing fetish inspired clothing. Who else should got caught up in this puritanical moral crusade? Is it twin set and pearls all round now and anything else is a safeguarding risk?

*Yes I just posted one. It's summarised with the data table here: *www.businessinsider.com/what-women-fantasize-about-2014-11?r=US&IR=T

Still got nothing to do with a person with responsibility for minor girls choosing to post photos of themself with guns and wearing a dominatrix outfit.all over a public social media platform.

It's hardly exhibitionism, she's wearing a slightly kinky dress, you'd see people in more fetishistic outfits than that walking through Camden Market.

A 'slightly kinky' dress with an inviting phrase such about being the mistress. And a whip I think too.

A provocative pose exposing cleavage asking people if they want to see more of their breasts.

A half naked shoulder picture of them in the bathtub placed as a profile shot over a line up of small girls in party dresses.

And that was all I got to before the account was protected.

This is someone who is supposed to lead the way in teaching girls that porn and sexual objectification can be harmful and how to cope with it. How do they do that when their twitter is all about them being objectified and lowered sexual boundaries.

And yes, exhibitionism is part of it because they are putting it on social media for all to see.

Should we ban goths and punks from working with kids? They often walk around the streets wearing fetish inspired clothing. Who else should got caught up in this puritanical moral crusade
Are they offering to display their tits on a public forum,?

Should we ban goths and punks from working with kids? They often walk around the streets wearing fetish inspired clothing. Who else should got caught up in this puritanical moral crusade? Is it twin set and pearls all round now and anything else is a safeguarding risk?

Are we back to 'you are all prudes' again?

Oh.... it is a puritanical moral crusade now?

Gosh MN I certainly wasn't referring to anyone particular. Just musing. And I think the poster who complained had previously said they had no idea what Queer Theory was. All wide eyed like. So I certainly couldn't have meant them.

So I can't imagine why I got deleted?

“Twin set and pearls”? How predictable.

@barleybadminton

Should we ban goths and punks from working with kids? They often walk around the streets wearing fetish inspired clothing. Who else should got caught up in this puritanical moral crusade? Is it twin set and pearls all round now and anything else is a safeguarding risk?

You have no grip on reality.

You've also, obviously, never worked in a post with safeguarding responsibilities or even basic safeguarding training, or in a responsible post with children.

You cannot wave your sex life and your gun fantasies all over the internet and still stay employed in a position of trust. You can't. No is a word that some people are just going to have to learn to deal with. Some things are not appropriate, and you cannot have your cake and eat it too. Working with children requires understanding boundaries, appropriacy and a whole lot of other things that are apparently whizzing over your head.

It's all "twin set and pearls" now is it?
Such patronising misogynistic speak. And when talking about eroding child safeguarding.

You cannot wave your sex life and your gun fantasies all over the internet and still stay employed in a position of trust. You can't.

Well you can, she did, as did the female teacher outed by the Daily Mail for being a Dominatrix. Most reasonable people understand that an adults consensual sex life with other adults does not make them a safeguarding risk, most people have sex after all, and people enjoy all kinds of different things. You can certainly make the point that some people are a bit naive about social media, and this is something that can be easily dealt with with a quiet word or comprehensive social media policies which staff are made aware of and trained in - it certainly should not be a career ending or even sackable offence to wear a leather dress and make a jokey post about being a Mistress on twitter.

- it certainly should not be a career ending or even sackable offence to wear a leather dress and make a jokey post about being a Mistress on twitter.

How about posting photos of yourself brandishing a gun, offering to show your tits as well as posing with your whip in fetish gear?

@barleybadminton

You cannot wave your sex life and your gun fantasies all over the internet and still stay employed in a position of trust. You can't.

Well you can, she did, as did the female teacher outed by the Daily Mail for being a Dominatrix. Most reasonable people understand that an adults consensual sex life with other adults does not make them a safeguarding risk, most people have sex after all, and people enjoy all kinds of different things. You can certainly make the point that some people are a bit naive about social media, and this is something that can be easily dealt with with a quiet word or comprehensive social media policies which staff are made aware of and trained in - it certainly should not be a career ending or even sackable offence to wear a leather dress and make a jokey post about being a Mistress on twitter.

Utter bollocks.

That behaviour should and will get you fired. Policies and standards aren't just written for fun, they have a purpose and a meaning, there are codes of conduct, there are responsibilities. If you breach them there are serious consequences, because your lack of judgement, boundaries, your ability to understand safeguarding is a very serious issue that should mean serious actions by supervisors. Safeguarding isn't just a nice word.

This is why GG are being regarded as having so utterly failed in their duties. Absolutely appallingly failed. Have you any idea what a serious case review would look like?

Adults cannot do whatever they feel like without consequences. If you want to be a free spirit who waves their exciting sex life in people's faces then you are choosing not to work in a position of trust, responsibility, or to be regarded as someone appropriate for many positions. In particular, you have chosen not to work with children. We don't know all the details of that teacher, but she will not have been patted on the head and given new fluffy handcuffs. She will have held on to her job by the skin of her teeth, there will have been major supervision involved and she's lucky to have managed it.

Also need to bear in mind here, not one single piece of evidence of really awful boundaries, self awareness, sense of responsibility, having been able to understand, retain and follow safeguarding and of following known policies: but two . Totally different ones. This is not a person with sound judgement, the evidence is right there. Suitability is very, very questionable.

So just more minimising, more disparaging people expressing legitimate concerns as ‘being on a puritanical moral crusade’ wearing ‘twin sets and pearls’.

And no answering the fundamental questions raised.

No doubt we shall circle back to yet another ‘not like the cool kids’ disparagement. And we shall simply continue to point out the lack of knowledge about safeguarding and what is and isn’t appropriate for kids.

And good that Billie Eilish has raised the issue of how kink and porn harms kids. Maybe it will start to sink in that the normalisation of publishing your adult sex life on social media is, in fact, harmful to kids.

Especially when trying to make girls aware of consent and that much of what they see on social media is not what they should be expecting to perform as a teenager and that having sexual boundaries is ok.

Yes, some of the points Billie is making is very relevant.

@barleybadminton

Should we ban goths and punks from working with kids? They often walk around the streets wearing fetish inspired clothing. Who else should got caught up in this puritanical moral crusade? Is it twin set and pearls all round now and anything else is a safeguarding risk?

What are you on about?

You do know that anyone reading your continued 'whataboutery' can see what you have typed between the posts around it? And the main thing that leaps out is a strange determination to downplay safeguarding issues, the safety of kids, young women.

Why is that?

Why are you now asking 'what about' fashion, street wear and crying 'puritans!!!' ?

Nobody reading you is going to do anything but laugh... and then wonder why you are trying so hard? You've done a pretty good job of pointing out just how odd this particular male bodies person's actions have been

it certainly should not be a career ending or even sackable offence to wear a leather dress and make a jokey post about being a Mistress on twitter.

And yet, as it is an indication of a habit, yes, I do believe that if a person is in a role requiring that degree of safeguarding, it should be the end of that person’s career as someone who has that relationship with children.

The lack of awareness of the posts combined with posts of small girls. The very fact those children were posted onto that site without their faces blurred when others are perusing sexualised content.

The gun handling.

The sexual nature of the posts. The exhibitionist nature of the posts.

That were available to the public to see.

The reference to tea bagging in their user name.

But….. we are just pearl clutching prudes for pointing it out.

Most reasonable people understand that an adults consensual sex life with other adults does not make them a safeguarding risk, most people have sex after all, and people enjoy all kinds of different things.

Hey barleybadminton remember that young man who liked to dress in rubber and wank in the toilets of the children's charity he worked at? How unproblematic was that for you? He did get fired, bet you think that a quiet word would have been enough...

Celebrating kinks around children should get one fired, and it has nothing to do with pearl clutching - it just means that some of us appreciate that adult sex practices do not concern children, and that we don't need more eroding of boundaries in the name of kink celebration.

Also, what utter rubbish to conflate fantasy and reality - so what if some people have fantasies of domination, that GG leader cares enough to post a picture. This is not a fantasy, this is the exhibitionism of a tacky and deluded individual who is protected by idiots that should actually be protecting girls.

Are you quite young, barleybadminton? Do you think you are the first to come up with all the fantasy crap? Because when I was young, most women were supposed to have rape fantasies - it was much more about asshole men fantasising that fact. So maybe you're not that young after all

Frotteurism. A minor incident from a lifetime of bullshit rape culture (cw):

As a 10 year old girl, on the tube in London, a man masturbated against me. He left semen all over my skirt. I had no idea at the time what had happened, only that I was very distressed, upset and felt ashamed.

Dirty old men do this type of thing and don't care about the girl, in fact they take pleasure in her suffering. A child has not even the slightest understanding of the dynamics at play.

As a 10 year old, one has no understanding of not only what drives sex but particularly abusive, non-consensual sex. It would be like trying to write an exam paper on a subject I'd never studied, in Arabic, blindfolded. It has taken a lifetime to unravel layers of shame, confusion, obfuscation and 'kink positive' narratives to realise exactly what happened to me that day.

Unfortunately I now have a far greater understand of exactly what is happening, that the man who did that knew exactly what he was doing. He was a predator, he did it on purpose, he sought it out, knowing that I had not consented, in fact because I had not consented and was not able to consent.

I see it now very clearly.

Predators are ubiquitous. They are common. They are persistent. It's banal, and something that women sadly learn to deal with. By the time women get to middle-age, we've had a fucking lifetime of being used like this: a girlhood beset by the predatory bullshit, that goes hand in hand with being abused for being frigid/prudish/slutty, then an adulthood putting up with more of the same along with the continual background hum of socialisation that continues to tell us we're wrong for speaking out about it, wrong for being angry, wrong for saying no.

We should shut up and let the men do what they need to do to get off. We should be kind about the failure of judgement, the several failures of judgement, the silly jokes, the cheeky jokes, the saucy outfit, the inappropriate comment, the comedy sex prop, the careless photos, the nicknames, the forgetfulness, the accidental slippage, the I-can't-help-myself, the he-didn't-realise, the all-good-fun the let's-not-spoil-it the hush, hush, hush. Don’t be a prude, don’t be a pearl clutcher, don’t moralise, don’t speak up.

Mocking women for talking about our history, for speaking our truth, for protecting our children?

I see you.

No, thank you.

We should shut up and let the men do what they need to do to get off. We should be kind about the failure of judgement, the several failures of judgement, the silly jokes, the cheeky jokes, the saucy outfit, the inappropriate comment, the comedy sex prop, the careless photos, the nicknames, the forgetfulness, the accidental slippage, the I-can't-help-myself, the he-didn't-realise, the all-good-fun the let's-not-spoil-it the hush, hush, hush. Don’t be a prude, don’t be a pearl clutcher, don’t moralise, don’t speak up.

Mocking women for talking about our history, for speaking our truth, for protecting our children?

I see you.

No, thank you.

Once you see it, you cannot unsee it.

Thank you Arabella.

Great post ArabellaScott we’ve all had a lifetime of being subject to males* involving us in their fetishes and fantasies without our consent and it’s grim. We know what’s it like, is it any wonder we want to protect children from that and worse as much as we can.

*(obligatory NAMALT disclaimer)

@ArabellaScott I’ve been that girl on the train. I’ve been non-consensually groped on more than one occasion. Judging by stories from other women, it’s pretty common. Men having fetishes and them non consensually inflicting them on others is common! I agree with you @barleybadminton

It’s exactly why we have our guards up.

Arabella
I’m so sorry that happened to 10 year old you.
What a powerful post, thank you for your voice.