Pronouns

[VelvetChairGirl]

Am I the only one who instantly judges those who state their pronouns as a massive narcissist?

especially if those pronouns are things you would never use when talking to someone, like they/them, who the hell refers to the person they are talking to as they/them, that doesn't work in English you cant use third person pronouns in the first person thats not how the language works.

Its trying to make you second guess everything and tread on eggshells, like a control thing to me, the idea alone that you are going to memorize everyone's individual pronouns for use whenever you see them individually is narcissistic, like you haven't got tonnes of other people you talk to.

My small organization has recently invited us to add them out of kindness and inclusivity. We are have been encouraged while at the same time told to not to feel pressure. Most of senior managers have added them.
I think it starts to look like as action not to add them. In this climate, it adding them could be, effectively, identifying yourself in this culture as transphobic. The complexity of the cultural and political implications of this is hard to put instead of the pronouns. None of this belongs at work, it's too loaded surely? But I don't see an alternative to adding them because I don't want to be seen as I will be seen. And I'm not senior enough for this to not matter.

I don't use them despite them being on the official signature and 99pc of staff seeming to use them . I always notice (the few) others who don't and respect them hugely as a consequence. In fact I never use to use the corporate signature but have started to so I can delete the pronoun line. It seems the easiest way to quietly show resistance. And as you have to delete them, it's also purposeful.

As for the ones that then add a rainbow flag plus 'ally', I don't even bother replying to their emails!

What I don't like is the in or out, black and white thinking. People start identifying themselves as allies so the inference is that those who do not do so are somehow 'unsafe'.

I will support any trans or non binary people in any way I can with kindness and understanding however it doesn't mean I have to think in a particular way or describe myself in a particular way. I won't use pronouns or describe myself as an ally but I resent the implication that I'm not a good or kind or understanding person by not joining in with this prescribed 'right think'.

I recently received communication from someone in the NHS, an email followed by the same information in letter (snail mail) format.

Email had pronouns, letter didn't.

Yes, I think they are fucking idiots.