I don't want to add my pronouns at the end of an email, but I can't explain why...

[MrsPsmalls]

Just that really. NHS and we've been encouraged by people who have had 'training' to add our pronouns. I'm a woman and mine are she her. I could do this but I don't want to. I said as much to the inclusivity person. She actually works for me and inclusivity is an add on to her regular job. She said I should as it makes it easier for trans people who want to add theirs. Should I just do it? Obvs she can't make me as I am her manager, but I have created unpleasantness. I don't care how I'm referred to and have never been wrongly pronouned!

This is not about people with unisex names or people with sexed names that are uncommon in the dominant culture. People with such names have always existed and any confusion is readily sorted out where it becomes relevant.

Agree. It’s also not about trans men or women whose gender identity is obvious.

I think the idea is to support non binary and gender fluid people, but the effect is to enforce gender on everyone else.

Unfortunately It’s also already clear that the concept of pronouns has been used by some gender conforming people (present as male, male name) as a way to punish women who slip up (see example used in Maya’s case), and there are the examples this week where the game was removed from Oxfam and ‘Girls night in’ was renamed because the focus was on women and not ‘all genders’. It’s fertile ground for misogynists.

It’s also not about trans men or women whose gender identity is obvious

Oh yes, I agree with that too. Except that I would say that goes back to the original (as I understand it) use of the term gender identity as a way for transgender people to help others understand their identification with the opposite sex, which I thought was quite useful. They felt like they were or should have been the opposite sex, not that there is an ineffable sense of being a sex which they feel and which has nothing to do with reproductive class.

Hi OP, just wondering all these months later, how did you get on standing firm but not giving your reasons? Our Trust has signed up to a new call me initiative and on the staff intranet page about it someone has suggested we all start adding pronouns to emails. The Trust comms lead has said...this is coming next.

Had this too. Awkwardly, the young she/her on this reading group was advocating for Caroline Criado Perez’s Invisible Women and wokeness in the same sentence. I was so sad. I could not openly express my views as there was some one from work that was making agreeing noises and I’m on probation. I felt the true weight of peer pressure and compliance to the diktat. Very worried they are going to take my poker face expression and not nodding head as proof of my crimes against wokeism!

my colleague said she’ll add her pronouns straight away. Is there Anything I can add like EDI supportive or aware or something that will encompass all PoCs so I’vent to commit to one.

I got asked if I wanted to add my pronouns to my email signature by the head of my department. Some of my colleagues have opted to do so.

I said “No thanks.”

End of conversation and it hasn’t come up again. We also just did our D&I training and I was very pleasantly that a lot of the emphasis was on disability.

I’d welcome a request like that ‘why?’ Would be my reply. ‘To show your support for LGBetc people’… they’d say…

can you imagine the fun you could have with a comment like that?😈

I'd just say "no because I have a woman's name. I've never been misgendered l, so I don't see what benefit it would bring."

This is a good answer

There was a really good article recently (I think) in the New York Times - can anyone link it, please?

Subordinate: Hey Mrs P, can you please add your pronouns?
MrsPsmalls: No. That's a complete sentence. Next question?

embarrassing it was some time ago but that essay quote from Vaclav Havel blew my mind. Thank you

Now I like a good Havel memory as much as the next woman but requoting it would make my search easier…..[please]

For this thread, it's

www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4380135-I-dont-want-to-add-my-pronouns-at-the-end-of-an-email-but-I-cant-explain-why?page=1&reply=111794485

The general Havel, Solzhenitsyn plus a dose of Lifton is here:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/4382551-Live-not-by-lies-Solzhenitsyn-no-tambourines-involved?