Mridul Wadhwa

[PostingForTheFirstTime]

thecritic.co.uk/unclean/

"Feminist women were, therefore, keen to hear what would be said at this latest talk before women’s sector professionals working with victims and survivors of sexual and domestic abuse.

I hadn’t expected the content to be so blatantly aggressive towards the decades of work of feminist women in the field of male violence against women. After a wandering preamble about intersectionality, Wadhwa announced that Rape Crisis history was unclean."

@toomanytrees

If any other person in any organisation, had deliberately used deception to get a job, then boasted about it several times publicly, they would be instantly dismissed and marched off the premises.

He supposedly used deception only once: at the Forth Valley Rape Crisis Centre. The Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre knew exactly who they were getting. The responsibility lies with the members of the boards of directors who hired him. The reality is that two groups of women (the boards) at two different organizations hired him. The current ERCC board seems unwilling or unable to deal with it. The real question is why. This issue is much bigger than MW.

Yes. And it's disappointing to see a friend of the FM apparently receiving preferential treatment. It smacks of... well. I think we all know.

MW reminds me of Trump. Entitled male, getting away with disgusting behaviour. The issue with both are the systems and the supporters that give these males such power.

The cleanse comment is beyond insensitive. Women frequently report feeling unclean long after their rape. We already live in a society where there is seemingly more shame in being raped than in being a rapist. TRAs like MW seem to want to make raped women feel further shame for needing to have single sex spaces. Rather than focusing their efforts on stopping their fellow males raping so that one day single sex spaces won't be so necessary. It is sick.

@CharlieParley

This is also someone who grew up with enormous privilege - not merely male, but from a wealthy family. In that first acceptance speech for the LGBT Award in 2015, MW speaks of the family diamonds (jokingly, but the joke isn't about the family diamonds). Attended private school in India, then university there, then came to the UK to study (that's serious money to pay for fees for may years), then worked here for a while, returned to India, transitioned privately (again, serious money needed), talks about parents pressuring local magistrates to get a female passport etc.

MW likes to talk about being a migrant BAME woman, which gives the impression of someone living in poverty all their lives. Nothing could be further from the truth.

he's an oppression tourist?

nice

He supposedly used deception only once: at the Forth Valley Rape Crisis Centre. The Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre knew exactly who they were getting.

MW accepted a national Scottish award and gave a speech about being trans in 2015, two years before being hired at Forth Valley.

Rape Crisis Scotland first employed MW in 2012 and they knew who they were employing from day 1.

We really need to get away from this claim that MW duped anyone at Rape Crisis. It didn't happen.

If anyone was ever duped (and I've explained elsewhere why that is unlikely) it was Shakti Women's Aid in 2005. But as MW's sex was much more obvious then and the job had nothing to do with survivors, it's as I said unlikely.

MW however loves that so many women believe that MW passes so well that deception of this kind would have been possible. Does the concept of "narcissistic supply" apply to this situation?

Honestly, Mridul being trans is almost beginning to seem irrelevant.

Anyone displaying such a complete lack of empathy for rape victims is obviously unsuitable for a position heading up a rape charity. That's what the trustees should be focussing on.

@HPFA

Honestly, Mridul being trans is almost beginning to seem irrelevant.

Anyone displaying such a complete lack of empathy for rape victims is obviously unsuitable for a position heading up a rape charity. That's what the trustees should be focussing on.

I completely agree.

@HPFA

Honestly, Mridul being trans is almost beginning to seem irrelevant.

Anyone displaying such a complete lack of empathy for rape victims is obviously unsuitable for a position heading up a rape charity. That's what the trustees should be focussing on.

I agree. But he seems to be untouchable. (A pun in there somewhere, but it's all so unfunny).

I had wondered about that too.

@CharlieParley

He supposedly used deception only once: at the Forth Valley Rape Crisis Centre. The Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre knew exactly who they were getting.

MW accepted a national Scottish award and gave a speech about being trans in 2015, two years before being hired at Forth Valley.

Rape Crisis Scotland first employed MW in 2012 and they knew who they were employing from day 1.

We really need to get away from this claim that MW duped anyone at Rape Crisis. It didn't happen.

If anyone was ever duped (and I've explained elsewhere why that is unlikely) it was Shakti Women's Aid in 2005. But as MW's sex was much more obvious then and the job had nothing to do with survivors, it's as I said unlikely.

MW however loves that so many women believe that MW passes so well that deception of this kind would have been possible. Does the concept of "narcissistic supply" apply to this situation?

So being thought of deceitful, but 'passing' means more than being thought of as dishonest?

Is this one of those situations that it's very difficult to back out of?

To make such a controversial appointment and then say "oh, they need firing" is a tough position to find themselves in.

They will probably support MW through hell and high water now.

So being thought of deceitful, but 'passing' means more than being thought of as dishonest?

For that guy definitely, did anyone read the account of the person who was at a party he was a guest at? Everyone was having a good time, accepted him as a transwoman, no one gave a shit as not transphobes, but then suddenly the host asked (at his request) who thinks M is a woman? Very uncomfortable silence followed. He is obsessed with himself fooling people.

I can't remember which interview it was I heard MW talking about coming from India so I can't link to it but the words MW used were something like "the abuse happened" obviously trying to make out it had happened to MW. Knowing how carefully MW chooses MW's words, call me cycnical but I'm choosing to think the worst.

Does the concept of "narcissistic supply" apply to this situation?

Fuck, aye. I've said it before, I think MW is narcissistically abusing on a grand scale. I'll bet my bottom dollar many people who may be in a position to do something about MW's position are choosing to keep MW on side because going against MW would be too potentially damaging to them in some way.

MW doesn't lack empathy for rape victims, MW's not insensitive to rape victims, MW IMO enjoys our situation/distress/every other thing that comes with being raped - why else would MW be behaving this way? MW's not being thoughtless by using words like 'cleanse' - as I've said already MW chooses MW's words very carefully.

Honestly, Mridul being trans is almost beginning to seem irrelevant.

I agree, it's just something MW can use to get MW's own way and play the victim when it suits MW.

@Anotheruser02

So being thought of deceitful, but 'passing' means more than being thought of as dishonest?

For that guy definitely, did anyone read the account of the person who was at a party he was a guest at? Everyone was having a good time, accepted him as a transwoman, no one gave a shit as not transphobes, but then suddenly the host asked (at his request) who thinks M is a woman? Very uncomfortable silence followed. He is obsessed with himself fooling people.

Ugh yes, I remember that. Being told he looked like a woman was paramount, even to the discomfort of everyone in the room.

Yes, the author was very angry that she'd felt compelled to say she thought he was, years on in hindsight she felt the guests were being morally weighed up like truth vs kindness.

So being thought of deceitful, but 'passing' means more than being thought of as dishonest?

That's my view, Datun, yes.

Please don't misunderstand me. By now, MW passes quite well. We've discussed this among ourselves as we encounter MW on occasion, and it's clear that I'm in the minority at immediately reading MW as male. I think it's because I'm hypervigilant and my lizard brain screams danger at me when theirs doesn't. MW also seems to only ever wear a Sari in public and that is strongly coded as women's clothing for Europeans. So a lot of them need a second or third look.

Mostly what seems to give the sex away for the other women is behaviour. Sniggering when a survivor talks about her fear of males, dominating women-only panel discussions, demonstrating a complete lack of understanding of the female experience... I don't know if MW made more of an effort in the past, but everyone knows about MW being male now, so I think that influences our perception and MW's behaviour.

(Prior to becoming an LGBT issues campaigner, which happened some time before 2015, it won't have been a well known fact.)

@CharlieParley. Agreed. MW didn't dupe anyone. So its time to move the focus off MW and onto those who did the hiring and why. Why has no action been taken against him and WHO is not taking that action? Was it (misplaced) compassion, naivity, incompetence, self interest, belief in gender ideology, pressure or something else? With whom does the direct accountability lie?

Does anyone know the organizational structure of ERCC? Are the Board of Directors elected at an AGM by members? Are there members (as opposed to employees and directors)? If so, can anyone become a member?

Didn't I read on here that someone had written to the OSCR (Sco Charity Regulator) and had received a reply dismissing their concerns? (Which wouldn't surprise me tbh).

Apologies for being vague - I haven't time to check back on the threads discussing this.

Problem is MW and her partner are well kent faces in the political and 3rd sector. Their connections go all the way to our FM. His appointment was political, he was employed specifically to do what he is doing, letting us know that TWAW, they WILL have access to our single sex spaces, including the most sacrosanct, a rape crisis Centre, and there is fuck all we can do about it.

Aye, Feminist to her fingertips, the buck stops there. She sold our single sex spaces for power and another independence referendum.

@Grellbunt

Didn't I read on here that someone had written to the OSCR (Sco Charity Regulator) and had received a reply dismissing their concerns? (Which wouldn't surprise me tbh).

Apologies for being vague - I haven't time to check back on the threads discussing this.

Yes, I was among many who complained to OSCR and yes they dismissed my complaint.

The Scottish govt had a dept write to sites hosting content about Barbie K saying remove it or face court.

A dept that was not relevant to any aspect of that situation.

When you have a govt dept actively seeking out info they want suppressed and using the resource to do that and issue threats, check they have complied.

Because a person whose history and crimes are so incredibly extreme the public would cause outrage at going to a women's prison. At least I assume that's why.

Then something is horribly wrong.

That's the government and criminal justice. So not surprising that complaints about mw were met with a simple fuck off.

BK trial is also absent from the govt site which lists all trials etc.

I mean what the fuck is going on.

@Anotheruser02

So being thought of deceitful, but 'passing' means more than being thought of as dishonest?

For that guy definitely, did anyone read the account of the person who was at a party he was a guest at? Everyone was having a good time, accepted him as a transwoman, no one gave a shit as not transphobes, but then suddenly the host asked (at his request) who thinks M is a woman? Very uncomfortable silence followed. He is obsessed with himself fooling people.

Here's the link to that:

On Validation and Tolerance

(I knew what you meant, but took me a quite a while to find; many probably haven't seen it)

many probably haven't seen it

I hadn't, thank you for sharing that, it's useful. It's not the person it's the lie. The person is judged on their behaviour and the behaviour of MW is plain to see, seems it was plain to see at the party 24 years ago too. Perfect title as well.

it was plain to see at the party 24 years ago too

Correction for the benefit of people skim-reading - 14 years ago.

So, to sum up. MW is a narcissistic person who totally lacks any empathy with female victims, and has been enabled by other people/organisations who are putting woke points above women's feelings and safety.