Dh peaked last night…

[WhatsAppening]

And by ‘peaked’ I mean my usually mild mannered don’t rock the boat just be kind oh mums going on about that trans stuff again ABSOLUTELY LOST HIS SHIT at 17yo DD telling him ‘super straight’ is transphobic as fuck.

I’ve never heard him swear as much as he did at DD telling him ladycock is a thing. He’s not remotely homophobic but being told he should theoretically accept ladycock into his sex life was a tipping point.

He gets it now.

These are real issues being asked by people. The fact I can’t answer a simple question about it is outrageous.

I said exactly what trans women say lady dick is. How is that a deletable offence? It is because I expressed incredulity that we’re all being expected to go along with it?

extreme nativity

Amen to this. If conception is immaculate, who cares which genitals are being used, amirite kids?

@Marguerite2000

This quite funny really. I was a teenager in the '70s and this kind of self indulgent shite wouldn't have been tolerated for a second. You'd be told to grow the fuck up, get out and find a job, and consider yourself lucky if the 'shouting at' wasn't accompanied by a smack around the head.

Granted I'm a bit younger than you but I was thinking the same thing Marguerite

Although DS is not much older than OPs DD and it wouldn't fly for him either.

For people not knowing what ladydicks are (and who don’t want to google), I believe that quite a few were tweeted as pictures at JK Rowling. On a Twitter feed aimed at children. Baroness Nicholson got a few as well. Some may still be there.

Baroness Nicholson got fewer after she answered one tweet so her entire Twitter following saw the picture (and Twitter profile)

JK Rowling was worried about the children, (no answers) but I think the pictures were fewer after she a) involved her solicitors and b) threatened to rate them out of 10. She said something along the lines of “the highest so far is 5/10 and that was only for the effort the owner went through covering it in glitter”.

It's amazing how many posters excuse absolute dreadful behaviour the minute someone puts themselves under the trans umbrella.

The OP’s daughter hardly sounds like a delicate flower who was terrified. Sounds like she gave as good as she got. And while being extremely disrespectful to boot.

If this were in any other context, the DH 'losing his shit' and shouting and swearing at the 17 year old daughter, people would be concerned about the daughter. Because the daughter was expressing a view unpopular on MN, many seem to think victim-blaming is entirely appropriate.

Not true. There is no excuse for a man 'losing his shit' like this in a domestic situation. None at all. I have zero tolerance for abusive behaviour like this, having been a victim of it.

Jesus you have no idea what abusive is.

A shouty argument with a teen is not abuse ffs.

Dh ‘losing his shit’ was a raised voice and several swears. He wasn’t standing over her spitting and snarling.

‘Victim blaming’ actually DH was the victim here of a really poisonous tirade and accusations of bigotry and hatred. He responded accordingly.

It was no ones finest moment but not child abuse ffs.

Because the daughter was expressing a view unpopular on MN, many seem to think victim-blaming is entirely appropriate

Rubbish…any similar thread on aibu would get a mix of posts blaming the dh and blaming the dd

Depends what’s more important - relationship with daughter or whatever this is supposed to be a victory over.

@Karwomannghia

Depends what’s more important - relationship with daughter or whatever this is supposed to be a victory over.

Women’s rights? A stand against homophobia and/or coerced/ forced sexual boundary dismantling?

How was that achieved in OP’s home?

Many are changing genders on a weekly basis in our school, or switching back or changing sexuality as if it were a fashion piece of a pair of shoes.

The sad thing is, this should be a good thing. Kids feeling empowered to play with and surpass gender stereotypes and abandoning homophobia should have been a good thing.

But it’s been twisted by the regressive gender ideology into something that makes them feels their bodies need “correcting” or their sexual boundaries are an expression of hate or that females don’t need rights or a name because there’s no material differences in our society for those in female bodies and those in male bodies.

The absolute tragedy of how the twisted idea of gender identity took feminism’s good work highlighting and dismantling gender and turned it into something harmful and repressive.

@Karwomannghia

How was that achieved in OP’s home?

If you’re children were voicing racist or homophobic views in your home, would you challenge them or allow it?

Your*

There is no excuse for a man 'losing his shit' like this in a domestic situation. None at all. I have zero tolerance for abusive behaviour like this, having been a victim of it.

If there has to be collateral damage in this war on women then so be it.

I agree blibby that far from empowering children, it has become a lesson full of emasculation - of identity, security and well being.

Your post is very sexist squirry

There is no excuse for a man 'losing his shit' like this in a domestic situation. None at all

Why is it okay for the woman to lose her shit about her beliefs? That it is okay for her to swear, shout and be rude but not okay for him?
Are you really living in some parallel universe where it is okay for anyone to shout but a man? So you are silencing his views because he is a man?

If you’re children were voicing racist or homophobic views in your home, would you challenge them or allow it?

Challenge, by all means. But 'losing your shit' is not acceptable in a domestic context, whatever the views expressed.

@Scrapper142

However, it is still ok to use bisexual if you are a woman attracted to men and amab enbies. (Ie, men and men wearing eye-liner.) Or a man attracted to women and afab enbies. (Ie, women and women with short hair and wearing baggy t-shirts.)

Not sure where to even start with this gem!

So if I went and had a haircut and put one of my many baggy t-shirts on my BF would be bi-sexual. What happens when I put a blouse on? Is he straight again?

Regressive bullshit!

Just to clarify. I've just repeating what I've read some people describing their bisexual identity. I personally see bisexuality as someone who has sexual attraction to people of both sexes.

I think children need to push boundaries against their parents. It is not ok to tell anyone that they have to accept penis (specific penis or penises in general) against their will.

By trying out a series of arguments with their parents, children and teenagers can see what possible reactions are. Maybe it was better that OP had that discussion with her dad than with her (male?) boss in the pub?

@stepupandbecounted

Your post is very sexist squirry

There is no excuse for a man 'losing his shit' like this in a domestic situation. None at all

Why is it okay for the woman to lose her shit about her beliefs? That it is okay for her to swear, shout and be rude but not okay for him?
Are you really living in some parallel universe where it is okay for anyone to shout but a man? So you are silencing his views because he is a man?

I haven't said it's OK for a woman to lose her shit. The example in the OP concerned a man losing his shit, and some posters here cheering him on - that's what I was responding to.

Some posters seem to have very poor reading comprehension skills and be unbelievably naïve about teenagers, and seem to think they need (or always deserve) to be talked to in a gentle, explanatory tone. The OP's dd is virtually an adult,and if you actually read all the OP's posts, it's quite clear the dd's attitdude is well beyond the point where a kindly chat would even be well received, never mind effective.

It's great that your dh has seen the light, OP, but as ever, it's a bit depressing that the lightbulb moment for men so often goes "Be kind, twaw. Hang on, what? That means I should fancy transwomen? Ummm ok, maybe I don't think twaw after all (when it affects me) then!"

I try to navigate difficult discussions with my teens in a calm way with an understanding that they can be very impassioned and often wrong.
Having endured much ranting from my own teenaged mentally ill brother and the arguments back I’d prioritise my relationship with my kids.
Sounds like the OP’s peaking was nothing to do with women’s rights anyway but more to do with the suggestion he’d ever go near another man’s penis.

@SquirryTheSquirrel

If you’re children were voicing racist or homophobic views in your home, would you challenge them or allow it?

Challenge, by all means. But 'losing your shit' is not acceptable in a domestic context, whatever the views expressed.

And sometimes challenging teens can become shouting. It’s not ideal but some topics are too important and emotive to simply shrug and walk away. If your teen was under the belief that they had had the right to be dictating other people’s sexual preferences, I would really hope you might lose your shit.