Interesting experience with public toilets

Rosalisa · 2021-08-04T11:21:14+00:00

Presented with just one comment. I had to fly from Scotland to London last week. Bit bleary and unfamiliar with Luton. Inadvertently opened the door to the men's, I was met with horror so backed out, no bother. Into the women's. Where a man was coming out of a cubicle, short hair, no make-up, t shirt and jeans, beard. Perfectly pleasant but completely unchallenged by anyone including the male attendant. I think I've been really sheltered in the highlands. No thank you.

purpleboy · 04/08/2021 12:23

Welcome to the world where women have to shut up and move over so men can infiltrate all our private and safe spaces.

Chickenyhead · 04/08/2021 12:25

Now imagine that late at night, no attendant, alone. Fucking terrifying

Waitwhat23 · 04/08/2021 12:29

The reaction of the men when you went into their space says it all, doesn't it? The set up of public toilets in the future will be -

Men's toilets
Unisex toilets
Accessible toilets for those with a disability.

So men get to keep their space. We don't. Unsurprising.

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/08/2021 12:31

Men's feelings matter - no matter which way you look at it.

Women's don't.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/08/2021 12:36

Now imagine that late at night, no attendant, alone. Fucking terrifying

Exactly. There is no care or consideration for women and girls here.

notagermannoun · 04/08/2021 13:19

Did you speak to the male attendant OP?

ifIwerenotanandroid · 04/08/2021 13:43

No thank you indeed.

MangoBiscuit · 04/08/2021 13:45

I think I'd have walked back into the Mens, and said sorry, but there's blokes in the Ladies loo too.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints · 04/08/2021 13:50

@MangoBiscuit

I think I'd have walked back into the Mens, and said sorry, but there's blokes in the Ladies loo too.

So would I.

It's also going to get to the point where mens loos are safer, because men that wish to abuse women will be in the women's loo.

Tablow · 04/08/2021 14:03

I have wondered about identifying as a man when I meet the long queue at the women's toilets at the station and have to endure men going in and out very quickly as we all wait for ever.

DH says I couldn't because it's mainly all urinals. I said I could probably improvise a squat somehow.

Gottalife · 04/08/2021 14:09

short hair, no make-up, t shirt and jeans, beard.

Maybe not so much the beard but isn't that a discription of a lot of ordinary women these days?

PortMerrionCentre · 04/08/2021 14:12

Could have been a trans man using the correct toilet for their sex?

Anotheruser02 · 04/08/2021 14:15

@Gottalife

short hair, no make-up, t shirt and jeans, beard.

Maybe not so much the beard but isn't that a discription of a lot of ordinary women these days?

I think she means not attempting to pretend they are female at all, not that there should be a dress code.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 14:16

To be fair it is possible that he had just made the same mistake you did but in reverse and if there were no women in there he may not have noticed. I am guessing from the fact that you got the wrong door that the signage was bad. I think also describing it as ‘fucking terrifying’ is extreme hyperbole. If you are in a public place with make and female loos then there are no doubt men walking about this in an of itself is not ‘fucking terrifying’. The man washed his hands and left as far as I can see, airports are generally fairly busy places no matter the time of day or night. There are lots of times which can legit a be described as fucking terrifying, I am not sure being in proximity to a man minding his own business and washing his hands is one of them. I absolutely agree that toilets should be segregated by sex but using language like ‘fucking terrifying’ helps no one

YetAnotherSpartacus · 04/08/2021 14:19

I think also describing it as ‘fucking terrifying’ is extreme hyperbole

Which no one did. They suggested that alone, late at night it would be fucking terrifying. Which it would be.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 14:21

@YetAnotherSpartacus

I think also describing it as ‘fucking terrifying’ is extreme hyperbole

Which no one did. They suggested that alone, late at night it would be fucking terrifying. Which it would be.

Standing next to man who is minding his own business and washing his hands cannot reasonably be described as ‘fucking terrifying’ at any point of the day unless you have pre existing issues.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 04/08/2021 14:21

@korawick12345

To be fair it is possible that he had just made the same mistake you did but in reverse and if there were no women in there he may not have noticed. I am guessing from the fact that you got the wrong door that the signage was bad. I think also describing it as ‘fucking terrifying’ is extreme hyperbole. If you are in a public place with make and female loos then there are no doubt men walking about this in an of itself is not ‘fucking terrifying’. The man washed his hands and left as far as I can see, airports are generally fairly busy places no matter the time of day or night. There are lots of times which can legit a be described as fucking terrifying, I am not sure being in proximity to a man minding his own business and washing his hands is one of them. I absolutely agree that toilets should be segregated by sex but using language like ‘fucking terrifying’ helps no one

The fucking terrifying part was a reference to if this had been late at night, no one else around and no staff member to assist should one wish to quite rightly, ask a man to leave.

I'm not sure I'd feel that way (may/may not) however I can appreciate other women may. Thankfully I don't speak for everyone but the law protects us with segregated spaces.

Apparently

TooWicked · 04/08/2021 14:23

@PortMerrionCentre

Could have been a trans man using the correct toilet for their sex?

True, but given that for most women all of their senses, plus gut feeling, tells them immediately if someone is a man or woman, I’m going to believe the OP that it was a man.

And it’s true that we many get to the point where the men’s loos might be safer than the women’s. Ironically the only men I’d be happy sharing a public toilet with, are the ones that respect women’s boundaries and would never dream of using the women’s loos in the first place.

WookeyHole · 04/08/2021 14:23

This just makes me think there needs to be some sort of concerted women's week of action, all of us identifying as male and using the men's loos to see how they like it.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 04/08/2021 14:23

And I think many airports are pretty quiet these days, relatives have this past weekend flown in to Luton. It was deserted, middle of the day too

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 04/08/2021 14:24

Pre existing condition? I've been abused three times in life by men. Do I class myself in this category?

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 14:25

Unsettling, confusing, uncomfortable all of these things absolutely but not ‘fucking terrifying’ for an average woman. I accept that some women have us experiences that would render it very alarming and that is one of the many many reasons toilets should be single sex.

Aposterhasnoname · 04/08/2021 14:27

Whilst I’m the most radical of radical feminists and am campaigning as hard as I can for single sex spaces to remain just that, I do think it’s a heck of a coincidence that you accidentally went into the men’s room at exactly the same time as a man was using the ladies.

Gottalife · 04/08/2021 14:28

@PortMerrionCentre

Could have been a trans man using the correct toilet for their sex?

That's a brilliant answer. A trans man complying with the GC intimidation.

korawick12345 · 04/08/2021 14:29

@tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz

Pre existing condition? I've been abused three times in life by men. Do I class myself in this category?

If being stood near a man washing his hands would be terrifying for you then yes. I am not diminishing in any way the fact that some women for whatever reason may feel that way, I was merely challenging the fact that a poster stated it would be ‘fucking terrifying’ seemingly as an objective fact, rather than her subjective feeling. As I said the fact that some women would find it terrifying is one of hundreds of reasons why we have to fight this fight to keep single sex areas single sex. I just felt that that particular description was not subjectively accurate in terms of the situation described