Interesting experience with public toilets

[Rosalisa]

Presented with just one comment. I had to fly from Scotland to London last week. Bit bleary and unfamiliar with Luton. Inadvertently opened the door to the men's, I was met with horror so backed out, no bother.

Into the women's. Where a man was coming out of a cubicle, short hair, no make-up, t shirt and jeans, beard. Perfectly pleasant but completely unchallenged by anyone including the male attendant.

I think I've been really sheltered in the highlands.

No thank you.

[quote ArabellaScott]And who breast feeds in a public toilet?

[/quote] This is very powerful for many different reasons - thank you for posting it.

“Who breastfeed in a public toilet?”

I have expressed milk in an airport toilet. I had to travel (day trip) for work whilst still nursing. I found no other space and would probably have got mastitis if I hadn’t been able to express. It was beyond painful.

Seriously @korawick12345 of course it can. The main areas of an airport, or a shopping centre or even a local doctor's surgery are probably covered by CCTV and you're unlikely to ever be completely alone. At night there could an hour or more before someone else came in. and no cctv. no attendant. People do get raped in toilets. They don't get raped right in the middle of a concourse. That's why it is frightening at night and not in the middle of the day - lonely, unfrequented closed space.

It is also the case that men are perfectly at liberty to be on the concourse - that fact that one is in the ladies already suggests that this is someone for whom, at the very least, women's boundaries do not matter. Ok they may well not be a rapist but they might still give you verbal hassle that you struggle to deal with (half asleep in the middle of the night) and the fear that comes with that, when you don't know when your persecutor will stop. Where is their line, the one they won't cross? You just don't know.

So if you're not frightened you're quite frankly an idiot because you're pretending to know something that you cannot - so don't preentend you're all knowing and different from the rest of us. You're not. You don't know if the man is a threat (most men are not a threat but most men do not go into women's spaces) and you don't know how the next minutes are going to play out. And you're in a confined, unmonitored, lonely space. And you may be 14, or 83 and rapists are not fussy.

An analogy. A relative is a postman. He puts his hand into letter boxes. A confined space. Most dogs do not bite him. He has never been bitten in 15 years but he has had some close moments. He has seen many colleague with injured hands because postmen and women get bitten often. He says his heart starts going if he approaches a door with a dog behind it. He has never been bitten. He has no fear of dogs in other circumstances (he does not have 'issues' in other words). But this one, with owners out at work and the confined space - well he is frightened. This is because he knows it is a risk, that dogs are risk, that the confined space and the lack of supervision are a risk. He'd be an idiot not to have heightened awareness, not to be aware of the risk, not to be a bit scared at the least.

And the dog does not chose to be left alone at home. The man is choosing to cross women's boundaries and be in their loos.

Whilst I agree with the point about separate toilets etc I never fail to be amazed at the ridiculous level of man bashing which pops up under just about any subject on MN, for example the implications that any male in the proximity of a female toilet must be an abuser or rapist etc, get real the majority of men do not abuse, assault or rape girls or women and if anyone reading this has experienced this I'm sorry but that is still not a good enough reason for what appears to be anti male hate, I was as a young man sexually assaulted by an older woman, it does not mean that I judge all women in that light.

Please don't speak over women. Our experience of male violence is not the same as your experience as a man. Most women have /or will experience violence / sexual harrassment / sexual assault from a male perpetrator at some point in their lives.

And your attempt, as a male, to minimise womens experience of male violence and sexual assault towards is not welcome or appreciated.

And who breast feeds in a public toilet?

Plenty of women do. Including myself when my children were of that age.

[quote ArabellaScott]And who breast feeds in a public toilet?

[/quote] That just makes me want to cry. So bloody true. Thanks for posting.

Hollie McNish does a lot of thought provoking poetry on the subject of women.

@Tablow

I have wondered about identifying as a man when I meet the long queue at the women's toilets at the station and have to endure men going in and out very quickly as we all wait for ever.

DH says I couldn't because it's mainly all urinals. I said I could probably improvise a squat somehow.

I’m a woman and the number of times I’ve made my DH stand guard at the men’s door so I could nip in the cubicle due to long queue at the ladies.