Interesting experience with public toilets

[Rosalisa]

Presented with just one comment. I had to fly from Scotland to London last week. Bit bleary and unfamiliar with Luton. Inadvertently opened the door to the men's, I was met with horror so backed out, no bother.

Into the women's. Where a man was coming out of a cubicle, short hair, no make-up, t shirt and jeans, beard. Perfectly pleasant but completely unchallenged by anyone including the male attendant.

I think I've been really sheltered in the highlands.

No thank you.

Oooh is NAMALT so soon??

and now if you could just tell us how we tell the men who will assault and rape us from The ones who won’t just by looking at them, that would be splendid! I mean I’m sure you know how we can do this right?

trump card?

Fucking hell.

Revenons a nos moutons.

Females don't want males in their single-sex toilets. (Don't bother arguing, all you MRAs who've somehow found this thread.) What are we going to do to ensure that female single-sex toilets stay female? Is anyone collating which loos across the country have remained single-sex? What effect will the government's recent announcements make (for new-builds only IIRC)?

Korawick12345: "There are lots of times which can legit a be described as fucking terrifying, I am not sure being in proximity to a man minding his own business and washing his hands is one of them."

You've chosen to edit out the most crucial item of information here. The man isn't standing in a supermarket or a queue at the bus stop: he's in the women's toilets. By deliberately leaving out this piece of information, you are minimising the OP's experience.

It's awful that happened to you skylark, but if you did judge other women in that light because your experience tells you that behaviour isn't beneath anyone then no one would blame you.

No one chooses their trauma responses, you can logically know the facts but that can't translate them to not freezing up every time that is triggered because you want it to.

@Nonmaquillee

Korawick12345: "There are lots of times which can legit a be described as fucking terrifying, I am not sure being in proximity to a man minding his own business and washing his hands is one of them."

You've chosen to edit out the most crucial item of information here. The man isn't standing in a supermarket or a queue at the bus stop: he's in the women's toilets. By deliberately leaving out this piece of information, you are minimising the OP's experience.

The op wasn’t the one who said it was terrifying, it was the poster who came up with the hypothetical. So absolutely I was going with a hypothetical in the same way that she was. That’s the problem with hypotheticals they can be whatever anyone wants them to be. So I wasn’t minimising I was looking at the hypothetical from my POV. As I have said I don’t think hypotheticals are very useful for this sort of discussion

That’s not the scenario the Op posted

It's the scenario Chickeny said would be "fucking terrifying" which it would be for many women. This is not the thread for minimising women's feelings.

MrsRobinsonsHandprints
"It's also going to get to the point where mens loos are safer, because men that wish to abuse women will be in the women's loo".

Yep - those in the gents will be desperately trying to cover up from their unexpected guest. I know a couple of posters have suggested 'revenge bog raids' but I think you'd be preaching to the converted.

As I have said I don’t think hypotheticals are very useful for this sort of discussion

Fabulous. Now we've had your fascinating opinion on that, shall we get back to the point?

Gold medal for obfuscation goes to Korawick

@Ereshkigalangcleg

That’s not the scenario the Op posted

It's the scenario Chickeny said would be "fucking terrifying" which it would be for many women. This is not the thread for minimising women's feelings.

As I have said repeatedly, we can all post hypothetical situations and state how we would feel in that scenario. I am just not sure what the point would be. Chickeny’s post looked like she was speaking for all women, I disagreed with her. She has since clarified that she was speaking simply from her own POV, which of course is completely valid and had that been clear originally I never would have addressed any comment to her post at all.

We already had a winner for the "pointless derailing" Olympic event in AIBU but Kora can have the silver.

@Ereshkigalangcleg

As I have said I don’t think hypotheticals are very useful for this sort of discussion

Fabulous. Now we've had your fascinating opinion on that, shall we get back to the point?

Well we could but once again you seem to have decided to address your point to me, rather than just as you say move on.

Jesus wept!

OK @korawick12345 how do we discuss things that haven't happened today?

Can we refer to things that have happened before? Or is that just belabouring a point?

Can't look back, can't look forward... what time frame do you want us to work within? 24 hours? A minute?

If you have trouble understanding the isues some women have with some men in some situations then maybe shut up and listen for a while instead of telling those women they are wrong to feel how they feel.

It's called empathy.

This is FWR. We discuss a lot of things within a wider context. Get used to it or just scroll on by if it irritates you!

Chickeny’s post looked like she was speaking for all women, Did it?

Meh!

I'm certainly going to scroll now.

@Nonmaquillee

Gold medal for obfuscation goes to Korawick

Again, you seem to be determined to try and engage me rather than engage with the point of the thread, I don’t know why that is but I assume it’s some sort of attempt to try and get the last word.

Is it too soon for a recent recipe find?

fascinating how it's always the toilet threads that attract the NAMALT/you big meanie man bashers/ this never happens posters isnt it

anyway my friend has an irish coffee mousse and I very much want one now

@CuriousaboutSamphire

Jesus wept!

OK @korawick12345 how do we discuss things that haven't happened today?

Can we refer to things that have happened before? Or is that just belabouring a point?

Can't look back, can't look forward... what time frame do you want us to work within? 24 hours? A minute?

If you have trouble understanding the isues some women have with some men in some situations then maybe shut up and listen for a while instead of telling those women they are wrong to feel how they feel.

It's called empathy.

This is FWR. We discuss a lot of things within a wider context. Get used to it or just scroll on by if it irritates you!

What are you on about? I don’t care at all what people discuss but if they choose to put something on a thread it’s up for discussion IMO.

It seems to me there are at least three ways of taking action other than stampeding the Gents:

1. Get the government to enforce a minimum of single-sex facilities everywhere. Extra unisex/genderfree can be added, but the minimum has to be in place first.

1. Get companies, councils & owners/management of facilities to ensure that they have an adequate number of single-sex facilities. Various ways of doing this.

1. Direct action, e.g. report every time someone of the opposite sex is in what should be a single-sex facility; band together with other women to use the Ladies together in sufficient numbers to keep anyone else out while everyone does the necessary & then leaves together.

Any other ideas?

Wow, someone actually described rape (and a poster's experience thereof) as "a trump card".

On a feminist forum.

You're disgusting.

@ArabellaScott

trump card?

Fucking hell.

I know