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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Lesbian Visibility Week

999 replies

Shizuku · 27/04/2021 11:40

Shout out to my fellow lesbians on this important week!

I will be wearing my lesbian pride badge right next to my trans pride badge for the whole week in all public spaces.

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PurgatoryOfPotholes · 29/04/2021 19:43

What about just accepting the words "I'm not sexually attracted to [group]" without demanding that someone justify why? Why try to find moral fault with the reason?

If someone is not sexually attracted to someone else, why should they date them?

I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who didn't find me attractive. Why would anyone?!

Sophoclesthefox · 29/04/2021 19:43

Flowers justawoman

It’s truly bizarre and quite monstrous that you have to navigate lesbophobia here. I’m sorry.

TinselAngel · 29/04/2021 19:43

@ASugarr

Just wanted to say, I know it's not easy for transgender woman during this time as a lot of hate gets drawn your way, especially during lesbian visibility week. However I just wanted you to know that it's super awesome how open and honest you are. No matter how much others will try to tell you otherwise, you are valid 🤍
Compare and contrast this with this poster's belief that trans widows identities are not valid, and furthermore that her Twitter followers should try and get us hounded off Twitter and shut down.
Shizuku · 29/04/2021 19:44

@HamsterV2

Shizuku - *I looked at your link. I don't have time to read every single entry, but it looks to me like a bunch of people stating that if you refuse to date someone because they are trans, you are a transphobe.

Personally, I only partly agree - I think that being a transphobe is one quite common reason for it, *

So are genital preferences transphobic now then?

"So are genital preferences transphobic now then?"

No.

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blackwhiteandstripey · 29/04/2021 19:45

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Shizuku · 29/04/2021 19:45

@Sophoclesthefox

Flowers justawoman

It’s truly bizarre and quite monstrous that you have to navigate lesbophobia here. I’m sorry.

Thanks, but it's OK - I'm used to it.
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Ereshkigalangcleg · 29/04/2021 19:46

One thing never changes, males support males
I have never seen a TW make a statement or campaign for anything that would improve the lives of females. They work to improve things for other TW and push women out further
Which makes it even more pathetic that women trip up over themselves to centre these males
They need to engage their critical thinking skills

They do. And stop fawning over what males say, of all gender identities. Understand that it's not a great life strategy as a woman to believe whatever random males tell you. But that is hard, when you don't have any real feminist analysis in your understanding of the world.

ASugarr · 29/04/2021 19:47

Actually I said that it was inappropriate because calling yourself a widow when someone hasn't died sounds incredibly insensitive. I know there are other's who do the same thing which I still think is gross. Imagine if anyone else did that to others?

justawoman · 29/04/2021 19:47

You want to appropriate my name and friends now as well as my identity as a lesbian, Shizuku? Gosh, there’s one I haven’t seen before. How...
Colonialist of you.

Blibbyblobby · 29/04/2021 19:47

@PurgatoryOfPotholes

What about just accepting the words "I'm not sexually attracted to [group]" without demanding that someone justify why? Why try to find moral fault with the reason?

If someone is not sexually attracted to someone else, why should they date them?

I wouldn't want to have sex with someone who didn't find me attractive. Why would anyone?!

I think the answer to that question will be quite strongly correlated to sex rather than gender.
ASugarr · 29/04/2021 19:47

@justawoman

That was to ASugarr, sorry if that’s unclear
Cool. That's your view. I disagree.
Shizuku · 29/04/2021 19:47

@GNCQ

Shizuku are you attracted to people with a penis or only vagina havers?
Do you never feel any attraction to anyone until you have seen their genitals?
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Sophoclesthefox · 29/04/2021 19:49

Lesbophobia is, like lesbianism itself, invisibalised in favour of more respected social forms. The wider amorphous ‘homophobia’ serves today as a catchall for any anti-gay sentiment, but it only really captures what gay men face: prejudice and discrimination based on their sexuality i.e same-sex attraction (to other men). Anti-gay prejudice experienced by men is pure homophobia, whereas lesbophobia is purely misogynistic. It is not the same-sex element of lesbianism, that two women engage sexually together that is objected to (as we know, many people enjoy watching depictions of lesbianism in porn and heterosexual women will perform lesbianism for men’s arousal). It is the sexual prohibition against men that is hated and is the root cause of lesbophobia

What form does lesbophobia take practically? Prejudice and harassment at work are common, manifesting in the form of lesbophobic comments, often poorly disguised as ‘banter’ or ‘jokes’ (always at lesbians’ expense) that actually amount to sexualisation, sexual bullying, and sexual degradation. Within the workplace lesbians are targeted for a lack of conformity as women, despite it being far from the site of the family (the home). For some us we do not need to ‘come out’ at work, it is already guessed by everyone we meet that we are lesbians due to, basically, gender non-conformity in terms of appearance, mannerism, gait, voice, and distance from the behavioural norms expected of women (femininity).

However unique or unusual lesbians as women sometimes are, what we are subjected to in terms of lesbophobia is related to the universal status of women and indicative of how hotly policed women overall are. Being reduced to our sexuality is a universal diminishment all women face. If for lesbians, explicit refusal to have a sexuality that is available to men, lesbophobia represents a particular height of misogyny; that a woman is worthless and to be demeaned if she does not accrue legitimacy in the eyes of men. Lesbophobia directly stems from a woman who enforces a sexual boundary because her refusal encapsulates the possibility of any other woman refusing to be sexualised by men. Lesbians represent a “no” to men that is unfathomable at best, and violently hated at worst

(From onthewomanquestion.com )

TheWeeDonkey · 29/04/2021 19:50

@Sophoclesthefox

Flowers justawoman

It’s truly bizarre and quite monstrous that you have to navigate lesbophobia here. I’m sorry.

Seconded, some of the posts on here are jaw dropping.
Sophoclesthefox · 29/04/2021 19:51

Clearly, my previous post was not directed at you, Shizuku. What a silly response.

ArabellaScott · 29/04/2021 19:52

Sexual orientation is not just a matter of genitals, as justawoman said. There's a whole history, culture, shared language, reference points. It's insulting and arrogant to think that someone can be a part of that world just by using a certain word to try and describe oneself.

The word is one thing, as said above. The reality is infinitely more complex, and no matter how anyone tries to redefine the world through language, words can only reach so far. They cannot actually change reality.

Shizuku · 29/04/2021 19:53

@Sophoclesthefox

Clearly, my previous post was not directed at you, Shizuku. What a silly response.
Just trying to keep things light-hearted.
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Whythesadface · 29/04/2021 19:53

If it has to explain again and again to new people that a Transwoman can be a lesbian, has it ever occurred to Stonewall and other organizations that the reason is because they have got it wrong.
That they will spend forever trying to force the population as a whole to toe their line and become liars.

WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 29/04/2021 19:54

ASugarr
I include you in the group I believe harm women. You do not support unless a person agrees wholly with your ideology. You do say you recognise the difference between sex and gender but then do not recognise same sex attraction and deny lesbians the words to define themselves without including males

BernardBlackMissesLangCleg · 29/04/2021 19:54

@Sophoclesthefox

Clearly, my previous post was not directed at you, Shizuku. What a silly response.
goady male posting on FWR is goady

quelle surprise eh?

the clothes change but the misogyny remains

ASugarr · 29/04/2021 19:55

@WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld

ASugarr I include you in the group I believe harm women. You do not support unless a person agrees wholly with your ideology. You do say you recognise the difference between sex and gender but then do not recognise same sex attraction and deny lesbians the words to define themselves without including males
Okay. I mean I probably do more for women and women's rights than others here but you can think what you want.
Shizuku · 29/04/2021 19:56

@HecatesCatsInFancyHats

The entitlement needed to sweep in and change the language women use to describe themselves, imposing this language upon them under pain of social ostracism and worse, to alter the meanings of words they use to identify themselves and their sexuality, to annexe their spaces and insist upon being prioritised, well it's very colonial male isn't it? Very patriarchal. Oppressing and demanding dominion over a group with less power. I mean it's almost as if it's the same old shit dressed up as progressive.
Stop doing it then.
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WhoNeedsaManOfTheWorld · 29/04/2021 19:57

What an easy claim to make on an anonymous forum. Your whole ideology harms women
I hope you see the light one dayFlowers

TheWeeDonkey · 29/04/2021 19:58

Just trying to keep things light-hearted.

I'd assumed all of your posts on here were just for shits and giggles.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 29/04/2021 19:59

What an easy claim to make on an anonymous forum.

She's just trying to "keep things light hearted" as Shizuku has vowed to do. I certainly chuckled.