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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Transman Prinz Chiyo Gomes splits gay community: gay man accused of hate

311 replies

Shedbuilder · 30/03/2021 10:11

Prinz Chiyo is a transman who entered (and I'm told won, but can't confirm) the Mr Gay England competition last year:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/newsbeat-53936529

Chiyo has talked publicly about Chiyo's experience of sexual abuse from an early ago. Chiyo is also an icon among young girls who want to escape the burden of femininity and is celebrated on BBC's Newsbeat.

A gay man who tweets as Sheridan Sinclair recently wrote an article about Chiyo and why he objected to a someone who talks openly about their vagina and the fact they menstruate qualifying to compete in Mr Gay England. This has set off a Twitterstorm. Sheridan Sinclair has been forced to close his Twitter account and take down his article.

twitter.com/mrgayengland/status/1376101627959074821

Before he was shut down, Sheridan Sinclair pointed out that many gay men have spent large parts of their lives being told there's something wrong with them, that they should learn to love 'pussy', and that having Chiyo compete in Mr Gay England is homophobic.

Sheridan Sinclair has been reported to the police for hate crime and is expecting a visit from the rozzers this morning. Fair Cop, I hope he's been in touch with you.

OP posts:
HoardingSamphireSaurus · 10/01/2022 12:23

Not really as I am not sure what you actually said/meant re, the drag name Miss Carriage, or similar. It all seems to be wrapped up in your admiration for Prinx Chiyo. Which is confusing.

Reading this room you will note that transmen are women and transwomen are men. You might not have found the T+Cs that are specific to this part of the website though. They quite heavily monitor the way we express ourselves when we say that. So sometimes we come across all weird and mealy mouthed. Not because we want to but because we have to. There has been a little of that in some of the replies to you so far.

But mostly, disagree all you want to. But be very well prepared to be quite robustly challenged on every point of that disagreement!

RoaringtoLangClegintheDark · 10/01/2022 12:28

I think Georgia was/is definitely condemning the man who chose that awful name.

HaroldMeeker · 10/01/2022 12:29

Very arrogant of you, Georgia, that first post. Childlike. You seem to be pontificating on the basis that we know nothing, have no experience, have never thought this through properly but now YOU'RE here to "educate" us, we will see the light and lo! Cue heavenly lightyears and choirs singing, because Georgia has saved us.
I don't share your religion or ideology, matey. The answer is no.

VestofAbsurdity · 10/01/2022 12:30

@GeorgiaPass

What clarification do you need? This is a new thread to me and I had seen the discussion regarding the performer's name which I disagree with also and so was just highlighting that and that I hope anyone affected is ok

Does this help?

You'll get no disagreement here on the abhorrence of the name Miss Carriage, perhaps you could ask them and those within the community you are a part of to Just be kind and educate themselves, you'll do that of course as you have no problem voicing your disagreement and informing people of how wrong they are.
Sophoclesthefox · 10/01/2022 12:31

@GeorgiaPass

What clarification do you need? This is a new thread to me and I had seen the discussion regarding the performer's name which I disagree with also and so was just highlighting that and that I hope anyone affected is ok

Does this help?

You don’t need to do this, Georgia. You don’t need to check in and check up on well-being like this.

State your position calmly and clearly, and let other peoples reactions to it be theirs to deal with.

It’s OK. We’re all grown ups and nobody needs coddled.

Artichokeleaves · 10/01/2022 12:44

@Helleofabore

I think it must be coming from the lobby groups. That people are uneducated about a topic and if they are they will all agree.

If they are 'educated' they will all agree.

Do I just need to 'educate' you on my views until you agree, Georgia? Could I educate everyone here into unconditional agreement that they believe in guardian angels for example?

Or, as you are saying, is it ok for people to respect that different people have different views and perspectives? And the point of conversation is to share those views and perspectives without necessarily having to reach a point of shared agreement?

Artichokeleaves · 10/01/2022 12:47

I'm not sure that 'read the room' and 'be kind' incidentally in conjunction with a person who is mocking mothers' bereavement with their choice of woman-identified name quite covers it. That behaviour repulses me. But again, it's the behaviour I find appalling, unacceptable and revolting in its disrespect for others, not that I personally dislike the person. I've never met them.

VestofAbsurdity · 10/01/2022 12:48

If they are 'educated' they will all agree.

It fails at the first hurdle, it's not education in any way, shape or form. I can't say what I class it as as that is not allowed on here but education is not chanting meaningless mantras, education is not compelling speech, education is not abusing and threatening people who disagree.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 10/01/2022 12:51

as a non binary person who dared to speak for a member of the LGBTQ community I have been met with hostility

Not one person here other than you gives a flying fig about your identity. Your sex, just like your friend's, hasn't changed regardless of what you choose to call yourself.

If you can't see the blatant homophobia in telling gay people, ie same SEX attracted, they are wrong for not wanting to pretend straight males are lesbians or straight females are gay men, then you might want to take a look at yourself first.

We have all already 'educated ourselves' gender ideology, because if it is no longer a mental health condition it can't be anything other than a religious type belief to think you can change sex or have no sex just because you say so, is misogynistic nonsense. There is no male or female brain. Behaviour and appearance are just that.

Your friend wanted access to things that weren't meant for them, just like males in female prisons and sports etc it's not about them being 'excluded' from life. Just certain things based on sex.

No one can change sex so why are we being told that the second a person claims a 'trans identity', that their feelings and mental health must bizarrely take priority over the reality and needs of everyone else?

Mummyoflittledragon · 10/01/2022 12:56

@kesstrel

Chiyo posted on Instagram that they have a diagnosis of borderline personality disorder. Male of that what you will.

Society has now handed a huge amount of power to individuals with cluster B personality disorders, a group that is clinically known for manipulative behaviours. The damaging consequences to ordinary people who happen to come within their radar can be enormous. And letting them determine or influence policy is sheer madness.

Oh god. I hadn’t really joined the dots. 😩
RoaringtoLangClegintheDark · 10/01/2022 12:57

Going off on a tangent here. My question:

Would Freddie, Prinx Choyo, and other biologically female trans people, have been listened to, indulged and supported by the Establishment in any way like the way they have been if the trans rights movement had been led by them and them alone?

Just imagine for a moment if there were no biologically male trans people and this were an issue that only affected biologically female people.

Does anyone really think we’d be where we are now with “pregnant people” and “cervix havers” and “menstruators” etc? Would biologically female people alone, or even as the majority, ever have been taken seriously on this?

Would they have had the political clout, the social capital and the access to huge funding streams that the TRA movement has benefited from?

Do biologically female people have that kind of status in our society?

If we look at the enormous uphill, decades- or centuries-long struggles for biologically female people to achieve any kind of justice or equality on any issues that exclusively or predominantly effect women (AHFs), then the answer is pretty obvious.

Just yesterday there was a discussion about how women police officers still don’t have access to equipment (eg stab vests) designed for the female body, after 20 years of asking - leading to serious health issues for them due to wearing the ones designed for the male body. Leading in one case to the death of an officer - she had to remove her stab vest as it was physically impeding her from doing her job, in a dangerous situation. And she was duly stabbed and killed. And still the situation hasn’t been addressed.

It took decades of campaigning for rape within marriage to be recognised as a crime - and even though it is now (only since 1991 in England and Wales!), there are still many, many people today who believe in the concept of a man’s “conjugal rights”, that a woman permanently signs away her right to withhold consent when she gets married.

This is the reality of issues that only or predominantly affect biologically female people. Women’s health issues being ignored, domestic violence, horrendous rates of sexual violence and appallingly low conviction rates, men abandoning their children and squirrelling out of paying maintenance, leaving it all on the mother to provide - society manages to live with these and countless other injustices just fine.

It’s useful for TRAs to have some high profile biologically female trans people in the picture as it gives them legitimacy and diverts attention away from the fact it’s primarily a male rights movement. But I doubt very much that the average middle aged male late transitioner, for example, gives a shiny shit about a (biologically) female teenager who identifies as trans or NB.

We see in fact how the former demographic is very willing to encourage irreversible medical treatment in the latter demographic, no matter the eventual cost to the young person involved, in order to validate by association their own identity.

Once again - this can never be said too often - there is no symmetry between the sexes. Overall there is no parallel between the experiences and realities of male and female trans people.

There aren’t numerous middle aged, heterosexual women suddenly transitioning.

The exponential (4000% I think it is?) increase in teenagers declaring themselves trans has been concentrated among female teenagers, and has a completely different point of origin from that which initiates the process with those middle aged male people.

The world is still built around, by and for male people. We have not yet begun to attack the deep structural inequalities that exist between male and female people. All we have achieved so far is to scratch the surface of it all. And look at the backlash we’re receiving for the few gains we had made.

GeorgiaPass, no doubt you think you’re doing something seriously radical by identifying as NB. Challenging cis-heteropatriarchal norms or something. And tbh, when I was your age, I probably would have done the same. Like many women on here, I haven’t always been “gender conforming” at all. For years I went by a boy’s name and wore only “boys’” clothes, and would undoubtedly have identified as trans or NB if it had been a thing then.

Luckily for me though this was several decades ago so nobody encouraged me to make any permanent changes to my body; nobody was encouraging me to do any of it at all. And with time I worked out that it was all a trauma response - to the traumas I suffered as a girl on a personal level, and to the collective shared trauma of being female in an inherently misogynistic, patriarchal world.

I still hate the way women are second class citizens in the world we live in, possibly more so now than ever, but pretending I’m not a woman is not going to do anything to make that any better. It just reinforces the idea that other women deserve to be stereotyped, that women are stereotypes.

I hope you do stay on this board, Georgia. I think you have displayed an unusual graciousness in your acknowledgment both that you were inadvertently excluding the lesbian and bi women who are regulars on this board, and that your original tone was not the best way to start a dialogue.

I totally understand the fervour of youth, and idealism. The difference between older people and younger people is that we know what it’s like to be young, but you don’t yet know what it’s like to be older. You may be surprised to find that many/most of us still harbour our youthful idealism within us, but it is now informed by decades of life experience - often hard won and sometimes bitter experience - which gives us a level of insight we simply didn’t have when we were younger.

You may find that there are levels of connection you didn’t expect here at all. I hope so.

Datun · 10/01/2022 13:13

@GeorgiaPass

The women on here have been discussing trans ideology for the best part of seven odd years. Most of them could write a bloody thesis about it. They've scrutinised all the studies, listened to rulings, read expert advice from gender clinics across the globe.

They've also read numerous narratives from trans people. And their partners. Lawyers here have studied the laws and various acts of Parliament, doctors here talk about their experience, and scientists and endocrinologist talk about the science. We've listened to what radio hosts say, who they have on their programmes, read newspapers, heard podcasts, reported on schools policies, and highlighted the work of lobby groups.

Two things:

  1. The women here are probably more educated about this issue than anywhere else on the Internet.

  2. The primary, most often used opposition to all the conclusions that they have reached is 'be kind'.

I can promise you, 'be kind' is a euphemism for comply, or else.

Similar to your if you can't be kind, then please shut up.

Women who do not shut up get issued horrific rape threats, sent death threats, they are arrested, they are visited by the police for wrong think, they are sent bomb threads, prevented from attending meetings, they employers are threatened, they are doxxed, their children are doxxed, they have been taken to court (unsuccessfully).

When sexual assault victims cannot access female counsellors, female prisoners are being housed with male rapists, and women everywhere having their hopes and dreams in sport completely dashed, the entire concept of complying out of kindness comes across as horrifically chilling.

Don't tell us we don't know what we're talking about.

Don't tell us to be kind or shut up.

Like others, I would recommend you stick around, though.

Datun · 10/01/2022 13:20

It’s useful for TRAs to have some high profile biologically female trans people in the picture as it gives them legitimacy and diverts attention away from the fact it’s primarily a male rights movement.

YYY

Artichokeleaves · 10/01/2022 13:29

Excellently explained as usual, Datun

The assumption is always by activists that women have insufficiently listened to and informed themselves about TQ+ people and their needs and views and voices, and that is the sole reason they will possibly have for disagreement.

You will never see an activist wonder if they have insufficiently listened to and informed themselves about women and women's needs and views and voices. That they have not yet sufficiently understood women's viewpoints and lived experiences. That perhaps if they educated themselves enough about women they'd understand.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 10/01/2022 13:31

@GeorgiaPass I'm also pleased you haven't posted and bolted - we see a lot of that round these parts.

I'm interested in your repeated apologies if you have hurt anyone's feelings or upset anyone - no one has said anything which suggests they are taking your comments personally. They aren't necessary, you haven't done any harm - we like that you are posting because we are keen to hear from you as a wide group.

I think it is striking that we are robust and welcome discussion - whereas the conversations I have had with people who believe in gender tend to dissolve because apparently, my disagreement is literal violence.

Interesting, isn't it?

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 10/01/2022 13:38

@OhHolyJesus -

That's a good point. The purity spiral seems to be quite unkind to those who find themselves at the end of it.

I really hope Freddie has thought about that because, after all, Freddie is female and no one ever gives a shiny shit about us.

Transparency about ten grand is probably a good idea.

EishetChayil · 10/01/2022 13:45

Stay with us here, Georgia.

Please know that not everything has to be "inclusive" and "validating". Some situations and settings are rightfully and needfully exclusive; it isn't always an act of unkindness to exclude. And not everything is "valid" in every situation. These are empty words that lobby groups are pushing as a form of silencing and forced compliance.

Here you'll find learned, informed, and compassionate women - straight, lesbian, bisexual. Women who have questioned their gender and the patriarchy for decades. Women who are fighting to make things better for the young women coming up behind us. We won't sit back and allow our long-fought rights to be erased by what is essentially the next hydra-head of the men's rights movement.

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 10/01/2022 13:49

@EishetChayil "next hydra-head of the men's rights movement"

The echidna has a 4 headed penis. Have the MRA got a mascot?

GeorgiaPass · 10/01/2022 14:23

I appreciate that absolutely and it's like anything isn't it? If this were a different conversation on the forum I would be viewed differently again

I don't want anyone's rights to be erased - I never thought my comments would suggest that and that is why I am trying to apologise for my mistakes in language and how I have put things across

Inclusivity is difficult even with the best intentions I agree

GeorgiaPass · 10/01/2022 14:32

Hi Datun,

I understand your response absolutely and thank you for sharing I appreciate hearing from others.

My views were not to express this however, I am fully aware of the threats to women (I am assigned female at birth) and so, your explanations are correct of course, whether they should be is another issue because it's awful isn't it?

If you disagree with my use of the 'be kind' statement I apologise, just because I am speaking to women at the moment and therefore it does have connotations of the issues you have outlined - I wonder if you would view this differently were I talking to a different group that included men and non binary or gender non conforming people? I used the statement purely for the words themselves asking people to be understanding of the people at both sides of the original story. So I apologise again for any offence caused and want to say that I would never want to lift one group up by bringing down another

Thanks again

Helleofabore · 10/01/2022 14:47

GeorgiaPass

Do you genuinely not see the condescension in telling people 'be kind'?

How do YOU respond when someone who has come across as patronising and wanting to educate you says 'be kind'?

I am not sure what your intention here is, I join others in saying that you are most welcome, but the phrases you keep using here seem like they are straight out of the trans activist playbook on how to interact with people who hold views that do not match your own.

They are guaranteed to make people immediately distrustful.

I wonder if you would view this differently were I talking to a different group that included men and non binary or gender non conforming people?

Why is this relevant to us here and now? We are told to 'be kind' nearly every day on this board and it usually does follow some other order, slur or derrogation. Just like on twitter and other social media. Therefore, it is not relevant to us who any other group responds.

strange to be asked if it would. Do you normally tell others regularly to 'be kind'?

HaroldMeeker · 10/01/2022 14:50

I wonder if you would view this differently were I talking to a different group that included men and non binary or gender non conforming people?

Go ahead. You do that. You go on the reddit trans boards and other places like them and tell them all that they have to "Be kind" , specifically to females who DON'T simper agreeably whilst their rights are stripped from them. People like JK Rowling. People like Posie Parker. Tweet India Willoughby and tell India that they have to be kind to JK Rowling.

Go ahead. Maybe you contain some magic essence that will make them listen to you. I suspect you'll have your arse handed to you on a platter, but on you go.

HoardingSamphireSaurus · 10/01/2022 14:51

@GeorgiaPass

Hi Datun,

I understand your response absolutely and thank you for sharing I appreciate hearing from others.

My views were not to express this however, I am fully aware of the threats to women (I am assigned female at birth) and so, your explanations are correct of course, whether they should be is another issue because it's awful isn't it?

If you disagree with my use of the 'be kind' statement I apologise, just because I am speaking to women at the moment and therefore it does have connotations of the issues you have outlined - I wonder if you would view this differently were I talking to a different group that included men and non binary or gender non conforming people? I used the statement purely for the words themselves asking people to be understanding of the people at both sides of the original story. So I apologise again for any offence caused and want to say that I would never want to lift one group up by bringing down another

Thanks again

If I may pre-empt Datun a little:

We don't really go with the AFAB either. As nobody is assigned anything, there being no choice to be made. Sex is recognised, seen at birth, usually ascertained via scan months prior. So you'll get challenged on that here.

Whether 'they' should be? What should be what? Threats? Explanations? Ignored? Welcomed? What?

As you are speaking to women - this is when you want to tell the people you are speaking to to be kind? That is the internalised misogyny we are trying to explain. And a view from anyone here on how that would received by a group of men, non binary or otherwise is not really relevant either. Go ask them. We don't know and don't presume to speak for them (unlike so very many people who claim to speak for women).

And being understanding it what got us here: when women face men in prison cells, in sports, in rape crisis centres, etc etc. When the voices of women are being drowned out by the shouts for inclusivity. When the word woman is being taken off all osrts of women services and goods. So no, we won't be understanding, or kind. Why should we?

You may say you would never want to lift one group by bringing down another but by telling us to be kind, get educated or shut up that is precisely what you were doing You have already told us you willundertsand but not change your mind or views... so you still are doing that!

vivariumvivariumsvivaria · 10/01/2022 14:53

@GeorgiaPass you aren't making mistakes in your language. We disagree with your points.

Debate is good. Especially in mixed groups, like this - again, you are assuming there are no men, NB or GNC people here. Or that we do not live with or care for people who are.

GeorgiaPass · 10/01/2022 14:58

I never said anyone had to simper to me - and the people you have mentioned I would not do that to them either because they have their own reasons (I for one do not agree with the opinions of JK Rowling)

And as for having it handed to me that's fine - I think some people have today and I do not contain a magic essence because believe me I don't think that highly of myself - I commented on a post concerning one person asking people to be kind in their comments concerning that person and I have apologised for where I have spoken incorrectly - I don't know what more I can do to be honest as you and others have spoken to me in the exact way you didn't like my words.

I can only apologise again - and just ask you and others do you never think I have had right stripped? Even if not I was not speaking for the people you mentioned but I never claimed to be.

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