Is this ok for my email pronouns

[ohhmyown]

My company has an auto filed message under our email signatures

Xxx asks colleagues, clients and partners to respect that my pronouns are ... ( I fill this)

I want to put.... Myname. Which is obviously female as Its a classic British name, but often clients I deal with in the EMEA areas write to me as my surname or Mr surname, just assuming I'm a man and you know what I just don't care. I don't want to write she/ they/ that/ wear a hat.

Maybe 'under construction'? Give them something to think about (and to use behind your back when they are discussing you - because that's what we all do at work isn't it?)

According to this list "Whatever" is a pronoun. Just saying.

@DoorhandlesUnited

... in line with usual English language conventions.

Like

I don't even get the point in telling someone your third-person pronouns in an email. It'd be rude if they wrote back and referred to you like that.

Urgh that’s not even grammatically corrrect. Ironically, it should read, “XXX asks you to respect that her/his/their pronouns are...”.

Personally I’d go with, “... are in no way related to my job.” (Also grammatically incorrect but they started it!)

I don’t understand why people say things like it’s too triggering or I’m not ready to out myself yet as that just giving validity to the whole ridiculousness!

... my pronouns are A Matter Of Very Little Importance

My employer did much the same. Mine says "my preferred pronouns are sex based".

@KihoBebiluPute

According to this list "Whatever" is a pronoun. Just saying.

Ooh I like the idea of selecting some random pronouns from this list... Or going with thou/ thee/ thy.

... and then get stroppy when said boss forgets to refer to you by them 😂

@LadyCatStark

Urgh that’s not even grammatically corrrect. Ironically, it should read, “XXX asks you to respect that her/his/their pronouns are...”.

Personally I’d go with, “... are in no way related to my job.” (Also grammatically incorrect but they started it!)

I don’t understand why people say things like it’s too triggering or I’m not ready to out myself yet as that just giving validity to the whole ridiculousness!

You are being naive. Read this thread and you will understand why.

Any company that is compelling employees to add pronouns will be very invested in trans ideology and probably under the thumb of Stonewall. The OP will be putting herself at risk if she is defiant. It is safer to out-woke them.

I've always loved the fact that having a gender-neutral name means that people often assume that I'm a man (I am a woman and have always been a woman). This has:
a) given me some distinct advantages in some professional areas of my life
b) been quietly amusing and an interesting ice breaker when we meet and other people are a bit surprised

It is a bit annoying with current trends that my game is now up!

However I suppose the point is that there are people in my professional life for whom being repeatedly mistaken for and addressed as the wrong sex is an issue and causes disadvantages. If going along with filling in the pronouns helps them then fine and I am happy to do this.

It would p*ss me off though if the company were doing this to signal that they were inclusive and caring - while actually offering no real support to trans people or any other minorities!

Tell him that he is making it very difficult for you in your personal journey toward your true identity. It is highly pressurising to make you pick one identity right now - this is a private personal journey and for him to "out" you like this is very very unsupportive and honestly creates a somewhat hostile environment for you and anyone else in the same situation. He is essentially forcing people to reveal something publically that they may wish to remain private. Shame on him.

@ohhmyown

My boss just chased me and I told him "I can't identify what I identify as." He said that's the best laugh he's had all week. So if I can't decide maybe he can ask HR is they have an helpful online training I can complete 😖 What a git.

Oh, so it isn't a personal feeling, but rather something you only realise once you've had some online brainwashing training?

"HR, you're asking me to include something in my email signature which would open me up to sex based discrimination. However, as the owner of a vagina and XX chromosomes I am protected under the equalities act 2010 from sex based discrimination. Perhaps you want to consider making pronouns optional: You don't force closeted trans folk to either come out or misgender themselves, and you don't force anyone else to subscribe to a belief system in the same way you don't force anyone to share their religious beliefs."

I'd just email them and say that you feel what you identify as is private and you do not wish everyone to have such information about you.

It's just ridiculous to enforce this. I can't imagine what this must feel like for someone with gender dysphoria. It feels pushy,

” I work in brand marketing .. So it's in many countries, in some of these countries it's painful enough being a women advising ( telling them what they should do)”
Are you one of these women telling them what to do? If so, I’d tell your boss that it would be detrimental to your work if they knew you were a woman (there are a couple of well known cases where this has happened) and so it would be better all round of you didn’t “out” yourself as a woman, as there’s be no putting the genie back in the bottle once it’s out

"irrelevant".

@HavelockVetinari

Go back to your manager and say that you don't want to have pronouns in your signature, because:

1. some trans people might not be 'out' at work yet - so you're basically forcing them to misgender themselves with every email they send.
2. drawing attention to the fact that you're female has shown to have negative consequences in the way people treat you (usually subconsciously) so you'd prefer not to.

Exactly this. It's outrageous that they are asking people to out themselves like this.

The fact you've left it as 'insert choices' is weird.

Just delete it.

Ok boss, I identify as CEO gender.

Kind Regards,
Findwen

CEO

Why does it bother you? If your pronouns are she/ her why do you not want to add it to your email signature?

It bothers me extremely. This would be the case even if I had no 'triggering' reasons for it to bother me which, as it happens, I do. The increasingly enforced compliance with this ideology means people in my sort of situation constantly have to keep explaining their reasons as to why they don't want to this, until they are sick of hearing themselves. Victims of trauma, or people who have suffered discrimination, harassment or discrimination in the workplace, should not be repeatedly put into that position. Nor, for that matter, should those who have had an uphill battle in asserting that their sex or gender has nothing to do with the way they do their work.

It's the pressured/forced compliance that sticks so much in the craw. It's not for YOU to decide this doesn't hurt me, or to question why it bothers me (it does). I'll make that call.

Xxx asks colleagues, clients and partners to respect that my pronouns are sacrosanct.

@EmbarrassingMama

The fact you've left it as 'insert choices' is weird.

Just delete it.

Most people have left it like this, think it's a bit of a running joke, it auto inserts, and when dealing with external partners we have to include our signature, hence HR asking the senior Managers to get us to complete it.

@toffeebutterpopcorn

Can you change it every day?

I'd go with male and ask for a payrise.

I'm seeing a few people adding Mrs to their signature which seems really regressive.

Also lots from senior (male) health officials with 'he /him'. The luxury belief, costs them nothing but proven to negatively affect women and actually probably not all that pleasant for anyone struggling with their identity.

Wait, so you implied you were struggling with what to identify as and he laughed at you? That's not very woke of him now is it.

Wonder what HR would have to say about him mocking you.