Is this ok for my email pronouns

[ohhmyown]

My company has an auto filed message under our email signatures

Xxx asks colleagues, clients and partners to respect that my pronouns are ... ( I fill this)

I want to put.... Myname. Which is obviously female as Its a classic British name, but often clients I deal with in the EMEA areas write to me as my surname or Mr surname, just assuming I'm a man and you know what I just don't care. I don't want to write she/ they/ that/ wear a hat.

because research shows that when women draw attention to their femaleness over email, they are treated differently e.g. more likely to be argued with, more likely to be assumed to be in subordinate role than a man

I'd change to your name as discussed, but then delete it each time you remember.

That way if you accidentally slip up you can't be accused of not complying.
I'd also probably make some vague noises about feeling uncomfortable with HR if it came to it and have relevant information on female performance and 'outing' printed out and ready to be dropped at a moment's notice.

@Joeblack066

Why does it bother you? If your pronouns are she/ her why do you not want to add it to your email signature?

I don't know why it bothers me to write it down, it just seems like we've moved on from having put my title as a Miss on correspondence, so I suppose I'm just annoyed by it.

I'd find a piece of academic research to send to manager showing that women are not treated equally in the workplace. So why is it necessary to highlight that you are female. It is a completely valid concern.

All this is utter bullshit. For the sake of sooo few people. It doesn't even help them.

My pronouns follow the usual traditions.

@HavelockVetinari

Go back to your manager and say that you don't want to have pronouns in your signature, because:

1. some trans people might not be 'out' at work yet - so you're basically forcing them to misgender themselves with every email they send.
2. drawing attention to the fact that you're female has shown to have negative consequences in the way people treat you (usually subconsciously) so you'd prefer not to.

This, except either don't bother with point 2 because it will raise suspicions that you are a T**F and undermine the force of point 1 or, if you want to use it, acknowledge that it applies to TW too.

@Joeblack066

Why does it bother you? If your pronouns are she/ her why do you not want to add it to your email signature?

It's taken as a sign that people agree with the concept of gender identity. If you don't agree with it you shouldn't be pressured into doing things that suggest you do.

If someone doesn't state pronouns it can be assumed they are happy with the conventional ones. There is no need for them to make this explicit if they don't wish to do so.

I don't know how we got here anyway. Wasn't the argument that we should respect other people's pronoun choices? How did it get to the stage of being pressurised to "choose" your own if you have bo wish to do so?

Can you change it every day?

OP even if it's a employer set signature you should be able to edit it so it's permanently gone each time. Open a new email, go to insert and signature and you can edit.

I don't know how we got here anyway. Wasn't the argument that we should respect other people's pronoun choices? How did it get to the stage of being pressurised to "choose" your own if you have bo wish to do so?

It's to do with being an "ally" and if we all state our pronouns then it normalises that everyone has preferred pronouns so that if someone's pronouns do not appear to match their physical self, it's not seen as odd or "othering".

But it is really regressive I think, in many ways. Like much else to do with 'gender'.

No company that does this is going to give a fuck about women (at least not the cunty type), so the OP is wasting her time making a case based on sexism. The OP will be safer and more effective by pretending to play along, but raising concerns about unintended consequences for trans people.

@HavelockVetinari's point 1 is true, btw. We had a trans patient who was really traumatised by some school event where they sat in a vast circle and declared pronouns. It wasn't so much having to misgender himself, as the fact that he thought - correctly I'm sure! - that it made everyone in the room focus on his being trans when that was the last thing he wanted because he wants (however unrealistically) to be accepted as a boy.

Not sure if anyone has posted this but it outlines lots of the arguments against compulsion including giving some good examples of work done on discrimination

My boss just chased me and I told him "I can't identify what I identify as." He said that's the best laugh he's had all week. So if I can't decide maybe he can ask HR is they have an helpful online training I can complete 😖 What a git.

It's taken as a sign that people agree with the concept of gender identity. If you don't agree with it you shouldn't be pressured into doing things that suggest you do

I agree, but I also think it is rude. I've always told people who make a mistake about my name not to worry, they can call me by any name they want as long as it is not rude. I think I would put something of that nature in the pronoun statement

"... respect that my pronouns are... not something I feel is necessary to declare or define in an email signature"
Or
"...respect that my pronouns are... not something that I have a preference about".
Or
#... Respect that my pronouns are... Irrelevant to my job role & communications".

I, and me and mine, surely?

"Appropriate to my sex" ?

"This makes me deeply uncomfortable. I am not prepared to discuss this very private matter in a professional setting in order for the company to appear 'inclusive'. I thank you not to bring this subject up again - it is upsetting enough to have to read emails with this topic raised every day of my working life. Now I have work to do..."

I would go with "undecided"

Oh I would take all the training and then still say you can’t decide! 😂

"undefined".

I think that's what you need, OP.

....my pronouns are undefined.
... my pronouns are under review.
... my pronouns are under consideration.

Obvious?

Then ask how much this training and loss of productive time was costing the business.

Actually I think I like "under consideration" best.

You can be considering gender in many ways!

Or "in flux". My pronouns are in flux. Betcha HR wouldn't be able to have a discussion about that...