Mumsnet Says They Are Trans Friendly; What do you think?

[Nightinghawk]

I’m coming over from Twitter since @/MumsnetTowers has encouraged people to join, promising that they would not ban people for using the word “cis” and also that they think “Campaigning against trans people’s existing human rights and legal protections is transphobic” is “an interesting question and a debate [they’d] welcome seeing on the boards.” When asked if they believe that trans women are women, trans men are men, and nonbinary people are nonbinary, they responded with “We believe adults have a right to say what they think about matters of active public debate.” However, they do say they do not tolerate hate speech, malicious content, sweeping negative generalizations, derogatory or aggressive content on their site.

Given the conflicting messages I’ve seen from them in the past, and the fact that they to this day think campaigns against trans people’s rights could in any way not be transphobic and their hesitance to affirm trans people’s autonomy in our self-description and our gender(s), I’m hesitant to believe that Mumsnet the site is actually trans friendly. I mean this as no disrespect to the mod team or others in position of authority; it is merely my opinion (and lived experiences) that any online forum that doesn’t immediately consider campaigns against trans people’s rights as transphobic tend to have (accidentally or otherwise) cultivated a transphobic customer base on their forums. I say this as a trans person who has been leveled all kinds of harassment in a variety of online forums, where those which had not condemned transphobia had immensely more transphobia in quantity and in vitriol.

All this is to say, I’d like to hear your (Mumsnet’s users’) opinions on the matter. Is Mumsnet really a trans friendly space? Do you believe that advocating against trans people’s existing rights is transphobic or anti-trans? Do you think these existing rights for trans people are “interesting” enough for “debate”? Do you think the term cis should be censored? Am I safe asking for/providing advice here as a trans person? Why? Why not?

For reference: I am nonbinary trans and use xe/xem pronouns. I understand they can be difficult to use or to remember to be used for some people. If you don’t want to use my pronouns, then please use my username: Nightinghawk, or NH as shorthand.

[quote TheChampagneGalop]Seems like OP hasn't been impressed by the responses here.
twitter.com/Nightinghawk/status/1368216021253906441[/quote]
Goodness - I’m blocked. Probably because I follow some uppity women on Twitter. This is really strange behaviour.

Haven't read any of the thread. Just thought. It's MumsNet, it's about Mums and children and the Mums are females which includes women and transmen. I've never seen anyone say anything otherwise.

I'm not on Twitter so I'm just going by the archives posted here where they are posting about the beliefs of young people which made me think they are older.

Me neither but I clicked on one of the links to their Twitter account on this thread

[quote TheChampagneGalop]Seems like OP hasn't been impressed by the responses here.
twitter.com/Nightinghawk/status/1368216021253906441[/quote]
Oh, I’m blocked.
That’s a shame.

What is a multi gender lesbian??

Multigender:

https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/what-it-means-to-be-multigender-the-questions-many-have-but-are-afraid-to-ask/

With the exception of genders that are appropriated from marginalized groups (see below), multigenders can include any type of gender imaginable. This extends to identities such as: agender or neutrois, which refer to having no gender; demigender, which refers to having partial gender; and antigender, which is the opposites of another gender (e.g. antigirl).

Is There A Limit To The Number Of Genders A Person Can Have?

No. Embracing multigenderism means refusing to limit the ways we can understand ourselves. A person can have as many genders as they can conceive of, with appropriated identities being the only exceptions (see below).

with appropriated identities being the only exceptions

... Er...

So using the cunning plan of not logging in, here is what Nighthawk took away from this conversation.

"Appropriated identities"

Now that's an interesting concept....

... Er...

Quite.

the Mums are females which includes women and transmen.

As a group? That may be quite offensive to many trans men given they refer to themselves as men and fathers.

Also I’m sure as far as MN are concerned that would also include trans women who are mums - if they have children and define themselves that way.

The mobile site works fine for me, I've been using it for years!

Also... the whole of mumsnet is ableist? Based on a few comments on this thread?! Mmmkay

It really pisses me off when people make sweeping generalisations about mumsnet, as if every single user is the same and has the same opinion, no we're not and no we don't, that's the fucking point!

The comment about being ableist seems to come from the use of the term ‘spoons’, which I’d never heard before.

@StanfordPines

The comment about being ableist seems to come from the use of the term ‘spoons’, which I’d never heard before.

I saw that mentioned (not used) somewhere and have absolutely no idea what it referred to.

Have read the whole thread and my takeaway is that Nighthawk must be really, really hard work to have as a friend.

I do know about spoons

But i dont think NOT knowing is ableist

Spoons is a chain of pubs, right?

It is family 😀

Have read the whole thread and my takeaway is that Nighthawk must be really, really hard work to have as a friend

cor ain't that the truth

It’s the idea of how many spoonfuls of energy you have to give at any one time.
People with disabilities will apparently use this term as they will simply run out of the energy to deal with people who don’t understand their disability or the best way to help them.

I like it as a term in general, and I see how it works but a simple ‘I don’t have the energy to deal with this right now’ is easier to understand I would think.

With NH used it and said it was a term from the disabled community it was said that people shouldn’t appropriate terms.

Its used for chronic illness as well as disability

I think spoons is something about energy.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Spoon

So why don’t people use the term “energy”, which is understood by everyone?

Why introduce a new word for something which already has a perfectly good word to describe it?

It’s almost like people want to deliberately “other” themselves by using arcane language.

It was years and years ago. Someone with a disability discovered that her friends got it for the first time why she said she couldn't do two strenuous things in the same day, when she used spoons as a currency. She handed her friend nine teaspoons and told them that getting dressed cost one spoon, and so on and told them to budget an imaginary day.

The friend ran out of spoons before lunchtime when planning the day and had an epiphany about the ill woman's life.

It’s almost like people want to deliberately “other” themselves by using arcane language.

I think you're right - and lay a trap for people to be accused of not respecting this 'otherness'.