Do you watch porn?

[RadandMad]

I've been reading a convo on Twitter where several people are claiming - including a woman - that women watch porn as well as men. My first reaction is, this isn't true. Sure, I've watched it from time to time, usually in the company of men, but it's so boring, so divorced from real sex/real bodies, that I'd almost rather do anything else.

Am I wrong? I realise I'm asking a group of women who are probably going to have a more cynical view of pornography, but I'm having a hard time believing women have a porn habit even remotely comparable to men's.

I was glib making the comment about minimizing rape. But then I look at this group sex comment and maybe I wasn’t so far off the mark
She doesn’t want to do it in real life, so outsources the sanitising of her fantasies so that they can be sold back to her

Exactly- thank you. It's revolting.

Way back in the dawn of time I watched some videos on tape of porn. It looked to me like violence against the women, the sort of sex you knew would feel painful. I did not feel comfortable watching it.

Fast forward to www.pornhub.cum and just look at that shit.

The titles alone "Destroy.... Wreck... Slut.... Cunt... Gang rape... Choke..... Racial Slur/ethic slur/underage/rape/teen/molestation/misogynistic slur/slur"

The glorification of violence against women for men's sexual gratification is rampant online and I can't look I look I barely want to acknowledge it's there it's so upsetting.

My point is it takes a huge amount of not thinking and caring to imagine that a woman being paid to have sex with 30 men for this woman's entertainment is not part of "real life"

Again, that's not what I interpreted. I understood it as her real life. Not real life in general. In other words I felt it was just her way of expressing "I don't do this, but I watch this". But we obviously have different interpretations of that, which is fine.

Has anyone seen the documentary ‘mums who make porn’ (or something of the like)? Basically a group of middle aged, prude judgey women whinging about how disgusting and misogynistic the world of porn is, and so they create their own ‘ethical porn’ film featuring couples who have to ask each other permission before they can even kiss and at the end of the film preach about safe sex and how it should only take places in the confines of a ‘loving relationship’.

It is the strangest, most unsexiest thing I’ve ever watched in my life but I imagine it would be up some people’s street on here.

“whinging about how disgusting and misogynistic the world of porn is,*

Oh yes, those pesky wimmin moaning about sex trafficking and exploitation. Why don’t they just shut the fuck up.

Again, that's not what I interpreted. I understood it as her real life. Not real life in general. In other words I felt it was just her way of expressing "I don't do this, but I watch this". But we obviously have different interpretations of that, which is fine.

I think you’re missing the point.

The woman in that charming little anecdote would never have group sex with 30 men, I’m sure there are various reasons for this including the fact it would fucking hurt.

But in order to get off, she’s more than happy for some other nameless woman to be injured, degraded and exploited.

That is repulsive, and even worse when it’s dressed up as some form of liberation and sex positivity.

She is not the one being fucked for money- she's just getting her jollies watching another woman getting fucked for money- but hey "it's not real"

She said in her very first sentence, which you cut out of the quote when you copied it: "I have a specific fantasy which has nothing to do with my real actions and life."

She is very clearly saying "this isn't my real life, it's a fantasy that I watch". She isn't saying "this isn't real life" in the sense that she is unaware that it's real for others.

@Deathgrip

Again, that's not what I interpreted. I understood it as her real life. Not real life in general. In other words I felt it was just her way of expressing "I don't do this, but I watch this". But we obviously have different interpretations of that, which is fine.

I think you’re missing the point.

The woman in that charming little anecdote would never have group sex with 30 men, I’m sure there are various reasons for this including the fact it would fucking hurt.

But in order to get off, she’s more than happy for some other nameless woman to be injured, degraded and exploited.

That is repulsive, and even worse when it’s dressed up as some form of liberation and sex positivity.

I'm not missing the point at all.

It's clear what the woman meant.

@LouJ85

My point is it takes a huge amount of not thinking and caring to imagine that a woman being paid to have sex with 30 men for this woman's entertainment is not part of "real life"

Again, that's not what I interpreted. I understood it as her real life. Not real life in general. In other words I felt it was just her way of expressing "I don't do this, but I watch this". But we obviously have different interpretations of that, which is fine.

Of course it is part of her real life. How can you or she possibly think it isn't?.

Of course it is part of her real life. How can you or she possibly think it isn't?.

Simple. Because she isn't doing it.
That was my take on the quote.

@LouJ85

She is not the one being fucked for money- she's just getting her jollies watching another woman getting fucked for money- but hey "it's not real"

She said in her very first sentence, which you cut out of the quote when you copied it: "I have a specific fantasy which has nothing to do with my real actions and life."

She is very clearly saying "this isn't my real life, it's a fantasy that I watch". She isn't saying "this isn't real life" in the sense that she is unaware that it's real for others.

You are missing the point. She is lying to herself , whether knowingly or not. It is part of her real life because she is complicit by being a consumer of pornography.

You are missing the point. She is lying to herself , whether knowingly or not. It is part of her real life because she is complicit by being a consumer of pornography.

No. I'm not missing the point.

She was asked: "why do you watch porn?", and her answer was "I like to watch stuff I don't engage in personally myself in my own sex life, because it's a fantasy of mine".

She wasn't asked the question: "do you think your consumption of porn is harmful on a wider societal level?", so we don't know whether her answer would be yes or no, therefore we don't know her thoughts on that particular aspect.

We can't judge her as lying to herself when we don't know her answer to the second question.

@LouJ85

Of course it is part of her real life. How can you or she possibly think it isn't?.

Simple. Because she isn't doing it.
That was my take on the quote.

I'll try and make it more simple. The age of consent is lower than 18 for porn in some countries. Let's imagine it's a 15 year old girl getting fucked for money so this woman can get off on it.

By what possible stretch of the imagination can being complicit in watching a criminal act not be part of her real life?

Or does sticking her fingers in her ears and going "la la la, can't hear you" make it not real?

The age is irrelevant btw, I'm only using it as a method of showing the idiocy of her saying it's not part of her "real life".

She is a consumer of porn- everything we consume is part of our "real lives".

@LizzieSiddal the issue of trafficking is not exclusive to porn. A worker serving you in a coffee shop may have been trafficked for all you know. And as for exploitation- I genuinely can’t see how a consenting adult being paid for the performances (probably a lot more than you or me) is being exploited? By that standard any actor in a film or soap who has to act out a fake rape, sex or murder scene or remove any of their clothing are being exploited too?

No and wouldn't be with a partner who watched or thought it was ok. So many many trafficked men, women and children. Why would anybody want to be a party to that

@MissBarbary

Ok, we are going around in circles now.

Whether or not one believes that watching porn is contributing to the problem, is one debate.

Whether or not one is able to accurately interpret a quote, is another.

I thought we were debating the latter. It's far too late for me personally to be getting into the ins and outs of the former! (And FYI - I don't entirely disagree with you - I just don't think that's what this particular woman was meaning).

And as for exploitation- I genuinely can’t see how a consenting adult being paid for the performances (probably a lot more than you or me) is being exploited? By that standard any actor in a film or soap who has to act out a fake rape, sex or murder scene or remove any of their clothing are being exploited too?

I see your point here.

You are still missing the point. I don't need to ask her your second question. Her answer is irrelevant. Her actions speak for themselves.

@LouJ85

And as for exploitation- I genuinely can’t see how a consenting adult being paid for the performances (probably a lot more than you or me) is being exploited? By that standard any actor in a film or soap who has to act out a fake rape, sex or murder scene or remove any of their clothing are being exploited too?

I see your point here.

You would do - because you don’t seem to see the difference between acting and having sexual encounters you wouldn’t choose to have, for money. If a woman was being giving money she desperately needed by a man she knows, that would be coercion, especially if it’s an act she wouldn’t choose to engage in. But in porn it’s fine because there’s a camera rolling. I think for some people it’s so far removed from reality but I can’t get my head round this at all.

It's clear what the woman meant.

Yes it’s very clear! She is happy to observe a woman going through something painful and damaging because she gets off on it, but wouldn’t do it herself because she knows the reality would be horrendous.

You actually thought copying in that study was good? 🤦🏼‍♀️

It was neither "good" nor "not good", to be honest. It was a response to a pp who said earlier that she was curious to find out women's reasons for watching porn. What better way to find out if you're interested, than to look at what the research says? That's why I posted it.

@Deathgrip

Take your very clearly personal issue with me elsewhere.

Another poster made that comment, not me! And just because I see their point, you see another opportunity to jump on me? Rather than address the original poster?

Not engaging with type of behaviour any further.

She is happy to observe a woman going through something painful and damaging because she gets off on it, but wouldn’t do it herself because she knows the reality would be horrendous.

Again - why jump on me about this? It's not my quote is it?

Scroll back and you will see a pp clearly saying "I said yes to the watching of porn but wouldn't do it myself as I'd find it unenjoyable".

Interesting how you have bypassed that poster - who sounds similar to the woman in the study who's quote and morals you are debating with me - in favour of continuing to badger me...

@MissBarbary

You are still missing the point. I don't need to ask her your second question. Her answer is irrelevant. Her actions speak for themselves.

I disagree but we'll leave that one there.

@Deathgrip there’s some pretty explicit sex and nudity scenes in some standard, well known movies with actors who probably wouldn’t have chosen to do them. A lot of actors find kissing and sex scenes cringeworthy and uncomfortable but accept that’s it’s part of their role and they have to follow the lead of the director. So by your reckoning any actor who has to act out a sex scene or take off their clothes in front of the camera is being exploited?