Do you watch porn?

[RadandMad]

I've been reading a convo on Twitter where several people are claiming - including a woman - that women watch porn as well as men. My first reaction is, this isn't true. Sure, I've watched it from time to time, usually in the company of men, but it's so boring, so divorced from real sex/real bodies, that I'd almost rather do anything else.

Am I wrong? I realise I'm asking a group of women who are probably going to have a more cynical view of pornography, but I'm having a hard time believing women have a porn habit even remotely comparable to men's.

@Firstbellini

Justhadathought,

I watched porn because I was in a very sad and mentally unwell period in my life. Seeing other people having sex felt very intimate and human. Through Twitter accounts and other social media I was able to interact with the performers so felt that they weren’t just totally random people. I didn’t use pornhub and paid a proper Subscription to Helix, so felt at least I wasn’t unethical in that way. I thought I was doing it in the most ethical way I could but still later found out that one of the performers was abused prior to starting in porn, so I still feel I supported the exploitation of a vulnerable person, and was deluding myself at the time.

I hope you are in a better place now. I'm interested in you say it felt very human. My very limited experience of what I assume was fairly vanilla porn felt exactly the opposite. It was dehumanising and animalistic. It certainly wasn't a turn on.

So far as the connection to feminism I don't think it is remotely necessary to be a feminist to see the ethical problems with pornography or prostitution. On the other hand if one does call oneself a feminist it seems an odd choice to be pro pornography.

A lot of straight porn including ‘vanilla’ porn presumably is filmed to appear animalistic and dehumanising. I don’t think it is accidental. I have no interest in straight porn, although that doesn’t resolve the exploitation issue.

I I hate it

Well I will have to bow to your superior knowledge of the aesthetic values of the different types of filmed prostitution.

You (general you) can dress it up however much you want but that's what it is.

@LouJ85

I could explain quite well, yes. But I won't. Because given the overwhelmingly negative views of porn in general on this thread, I don't wish to open myself up personally to criticism.

Are you ashamed? Or something else? As why would you not explain about something you see no wrong in

Opinions about harm and damage porn is not criticism its also your conscious trying to tell you something

Would you yourself do porn?

You ever wonder what makes someone do porn

No. I saw some once, many years ago and found it repugnant. It was directed by a woman and aimed at women too apparently.

Yeuuch.

No absolutely not. Wouldn't be with someone who used it either.

I feel so sorry for our kids growing up in a world where it is normalised and inescapable. It turns my stomach to think about.

Telling women on the feminist board that you are are not a feminist adds precisely fuck all to any debate being had.

Do you go to Christian boards and wang on about how you're an atheist?

(That's a rhetorical question, feel free to ignore.)

NC. Woman. Single. I sometimes like looking at pictures or videos of naked men.
Don’t know if that makes me a bad person or not.

@Talkingaboutrudethings

NC. Woman. Single. I sometimes like looking at pictures or videos of naked men. Don’t know if that makes me a bad person or not.

That's an interesting point. I honestly can't make my mind up.

I wasn't talking to you Lou.

However now I've caught your attention may I make a plea for you to try to flesh out "an explanation of my own reasons"... as I'm sure it would be interesting and help people to understand why some women use porn.

We are all anonymous here after all!

NC. Woman. Single. I sometimes like looking at pictures or videos of naked men. Don’t know if that makes me a bad person or not

Looking at pictures doesn't make you a bad person no. Humans are beautiful, sexual creatures, turned on and excited by sex with those they are attracted to. That's cool.

The issue for me arises with the industry, not the act of watching porn itself. The industry is exploitative and relies on degrading (mostly) vulnerable women for the sexual pleasure of strangers. There is no way to tell if an image being viewed has exploited someone or not, but you can guarantee the industry has.

If there was a way to absolutely ensure pornography was ethically made I'd be interested, however there's not. And it still raises the question of those taking part in the 'ethical' porn and their boundaries etc. Who knows. It's not a risk I want to take.

Yes, I have done, but no I don't. I followed a link sent to me by a friend who did media studies once and watched a video where a man lifted up a metal trapdoor in his floor to a small cell where there was a woman in white underwear looking exhausted and he and another man emptied gallons of ice water onto her and laughed and closed it back up. I thought it was a crime re-enactment until a second later, it cut to this very obviously freezing cold and soaking wet woman being penetrated by one with red hand prints on her face and the other was shouting "you wanna warm up, don't ya? Work for it!!"

It was about a decade ago. I reported it, nothing was ever said about it to me, I asked my friend what the fuck and he said he thought it was "hot as fuck"
No longer a friend.
And I could no longer watch porn and think it was just a bit of harmless fun. I'm not sure it ever was. Some probably is but how would you ever know?

@SheGonBringThatAttitudeHome2

Telling women on the feminist board that you are are not a feminist adds precisely fuck all to any debate being had.

Do you go to Christian boards and wang on about how you're an atheist?

(That's a rhetorical question, feel free to ignore.)

Oh dear me. What a tizz and what a narrow perspective. Did you miss the series of posts querying whether feminists are more likely than non- feminists to be anti- porn?

Pornography and prostitution are human rights issues in they are deeply abusive and harmful to the individuals concerned and to society generally. "Feminists" don't get any special right to call out here.

If anything it does more harm than good to the aim of minimising pornography and not normalising prostitution if it's seen only as a " feminist" issue.

Oh and your comparison with a religious board is spurious. Feminism relates to women, I'm a woman and have as much right as you to comment on here.

I posted similar earlier - I asked for people's views on solo male masturbation videos. I was met with the response that this could also be exploitative as you don't know the circumstances behind it being uploaded and by whom.

I guess so. Some people will argue that anyone being paid to do it is being exploited in some way.

No, it degrades & harms women & children.

Who said they weren't a feminist? Not sure if that's directed at me, but it's certainly not what I said. I said I don't fully understand the term and queried whether I was or not, whilst also pointing out that many women agree wholeheartedly with the notion of gender equality without necessarily using "feminist" as the term they apply to themselves, as per the link and graph I referenced

I did. The poster with the spelling mistake in her name clearly didn't read the posts querying whether feminists were more likely to be anti porn than non feminists. I was replying to that.

She apparently is incapable of understanding that pornography and prostitution are harmful to society as a whole or that a woman might have an opinion on something affecting women without having to be a "feminist". Opposing pornography and prostitution is not and should not be some niche feminist interest.

Personally I don't think women will ever be truly equal whilst the oppressive and exploitative nature of prostitution and pornography is treated as normal.

@dworky

No, it degrades & harms women & children.

Absolutely agree. And this is not a niche feminist issue.

@LouJ85

But you happy to post links? So wasn’t that trying to sway people’s views.

You didn’t answer other questions.

I have son to young to know about porn and I’m kind of pissed that am going to have to discuss porn sooner rather than later as I can’t control what has become normalised, even child-line (I only learnt that from poster in mumsnet guest chat thread) even school playground. Thankfully at 8 he didn’t understand what get on your knees and suck dick meant he was more pissed off his friend was called a bitch first.

The conversation around porn with my daughter so different to what will have with my son.

If you won’t explain can you at least answer question would you do porn and why no or yes?

@LouJ85

Would you yourself do porn?

No, I wouldn't. But I could apply to that to several other situations. For example, I enjoy going to the theatre to watch a play at Christmas time, but I wouldn't want to be an actor on the stage. I enjoy watching my friends participate in particular sports. But I wouldn't want to do them myself. Etc ...

I’m lagging in catch up.

What reasons why you wouldn’t? I’m asking about porn only, am sure you could tell me why exactly about theatre but I’m not asking about that, just porn

With you 100% MissBarbary

Women will never be equal while prostitution and pornography are normalised.

The sad fact is that currently they are more than normalised they are celebrated as supposedly empowering. What a dreadful time to be growing up.